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I want my husband


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Sorry ... it's long

 

Me and my husband have been married for 4 years together for 7 years. We have a 7 year old son together that he adopted. During the course of our relationship, when things were good ... they were awesome, when things were bad ... they were horrible. The horrible times were mostly caused by his drinking. He is an alcoholic. I would say 99% of all our arguments were when he was drunk. The horrible times were only once every 3-5 weeks and only usually lasted the night it happened.

 

This last summer I was forced to quit my well paying job due to layoffs. My husband was trying to start a business in our basement. He would work all morning and when he got home from work, would work all evening ... sometimes until 1 - 2am. Go to sleep... get up and do the same thing. I was going through some depression due to quitting work, although I didn't realize I was depressed. And my husband wasn't paying any attention to me.

 

In October, I ran into my friends son, who was also a friend. We exchanged numbers. He lives 700 miles away and went back home the next night. We started texting one another and before I knew it ... we were texting constantly. For two months this went on. My husband realized something was wrong and we fought even more, but I was so angry at him for ignoring me constantly. We decided I would move out to get some space after Christmas. Decemeber 28th my husband confronted me about the texting. I didn't deny and it was a big relief to get it out. It was purely a friendship only, although I do realize I got emotionally attached.

 

My husband was needless to say angry, and I was deeply ashamed. He asked me to cut off contact with him. I did this knowing I had to and I wanted to for both of us. When I moved out the intent was to just get some space... a week or two and I had no intention of getting divorced. My husband drank at least 4 beers every night since I have known him and at the most 12-14. When we would go out with friends ... probably more than 14. He turned into an emotional wreak. Turned a little crazy on me and pushed me away almost every day. We would get along one day.... fight and scream the next day. We said so many hurtful things to each other. This went on until I moved all my possesions out on St. Patricks day. A week later we had the best talk ever. Both of us were crying, he thought I didn't care about him because I was acting so cold. I thought he was punishing me for not coming home. We got along for the next 4-5 weeks. Talking, texting, I went to the house and watched movies. Then he backed off a little. We hadn't talked about getting back together but I was feeling it and I know he was. We kissed a few times, hugged like we used to. Then it slowed down. He started argueing with me a little more.

 

I found out 2 weeks ago he has been hanging out with a girl. He says they are friends. I expressed that I wanted to work things out and he was mad at first, then the next day said he was thinking about it. Told me he couldnt get over all the hurtful things we said to each other and he didn't want to try. He told me this girl is not swaying his decision, but I know she is. He is living up the single life. She has no kids and they go out drinking all the time. He hardly spends time with our son any more and my son says he is constantly talking on the phone, texting or on his computer. My son is upset cause he doesnt keep his promises due to him always talking to her.

 

We both have always believed we were each others soul mates. We fit so perfectly together. Loved all the same things. I'm just so hurt and upset that he is throwing away 7 years for a few weeks with some girl. We went to a lawyer in march, but both have been dragging our feet. Now he is ready to speed everything up. Ready to get it over with. I found out he has lied to me these last 2 months about so many things and if she was just a friend why would he lie. I am not a jealous person as far as friends goes and he knows this.

 

His priorities are so out of order. He is putting himself over everyone including his son. I know he is covering up the pain with this new girl. I don't want to go through with the divorce, we haven't even filed papers yet. I'm waiting on him to get back with me so we can sign them. I can't make him want to be with me. But I miss him so much. I am 100% sure if she wasn't in the picture, we could work this out.

 

Sorry so long. Just wanted to get this out. Any words of advice? I cry all the time. I am so hurt and heartbroken. I want him back so badly. It makes it worse cause I still see him a few days a week due to our son. Thanks for reading or and advice.

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