I iI want my ex-wife back after a year of divorce BUT A HUGE HISTORY OF PROBLEMS.

[hooyah73]

I Recently Told My Ex-wife That I Want Her Back After A Year Of Being Divorced. After The Divorce Things Were Okay And We Said That We Wanted To Still Be Friends And Do Family Trips To Parks, And Amuzement Parks. However Things Have Not Been Good. I Still Had All Those Feelings Of Love For Her But The Way That The Marriage Was I Hated That. I Was Tired Of Feeling Like Being Taken For Granted And Not Loved. I Thought I Was Fed Up And Done. We Were Never On The Same Page When Trying To Make It Work. When I Tried She Wasn't And Vice Versa. Well, At This Point We Had Went Back And Fourth About Divorce And Things Had Been Ugly On Several Different Instances. Verbally, Not Physical, But Mentally. I Thought That There Was No Way To Save Our Marriage Because I Was So Dissapointed And Angry All The Time As Was She. Even Through All Of This We Were Not Truly Over Each Other The Night Before The Divorce My Ex Came To My House Drunk And Stated To Me That Maybe We Should Seperate Awhile And Figure Things Out. We Even Made Love And Fell Asleep In Each Others Arms. We Still Went The Next Day To The Court House Went Through It And Were In Shock After It Like We Were On Auto Pilot. I Think Neither Of Us Wanted The Divorce At First.

 

This Is How It All Began. From The First Time I Saw This Women I Adored Her And Wanted To Be With Her. However, After Getting To Know Her She Had Lots Of Male Friends That Were Ex's And They Did Not Respect Our Then Relationship. I Feel This Set The Tone For My Insecurities, And Feelings Of Anger And Mistrust Later Into Our Lives. My Ex Was Always Upfront, Honest And Even Told Me Things I Did Not Want To Know So I Really Didn't Have A Reason To Not Trust Her. We Both Grew Up In The Same Place Me A Transplant Her A Lifelong Resident. I Did Not Hang In The Same Circles But My Ex Had Wild Teenage Years. Running Away And Not Following Her Parents Rules. She Was A Good Student Straight A's But Felt She Was Grown And Wanted To Do Her Own Thing. I Learned Of This Through Dating And Talking With Her. I Knew Alot Of The People She Was With When We Were Younger And I Judged Her Based On This Which Was Wrong. I Don't Think She Has Ever Fully Forgiving Me For Some Of The Harsh Things I Said Early On But We Worked Through Them So I Thought Until We Spoke On 03/14/07 She Said She Has Thought About It Everytime She Has Thought About Us Working Things Out.

 

Forward A Bit Into The Future The Second Big Problem Was A Male Friend That She Met In A Bar When Were Dating And They Started A Phone Friend Relationship. We Were Together But Not As She Said But We Lived Together Until She Moved To Another State And I Stayed Behind. She Said She Needed To Go To Start Her Life Fresh And To Get Away From All The Negativity Of Where We Grew Up. We Stayed In Contact But So Did Her And This Guy. Well Some Months Later I Moved Out There With The Intent On Finding My Own Place To Be Closer To Her But We Decided To Live Together. She Had At This Time A 4 Y.o. Daughter That I Adored And Her Biological Was A Loser. While Living There Things Got Ugly About This Guy To A Point That I Feel She Went Into A Depression And Was Miserable. She Eventually Went To Visit This Person In Nyc. He Was A Semi-pro Football Player Out There. She Went For 3 Days Saw His Game And Came Back. She Asked If She Could Go And Like A Dummy I Said Sure And She Went So Why Did I Blame Her? When She Returned An All Out Battle Over If She Screwed This Person Or Not In Sued. She Looked Me In The Face And Never Flinched To Say She Could Not Believe I Still Thought So Low Of Her And That Nothing Had Happened. She Decided One Again To Move To Atl Where This Continued Over This Same Person. This Was A Disaster. Even Through All Of This We Eventually Decided To Get Married Sometime Later. Crazy Huh?

 

Forward To The Place We Moved Back To. The Same Place She Moved From In The First Place Good Old Wisconsin. Well Needless To Say This Conflict Was Supposed To Be Left In Atl But Shortly After Moving Back In December My Ex Gets A Call From This Guy In January. I Got The Call Because She Had Left Her Cell Phone When She Went To Work. I Was In Shock To Hear This Person's Voice. I Could Not Say Anything At First And I Decided How To Bring This To Her. She Told Me That She Had Bad Feelings About The Way It Went Down When She Told Him He Was Causing To Many Problems In Her Relationship. She Said She Was Really Mean To Him And Had Wanted To Tell Him That It Was Not His Fault And That The Only Reason She Had Called Him After Us Getting Over That Hurdle Was To Get That Of Her Chest Finally. Well This Continued For Awhile Until We Decided Once And For All To Let This Issue Be Done With Us And Move On. We Moved To A New Apartment And Things Were Finally Really Good. We Were Falling Deeper In Love And Then Decided To Get Married. We Chose Cancun Mexico And It Could Have Not Been More Perfect. Things Even Got Better For About 4 Months Then Bad And Then Good Then Bad. I Know This Relationship Sounds Really Disfunctional But It Really Was A Lot Of Great Times And Love. It Sounds Bad Because I'm Writing About This. Eventually Things Started A Downward Spiral And Eventually Ended In Divorce 3 Years After Marriage.

 

Now To The Present Question In The Subject Line. I Finally Got Everything Together To Tell Her I Still Love Her And Want Her But She Tells Me She Basically Had A Booty Call With This Guy A Couple Of Times He Turned Out To Be A Stalker And She Doesn't Deal With Him Anymore. Even Though We Had Not Been Together How Do I Get Over This? I Really Do Love Her And My Two Kids And This Is Not Just Because I See Her Moving On. I Brought My Love And Feelings To Her Before I Knew About This Other Guy. So What Do I Do? I See Images And Think About What She Did With This Guy Constantly. I Want To Have Our Family Back But She Is Still Hurt By The Past A Bit As I Am About This New Information. However She Said She Wished I Would Have Showed Her Any Of This Love Or Caring Even A Few Months Ago And This Thing That Is Killing Me Would've Never Happened. She Did Say She Regrets It Now She Knows How I Feel. She Said It Was Just A Piece And I Told Her We Were Done And She Felt There Was No Possible Way Of Getting Back With Me So She Decided To Do It. Affter She Told Me She Sent A Txt Stated She Never Wants To Hurt Me Ever. On A Brighter Note We Talked A Bunch Since Then And She Agreed To Go On A Lunch Date With Me Today 03/16/2007 And It Went Great. She Said She Has Lots Of Mixed Feeling Good And Bad And Does Not Even Know If She Wants To Be In A Serious Thing Or If She Wants To Continue Dating. She Did Say She Had A Wonderful Time And That She Would Shut Her Cell Off This Weekend Be Home With The Kids And Think About This All? Anyone Have Any Advice Especially The Single Women That Are Not Bitter And Hate Men. I Need Constructive Real Advice Not Destructive And Crass. Please Help I Truly Love This Women And My Kids And Messed Up By Not Working Harder To Make Ny Marriage Work.