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<3 Shaped Cufflinks--I Wear My Heart On My Sleeve!!


Young&Sexy21

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Young&Sexy21

Am I a fool to believe I can put my last relationship behind me by leaping carefree-ly into the next?

 

I'm into the idea of loving like I've never been hurt--life's too short to carry baggage. I feel that as long as I accept responsibility for my mistakes in my last relationship, and do my best to improve on these areas of interest, I feel as though falling in love with someone new is the only way I will be able to move past the pain I feel from my previous fizzled-out relationship.

 

My friends disagree and think I'm exhibiting wreckless and sef-destructive behaviour...and they may very well be not wrong. The thing is---it feels right to me! What do you think??

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I agree with you 100% Y&S! I got scorched 6 years ago and waited until this year to take a plunge. I am very careful with my heart. You have to be. Just make sure you are certain that the person you want to throw caution to the wind with is what you really want. Go after it then, but you've got to be certain your feelings are genuine. If they are, you can't lose. It didn't work for me here, but I am not losing hope. Sometimes the biggest risks pay off the biggest rewards. You've just got to realize when you are being taken advantage of. It's ok to jump in blind as long as you can see. See? You always have to take care of #1 first and foremost!

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You are leaving out some details here. What happened with the last relationship? Did your behavior have anything to do with how it ended? Did you cheat?...Did he cheat?

 

More details are needed...

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climbergirl
Am I a fool to believe I can put my last relationship behind me by leaping carefree-ly into the next?

 

I'm into the idea of loving like I've never been hurt--life's too short to carry baggage. I feel that as long as I accept responsibility for my mistakes in my last relationship, and do my best to improve on these areas of interest, I feel as though falling in love with someone new is the only way I will be able to move past the pain I feel from my previous fizzled-out relationship.

 

My friends disagree and think I'm exhibiting wreckless and sef-destructive behaviour...and they may very well be not wrong. The thing is---it feels right to me! What do you think??

 

 

If you say it feels 'right', I'm not sure why you are looking for approval.:confused:

 

And what is the wreckless/self-destructive behavior your friends say you are exhibiting?

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Young&Sexy21
You are leaving out some details here. What happened with the last relationship? Did your behavior have anything to do with how it ended? Did you cheat?...Did he cheat?

 

More details are needed...

 

We dated for 5 months. We fought in the begining because I wanted sex and she wanted me to wait. I waited. We went on a break..got back together within a week..still no sex but she compromised..we were fooling around and moving more towards sex. I realized I was being a jerk and fell back. She began to change--nitpicking and not wanting to spend any time together unless it was by her watch. I got frustrated feeling like I was being controlled--we fought once, twice and she broke it off in the middle of our second fight. She said there's just nothing left for her.

 

Was it my fault? I'm at fault. But so is she.

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Young&Sexy21
If you say it feels 'right', I'm not sure why you are looking for approval.:confused:

 

And what is the wreckless/self-destructive behavior your friends say you are exhibiting?

 

 

I'm asking because my friends are kind of worried about me. The behaviour they deem wreckless is this idea I have that I'm going to do it all over again, correcting for the mistakes I made the last time. They're all telling me "play the field...don't get serious with anyone" and things like that. One has tried to convince me that at 22 I'm way too young to expect anything good to come out of a serious relationship---->???

 

Obviously I disagree, and I'm sure he thinks I'm stubbourn and doomed to repeat.

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Young&Sexy21
Moving on when you're ready to do it, is a good thing. Jumping into a rebound relationship is not.

 

 

Thank you. But how can I be sure of the difference????

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Young&Sexy21
...Sometimes the biggest risks pay off the biggest rewards. You've just got to realize when you are being taken advantage of. It's ok to jump in blind as long as you can see. See? You always have to take care of #1 first and foremost!

 

Solid advice! Thank you. I don't "hope" though...I go get. I make choices and I decide what happens to me. This is exactly why I feel that if I want to move on without putting my guard up..I can do so comfortably. And if it doesn't work out..do it all over again..learning all the way, of course!

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tragicglands
We fought in the begining because I wanted sex and she wanted me to wait.

So... how are things going with the current babe? Do you think you might encounter the same resistance to being boned, or are you more on a winner?

They're all telling me "play the field...don't get serious with anyone" and things like that.

Sorry... your last attempt didn't sound so "serious" in the context of this statement. Do you believe that you have ever been (or are) in love?

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So... how are things going with the current babe? Do you think you might encounter the same resistance to being boned, or are you more on a winner?

 

Sorry... your last attempt didn't sound so "serious" in the context of this statement. Do you believe that you have ever been (or are) in love?

 

It must be the type of girls I go for, but I've found myself met witth that resistance before...that's why I was so adamandt about getting right into it.

 

And you are right--now that I think of it, what is a "serious" relationship??

 

I got pretty wrapped up in feelings, feeling high & feeling low--feeling good because she was my first to go beyond kissing with...but it was five months

 

I know I felt a few different things--I called it love--but now that you ask, I'm not so sure

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Young&Sexy21
So... how are things going with the current babe? Do you think you might encounter the same resistance to being boned, or are you more on a winner?

Sorry... your last attempt didn't sound so "serious" in the context of this statement. Do you believe that you have ever been (or are) in love?

It must be the type of girls I go for, but I've found myself met with that resistance before...that's why I was so adamant about getting right into it.

 

And you are right--now that I think of it, what is a "serious" relationship??

I got pretty wrapped up in feelings, feeling high & feeling low--feeling good because she was my first to go beyond kissing with...but it was five months

I know I felt a few different things--I called it love--but now that you ask, I'm not so sure

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Solid advice! Thank you. I don't "hope" though...I go get. I make choices and I decide what happens to me. This is exactly why I feel that if I want to move on without putting my guard up..I can do so comfortably. And if it doesn't work out..do it all over again..learning all the way, of course!

 

You've got a great attitude! But IMO, there is a little hope involved when you take a risk. When you make a choice that you are not 100% sure of but want, there is also a little hope involved. Going after what you want is a quality all people should possess but most don't, in my experience.

 

At the same time, you take the risk of getting hurt by falling too hard too fast by jumping in. I am in a similar situation right now. Sometimes I wish I didn't because it is hurting just as bad as any LTR that I've had has.

 

One last But... But, I also think that when you fall hard and fast, and it's THE ONE, it becomes storybook type material. I think there is nothing wrong with going fast so long as both parties are mutual. Usually it is only one or the other, but one can come through time to be like the other. Sometimes it is past experience and want to be careful, or another reason.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that each individual is different and one must be able to read the other at least somewhat in order to achieve the happiness they seek if that individual is the one they truly want. It gets that "if it's meant to be" crap going from there.

 

That's my take anyhow, hope it helps. Like I say, I like your stance, and you will become more wise on it the longer you progress through life, how to act on it I mean. Good luck!

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