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Trouble letting go.


tearsandfears

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tearsandfears

I'll try to keep this short and sweet. I was in a off-on long distance relationship for 5 years. She was my first sexual experience in my late twenties. From the time I first talked to her I always had this sense that she was the "one". Due to family problems and my own fault I only got to see her for a span of one week during this whole time though we talked on the phone pretty frequently. She's had other boyfriends and I haven't really dated that much. The situation had been pretty ambigious.

She started seeing someone in April and I expressed my disapproval and said it would be better if we just talked less like maybe every month or so. I did this because I figured she needed space and it would be good for me to heal and keep her as a friend. I made around 4 phone calls...with in the span of 2 months and she didn't return them at all.

Since then she hasn't talked to me except for one nasty Im where she said no one sets rules for her and she wouldn't talk to me for six years and to hope I was happy.

I feel like I've lost my best friend in the world. I've realized that it's not fair for me to keep bothering her....so I basically rid my living space of any traces of her and quit calling.

It's horrible I haven't physically spoken to her for 4 months but I still can't get past the reminders and sadness and just the way things ended. I feel I've lost a lover and a best friend. Holidays are awful as with each one I wonder what she's doing. I'm not really able to actively date right now so it's hard to let go. It's been four months and I'm still hurting. Any ideas?

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Since then she hasn't talked to me except for one nasty Im where she said no one sets rules for her and she wouldn't talk to me for six years and to hope I was happy.

 

Well... look on the bright side - only 5 years and 8 months to go. Maybe you can get a big wall calendar and mark it off?

 

Lots of people posting here are deliriously happy in relationships. It's not always their first one.

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Well... look on the bright side - only 5 years and 8 months to go. Maybe you can get a big wall calendar and mark it off?

 

Lots of people posting here are deliriously happy in relationships. It's not always their first one.

 

Not sure about the wall calender but just hang in there. your doing very well!! 4 months NC is excellent and your going in the right direction but the healing is gonna take time. I think we've all had that empty feeling when we lose the most special person in our life. Its lonley experience especially when you talked all the time like you and your ex did. Its hard to replace that but just take every day as it comes and d'ont start trying to date again till you feel ready. The thing i can't understand is how could she come up with a figure of 6 years before she wants to speak to you again? did you question her on this?

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The thing i can't understand is how could she come up with a figure of 6 years before she wants to speak to you again? did you question her on this?

 

I would say that number is just a number. I wouldnt put any bets on it.

 

Sorry to hear you going through this, but be strong.

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