Love Hurts Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 I have been pondering the move. My home is paid for. I have a 13 year old here. Her and I could relocate. The house is paid for ........... not worth a million but I could go. I have been thinking of going south.......... Warmer weather the ocean. What not. My concern is............ all of my x's family are here...... as are mine. I have no friends or family where I am considering to go..... N.C. My job here is the who cares type........... dime a dozen. No pention. That leaves me free to start over in one sense. I just don't know what the reservation would be? Yet I do feel the need to put this out here. What are the uglies that await me. If I just pick up and move onward? Please do tell. Pondering great change................................. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 13 is an awful age to be ripped away from family and friends and dumped in a new environment. Move in five years when your kid's going to college and able to handle changes better. Link to post Share on other sites
bendit Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 yep this is a time for you to think of the youngster. 13 is a really tough time to start fresh. and it doesn't sound like you have a lot of conviction either way. regards Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Depends on the 13-year-old and where you live. It can be a good time to move from a 13-year-old's point of view-- You get to meet new people beyond same old folks who've known you forever and won't let you forget it You have a chance to reinvent yourself. Thirteen is hell no matter where you do it. You might as well do it near the beach! If everyone's going to be going to a new school at that age anyway, it's a good time to go before getting settled in high school; it's a kinda levelled playing field. And you will be considering your child if you have no pension where you are. How will you support yourself after retirement? Loneliness is a big ugly. It's more of a change to move than you can imagine (I did it 6 years ago, and just now feel at home here). The culture's different. My kids adjusted terrifically after an initial rough year. They were 8 and 11 at the time. My 14-year-old said she'd move again, though, if I needed to (she'll be moving to high school in fall, so it's a natural time). But we're closer to grandparents than we were, which is nice for kids. But depending upon how old you are, you need to get settled where you'll be happy and where your child can come home and feel at home. If your extended family is nutso, a move is terrific. You can have more control over when to see everyone and on what terms. Check your divorce laws, though. Some states won't let you move out of state, depending upon your custody agreement. And parts of NC are growing, with good opportunies for jobs and owning a home that are absent in some other places in US. This opportunity won't last forever before NC beach properties become as overbuilt as everywhere else on coast. Prayers for your decision for the good of all--including you! Link to post Share on other sites
Diver012 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 I wouldnt make any rash decisions. I am in NC right now and just got dumped on. TO make matters worse, I just bought my house, and I do not know anyone here. To make them even worse still, I work with my EX. (Dont ever date somone at work). DO I want to leave. Yes. Badly. I almost walked into the Real Estate office and put my house on the market 2 weeks ago. I think you should take your time with this decision. On the other hand, sometimes a fresh start is good. You have friends and family down here, you have roots down here. Its not a bad place to live. My problem is what I do for a living, Information Technology (Computer Geek), there are not a lot of options from me to choose from. I also must consider my future outside this company. There is no future here, or atleast a very bleak one at best. Take your time with this and consider all your options. Link to post Share on other sites
AbitLost Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 My 2 cents worth 1) is your daughter really connected? Lots of friends, or very major best friend? If yes, then think long and hard about moving-- especially if she has difficulty making friends-- if she can make friends standing in line at the ice-cream store, than not as big a deal. 2) Location isn't a cure-- I went to Wyoming to work for the summer after I was divorced-- good therapy, but it wasn't "home" 3) go visit places that you might want to move-- can you afford it, what are schools like, availability of your interests... 4) explore jobs there before you move-- apply, see if you get interviews, etc. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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