Guest Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 I met this girl 2 years ago at college and we became friends. Later in that first year, we went on a trip for a week to help the disabled and I really got to know her and that was when I really started to have feelings for her. I wanted to tell her my feelings after that trip but she had just broke up with a previous boyfriend so I decided that I shouldn't tell her. Ever since then the feelings grew for her and my friends all knew about it and this had gone for over a year now. It was my birthday the other night so I went out to the clubs with my friends and she went out as well. I had my fair share of drinks and she had a couple. We sat down for a bit and she asked me; "what girl do you go for?". For the first time in my life I let my true feelings do the talking and told her that it was her. We left the clubs and went back home. So I got back home and I decided to ring her to talk about what I had told her and I told her all my feelings exposing my heart. She told me that she really liked me as a friend and I accepted it then and reassured her that our friendship wouldn't be affected and that I was glad that I had got the weight off my shoulders so to speak. The next day I felt happy that I had told her but there was another part of me that was thinking that I should have kept quiet. A couple of days later we saw each other and I wanted to speak to her about the conversation just to make sure everything was ok but I was feeling so uncomfortable that I didn't have the courage to speak to her. For the first time in my life I had spoken from the heart about my feelings rather than restricting myself. I had always been scared of rejection and I had always feared that I would lose her as a friend because of the uncomfortableness but all I want now is to remain her friend. She has become one of my closest and bestest friends and if I lost her as a friend I would be hurt even more than I am now. I have thought of telling her sorry but I don't know if that will help at all. I just don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 You have no reason for feeling sorry for opening your heart to someone...what you did was so courageous admirable and simply put beautiful. If she were your friend before she'll be your friend tomorrow. Well done you. Link to post Share on other sites
bendit Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 This generally isn't a good dynamic. its hard to be friends with someone you have deep romantic feelings for. it can confuse you and hold you back from finding someone who is available to you. there will be challenges, for example when she finds someone she loves that she wants to spend more time with. I would regularly scrutinize how you feel about this relationship to try and discover whether you really have shifted to friends or whether you are still hopeful of something more. It may be hard for you to hear her talk about the romantic relationships in her life (that's what friends are for right?), so there will be subjects that could be off limits. If you engage her in such discussions it can be emasculating and dangerous to your self esteem. My sense is you will be plagued with emotional ups and downs with this friendship. regards Link to post Share on other sites
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