charleh Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Been dealing with this for way too long and really need some help. To sum it up: Met a girl and had a relationship like no other. Strongest love I've ever felt for about 6 months.. things were great until I left for the Army. She told me our love was stronger than anything, so she would stay by my side no matter what I chose to do. She handled the seperation badly (got super depressed, resorted to drinking.. got a DUI..etc), finished basic, things got better, then bad again, better, bad, then completely shut me out. The few times we've talked since then (6 months) she has broken down crying mid conversation (without me saying anything really, just talking like we used to..) hangs up, then refuses to talk. Texts me, but completely refuses to talk. One night after I got pretty smashed, I decided to call and leave a big guilt trip message. She called back and was obviously drunk as well, said she loves "insert name here" and never wants to talk to me again. Right. Makes sense. The entire time I was in training when it was going up and down she was feeling guilty for cheating on me, but couldn't bring herself to be honest with me. I got that. Thing is, I still love her as strongly as I did when our relationship began. I haven't heard her voice in SIX MONTHS and I feel like it was just last night we were laying in bed together talking about marriage, children, etc. It's made me a mess. I try to be mature about it and not call, not bother her, but part of me thinks that I have to keep showing her I care so that we might still have a chance. Yesterday she told me she still loves me and the reason she doesn't pick up or call me is because she lives with this guy. Of course she lives with the guy, I had been thinking it for months, but her saying it hit me like a ton of bricks. Since then I've had depressive and angry mood swings and I'm sick and tired of it. I love her, I always will, but I need to find a way to channel these thoughts of her. I work out daily, I am persuing other relationships, but it seems the more I do, the more I miss her. Waking up next to another girl just kills me inside. I feel like it's never going to change either. Supposedly she feels the same way, but becomes a person she hates being when she is away from me, so wants nothing to do with me until I can be there all of the time for her. (i'm in the army right now and she's aware im going to iraq for a year soon, hearing that is one of the reasons she stopped talking to me). Being stupid as I am, I asked her if when I get back from Iraq and was in a situation where we could see eachother regularly would we have any chance of being back together, she replied "i would marry you". So, great, now I'm holding on to a thought that probably will end up burning me in the end as well. I think the best thing is to just pretend I never met and fell in love with this girl. I have had plenty of other girls persuing me, but like I said it just hurts more. What should I do to get over her and move on? What should I do to stop thinking about her? Any advice from people who had similiar occurences? Link to post Share on other sites
Diver012 Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Dated a girl for 5 months, we talked about marriage, we talked about moving in. I wont say the greatest love of my life, because each woman I have loved has been a different wonderful kind of love. She is playing head games with not only you, but with herself. She seems to have no idea what she wants and who she wants it from. I would chalk it up for what it was worth. A wonderful experience, that didnt work out in teh end. The quicker you get past this, the quicker you can find your next greatest love. I would drop it like a bad habbit. IMHO Link to post Share on other sites
Love Hurts Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 She is not strong enough to wait for you........... You are not strong enough to say we are through. Some has to speak up here............. What she is doing now with your consent is a follow through plan in the stages of wedlock .... you accept it now... and you must later. Are you ready for that insanity? If this is all you can handle................ wean off while you are away. When you get back.................... there other women in the world. You are stuck in the U.S. symbolizing her ............ Tunnel vision only allows you to focus on her as appose to the countless females the U.S. and home have to offer. Link to post Share on other sites
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