question regarding to ex's coming back

[music Man123]

Any one have an ex come back maybe a year later?

 

Tell your stories!

[Big_A]

I dated a girl in an LDR for about six months. We moved closer together and broke up about 3 months after that. We maintained a little contact and one day she decided she wanted to try again. After that we dated for about a year. The first break-up was hard on both of us, the second one I think we both realized that we just weren't right for each other.

[Guest]

Any one have an ex come back maybe a year later?

 

Tell your stories!

 

Yup, happened to me. While we were in a relationship everything was on his terms, he took me for granted, broke every promise he ever made me and generally was the worst case of 'double standards' I have ever came across.

 

So I decided to leave. He pretended he didn't care and showed me no concern when he knew I'd lost everything while also having to cope with a bereavement of a parent at the same time. He made out to be doing fine and joined internet dating sites within no time, which pretty much devastated me (the more so because when we were still together he told me I wasn't to do that if we were to split up!). I never felt so betrayed in my whole life.

 

After all that I cut him out of my life.

 

A year later, apparently having discovered the grass is not greener on the other side, he tries to get in touch with me through a friend. All of a sudden wanting to explain his rotten behaviour at the time of the split.

 

Yeah right.

 

Needless to say I let him know I wasn't interested but wished him the best.

 

Still can't believe what an incredible fool that man turned out to be.

 

Why are you asking? Thinking of getting back in touch with an ex yourself or hoping an ex will get back in touch with you?

[ElectricityCity]

Yep - I went 8 months and he started calling again, driving by my house. He dumped me. I actually let him come back (huge mistake) and now we're broken up again.

 

They always come back right when you've gotten over them. It's like they have radar.

[Brittanyjean06]

hahaha hell yeah man its been 9 months for me and the private calls are starting,

 

were tracing them by the police

 

Get that bastard in trouble!

[Brittanyjean06]

ex's are funny sometimes

[chocolate_boy]

Bizarrely I've not heard anything about my ex since feb, didn't know if she was still living here or dating etc, didn't want to know.

 

Then on saturday, I get an sms off my buddy who is in his local store and he has seen her, aparrently loads of make up and hanging off some 6ft rugby player, he texts me to let me know this, apparently she kept looking at him but didn't smile or say anything. It seriously doesn't bother me in the slightest now, good luck to her if she's happy, although I still want nothing to do with her. Then this evening our local sports team lose, and I get a group text from her saying its a shame we lost... I didn't have her number anymore but she signed it...

 

I agree why do they do s*** like this? I ignored it and deleted it instantly of course!

[Brittanyjean06]

I don't understand why they would dump you, than expect for you to never move on??? jesus people are pathetic!

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Any successful stories? I don't want to get discouraged.

[zep52]

We had split before but it didnt last long, then we split again and 3 months went by, i couldnt honestly say i was over her, i love her now as much as i did when we first met, anyhoo i was in a pub one night with friends when i sensed her, i swear to god i felt her before i saw her and i turned to the bar and there she was, my legs turned to jelly and my heart pounded but i made out i hadnt seen her,

 

She was with a friend, they got their drinks and started walking towards where i was, she saw me and stopped dead in her tracks, then went to the other end of the pub, but as the evening wore on she moved closer and closer untill she was almost stood next to me, i ignored her,

 

a couple of hours went by and then she left, but the next night my phone rang at midnight and it was her in tears, she came round, we made up and everything was great, untill last wed when she suddenly got cold feet and said she needed a two week break, so the moral is , hell i dont know loves a weird mother, hang in there if you want to, else dont and move on, im hangin in, i know she loves me, and i love her so il keep playin, after all ya got to be init to winit, duno if this ramble is of any use to ya but after 3 yrs my advice is if its worth havin its worth fighting for.

[Brittanyjean06]

Questions like that, always come down to hope!

 

Some ex's do come back later, people say if they haven't spoken to you this long they never will, but I hear stories all the time of the ex popping up

 

I guess I am still in hope to, its hard

[In Sync]

Questions like that, always come down to hope!

 

Some ex's do come back later, people say if they haven't spoken to you this long they never will, but I hear stories all the time of the ex popping up

 

I guess I am still in hope to, its hard

 

Damn when I read all these stories about ex's popping up. I begin to wonder It hasn't happened to me..something must be wrong with me that mine hasn't even sent one word. Then again, he was a scab after all.. so I need to keep reminding myself why do I would I want him to pop up?

[Brittanyjean06]

Same here

 

It's hard

 

maybe I should post" stories of ex's never coming back" so we don't hold on to hope

 

giggles

[chocolate_boy]

Same here

 

It's hard

 

maybe I should post" stories of ex's never coming back" so we don't hold on to hope

 

giggles

 

How you getting on with taking your mind off him Britt?

[Guest]

Hey its me britt! sorry I attempted to login in too many times with the wrong password!

 

Not so well choclate boy, I just look at it like this....." this is a relapse and I will get past this stage to.

 

I guess this will just take a while and the hope I have will one day vanish but for now there is nothing I can do just get my self up and do what I gotta do!

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

...something must be wrong with me that mine hasn't even sent one word.

 

No, there's something wrong with him, if he's too stupid to realize what he a great catch he lost when he left. And do you really want to be with a stupid idiot?

[Brittanyjean06]

Thanks for being so considerate chocklate boy! ( and everyone else)

 

I look at it like this C, this is a relapse...I am going to have them If i put my noise in somewhere I shoulden't . But those misleading calls drew me to my worst!

 

I will be fine, I will survive along with everyone else who survives with pain, i gotta stay strong..and I hope I have this attitude for when the pain comes along strongly again.

 

First loves suck, but I'm sure there will be others who will break my heart and sadly I hope they do just so I can know that It is attainable to love again

[Guest]

Damn when I read all these stories about ex's popping up. I begin to wonder It hasn't happened to me..something must be wrong with me that mine hasn't even sent one word. Then again, he was a scab after all.. so I need to keep reminding myself why do I would I want him to pop up?

 

Be glad he doesn't pop up. What good would it do? It might give you a temporary ego boost, but believe me, that soon fades. And it doesn't outweigh the stirring up of old emotions anyway.

 

An ex is an ex for a reason, right?

 

Most of the time it just made me realise they never took me seriously in the past and by coming back they proved they were still not taking me seriously then (I told them I didn't see any point in staying in touch).

So all in all, pretty pointless.

 

In my experience most ex's come back after some time. I've usually had them coming back after about a year, I even had one coming back after 3.5 years!

 

I don't really understand why. I think it's the ones that can't stand being ignored. Give them indifference and at some point they'll be back. Even if they are with someone else. Doh.

 

I don't know your story. How long has it been? Have you made it clear to him you don't ever want to hear from him again? In that case, be glad he takes you seriously. It means that in his view you have the upper hand (silly game playing, I know, but some people sadly resort to that).

 

As for me, I never go back. It's just easier in the long run. Maybe that's his coping strategy as well?

 

Whatever it is, I'm sure it has nothing to do with you. Having read some of your other recent posts, I wouldn't be surprised if your ex just realises you don't take any c*** from him (anymore). So why would he even try?

 

Or maybe he feels there's a reason for him to punish you?

 

Heaven knows what goes on in other people's heads ... .

[Brittanyjean06]

ex's really are unpredictable creatures

 

I always have hope, but hopefully if he did come back it would be after a while when I have completely healed..

 

I've never had to go through this before, but if there is a start than there is an end to something, always if that makes sence to any one in healing terms

 

I guess the best you can do is not have hope, and work on your self

 

lol I would love for him to come back one day when I am over him, but I bet I won't get much satisfaction out of it considering I'd be over it by than, hopefully ~

[In Sync]

Be glad he doesn't pop up. What good would it do? It might give you a temporary ego boost, but believe me, that soon fades. And it doesn't outweigh the stirring up of old emotions anyway.

 

An ex is an ex for a reason, right?

 

Most of the time it just made me realise they never took me seriously in the past and by coming back they proved they were still not taking me seriously then (I told them I didn't see any point in staying in touch).

So all in all, pretty pointless.

 

In my experience most ex's come back after some time. I've usually had them coming back after about a year, I even had one coming back after 3.5 years!

 

I don't really understand why. I think it's the ones that can't stand being ignored. Give them indifference and at some point they'll be back. Even if they are with someone else. Doh.

 

I don't know your story. How long has it been? Have you made it clear to him you don't ever want to hear from him again? In that case, be glad he takes you seriously. It means that in his view you have the upper hand (silly game playing, I know, but some people sadly resort to that).

 

As for me, I never go back. It's just easier in the long run. Maybe that's his coping strategy as well?

 

Whatever it is, I'm sure it has nothing to do with you. Having read some of your other recent posts, I wouldn't be surprised if your ex just realises you don't take any c*** from him (anymore). So why would he even try?

 

Or maybe he feels there's a reason for him to punish you?

 

Heaven knows what goes on in other people's heads ... .

 

 

Yeah..who knows is right! In a nutshell my ex disappeared after an emotion upheaval in my life, when my mom passed. I mean aside from his nitial condolences he dropped out of sight (there was a brief e-mail during the time that I was in the midst of arranging my mom's funeral that he sent me boasting about an outing he had with new friends, but no mention of geniuine concern about how I was handling things, or offer of comfort...nice guy huh?)

I think you are right though because I was realizing by then he was not this ideal person and I slowly calling him on his behavior...He was a coward in his own way so the concept of him wanting to punish me makes sense.

Yet as time has gone by. And as I am trying not to hold onto anger...it is more like bewilderment when I wonder what happened to him. I suppose it would be awkard for him to contact me now anyway..in the back of my mind he's know I know he was a coward for disappearing as he had done.

[Guest]

Yeah..who knows is right! In a nutshell my ex disappeared after an emotion upheaval in my life, when my mom passed. I mean aside from his nitial condolences he dropped out of sight (there was a brief e-mail during the time that I was in the midst of arranging my mom's funeral that he sent me boasting about an outing he had with new friends, but no mention of geniuine concern about how I was handling things, or offer of comfort...nice guy huh?)

 

Gosh ... pretty much the same thing happened to me. My ex made himself scarce under similar circumstances. Mind you, he had a habit of doing that. Even deserted his own dad when he was dying and his mum as soon as she fell ill. For some reason he just couldn't handle situations like that and would run. And he didn't even have the sense to apologise, on the contrary, made out it wasn't him that did anything wrong, but me. How do you figure that huh?

 

I think you are right though because I was realizing by then he was not this ideal person and I slowly calling him on his behavior...He was a coward in his own way so the concept of him wanting to punish me makes sense.

 

Yes. I have read somewhere that feeling guilty makes some people act badly towards the one they've let down. They are punishing the other for their own misbehaviour. Makes sense to me. Add to that a feeling of shame in combination with avoidance behaviour, and you're most likely never to hear from them again.

 

Yet as time has gone by. And as I am trying not to hold onto anger...it is more like bewilderment when I wonder what happened to him.

 

I know how hard it is to let go of the anger. Although I realise my ex probably acted out of his own inadequacy when he did what he did, I still ask myself sometimes how on earth he could have been so callous and cruel. I still want apologies sometimes, although in the end it wouldn't really matter anyway. Actions speak louder than words and what's done can not be undone.

 

When he tried to get in touch with me after a year, I felt quite insulted. Did he not realise that after something like that there was no way I would ever consider him to be a friend again? Or trust him to be there for me? Gobsmacking.

 

I know he's not doing that well. He's got all sorts of problems and the internet dating he started right after I left, didn't have the desired result. He he.

 

Guess what goes around comes around, you reap what you sow, karma, whatever you want to call it, it's true.

 

I suppose it would be awkard for him to contact me now anyway..in the back of my mind he's know I know he was a coward for disappearing as he had done.

 

He does not only know you know. He himself knows he's a coward. In the end I don't envy people like that. Imagine having to live with yourself having done something crappy like that.

 

It's also possible that he's not doing that well. He wouldn't want you to know that.

 

Just always remember, your absence says more than a thousand words ever can ... .

 

{{{{hugs}}}}