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Is this depression??


cynicalnlove

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cynicalnlove

It's been a while now since I have been coping with my ex cheating on me. I have been moving on quite nicely. I'm looking better than ever, got a promotion, and became more driven to be successful. I've had my struggles with the emotions. I've succeeded in never contacting him, but lately I've felt so curious about everything that involves him. So despite my determination to forget and move on, i made a grand mistake. I called him, and did not get reaction to what i was hoping for. I wanted him to be sorry, and because he wasn't; i became obsessed about the eternal .. why? How could he let someone so low ruin our relationship and have no sympathy or empathy towards someone he onced loved. It hurt for about a week, everything in my life wasn't functioning as well as i would have liked to. I got over the fact that he never loved me over our long relationship, but then lately I've felt so restless. My body is so exhausted and I felt as if i haven't slept in days.. yet I feel so restless. What does this mean? Is it assciated with that new profound information? If i am numb to the feelings that involved him, then why am i so tired and restless. Is it depression? Have you guys ever felt this way?

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Cynical,

 

re:

 

" Is this depression?"

 

You rule out something like depression with a professional, first.

 

Then, while you're in contact with your counselor, you decide whether or not a few sessions might benefit you in 'getting over the humps'.

 

When in doubt, error on the side of caution.

 

-Rio

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cynicalnlove
Cynical,

 

re:

 

 

 

You rule out something like depression with a professional, first.

 

Then, while you're in contact with your counselor, you decide whether or not a few sessions might benefit you in 'getting over the humps'.

 

When in doubt, error on the side of caution.

 

-Rio

 

 

well lthe thing is, i was fine until i had discovered that he cheated on me with a gorgeous wannabe model. ofcourse i couldn't help but to feel a little hurt. could that be the cause of my restlessness?

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It's been a while now since I have been coping with my ex cheating on me. I have been moving on quite nicely. I'm looking better than ever, got a promotion, and became more driven to be successful. I've had my struggles with the emotions. I've succeeded in never contacting him, but lately I've felt so curious about everything that involves him. So despite my determination to forget and move on, i made a grand mistake. I called him, and did not get reaction to what i was hoping for. I wanted him to be sorry, and because he wasn't; i became obsessed about the eternal .. why? How could he let someone so low ruin our relationship and have no sympathy or empathy towards someone he onced loved. It hurt for about a week, everything in my life wasn't functioning as well as i would have liked to. I got over the fact that he never loved me over our long relationship, but then lately I've felt so restless. My body is so exhausted and I felt as if i haven't slept in days.. yet I feel so restless. What does this mean? Is it assciated with that new profound information? If i am numb to the feelings that involved him, then why am i so tired and restless. Is it depression? Have you guys ever felt this way?

 

You found out informtion that not only hurt you deeply but the person who did delivered the blow was not giving you the closure you were looking for.

you are feeling angry because he would not take responsibility and now that anger is still lurking within you turned to guilt (feeling like you made a mistake for contacting him), so now you are blaming yourself. I have experienced unresolved hurt and without having contacted my X, I still felt the same as you had. I do personally feel it is depression, resulting from all the anger and hurt I sat on...it still bugs me that I've never spoken out or objected to how I was treated by a person whom I loved. With that said, the sooner you understand that you are hurting from his indifference and that is the worst (I know from my experience) understand that all that anger, hurt and resentment is knawing at you. That will depress you. Face your emotions, don't deny or hide you are hurting or angry because if you do, it will bring you down. And most of all, don't beat yourself up for having tried to reach out to this man...you did what you thought was best.

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dr strangelove

Cheating isnt about love its about lust

 

It isnt about you, its about them

 

Its a gift for the ego. I mean if you are going to cheat always choose someone really hot!

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cynicalnlove

you guys are right. I was extremely angry. It was just knowing the fact that how did i possibly let him get away so easily??? how did i let those people do what they do, and i left without a word. I left silently. And they both knew that what happened was wrong. She wanted my bf because i was around, she needed to know if she was better than me. What better way than to sleep with my then bf? 'He couldn't control his lust, for the sake of god - deny that conniving piece of work for the one you love. And the sad thing was - I've put up with a lot of stuff in my life, and i was just angry that someone like those people could disrespect me.. and i let them do it. If only there was a way for me to just really release my anger on them.. i'd be justified.

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Carlthecoffeeaddict

hi Cynicallove.....

 

a few things/observations to share......while im really sorry your bf has cheated on you, and you're feeling depressed from time to time, just remember that youre the one who gave your all, and you have done nothing wrong at all.....the only one you can love the most, is yourself, and your relationship with yourself is the most important.

 

don't you think that, if someone left you out of "lust", that you're better off knowing that this person is not entirely faithful due to his selfishness and lack of respect for you?

 

why bother calling this piece of s***? what "respect" does he deserve? why are you putting this POS on a pedestal? why give someone who is only after lust the respect the he doesnt deserve?

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When I found out my husband was cheating, I left , like you, without really giving him any hell about it or trying to find out what went wrong. Later, when I finally got to confront him about it, I was really frustrated to find out he felt it had turned out all for the best. That made me so MAD! After all the crap I put up with for years from him, he felt nothing but relief that I hadn't made our separation difficult. He didn't miss me or his old life, had no regrets and was pretty content. It made me feel like a total zero, that our life together had meant nothing at all. I expected him to have the same emotions that I was feeling, but I was amazed at how shallow he was. I felt much more depressed after this, I think it was tied in to how little he valued our many years together, and how quickly he got over it. Ego shock I expect.

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cynicalnlove
When I found out my husband was cheating, I left , like you, without really giving him any hell about it or trying to find out what went wrong. Later, when I finally got to confront him about it, I was really frustrated to find out he felt it had turned out all for the best. That made me so MAD! After all the crap I put up with for years from him, he felt nothing but relief that I hadn't made our separation difficult. He didn't miss me or his old life, had no regrets and was pretty content. It made me feel like a total zero, that our life together had meant nothing at all. I expected him to have the same emotions that I was feeling, but I was amazed at how shallow he was. I felt much more depressed after this, I think it was tied in to how little he valued our many years together, and how quickly he got over it. Ego shock I expect.

 

 

that sucks. yeah, i know - i guess in some way we'd hope that this person which you thought you knew carried some sort of resentment. It would've helped us to move on easier; but to know that he actually wanted it to happen without any regrets - just hurts us more. I mean, here you are giving all you have; yet they could just take whatever and trash it. I guess that's what angers me most.. how could someone you thought cared for you just toss you aside without a guilt so easily?

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