Numbheart Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 I've been reading (and sometimes replying) to many posts on NC relapses recently, and its made me ponder. I wondered if anyone else gets this? Just when your getting to a point of thinking you can deal with NC, mentaly strong enough, have prepared yourself that its the best thing to do, etc, etc, you then get either your parents or your friends ask you "have you heard from them today?"...like they almost expect them to try and get in touch, even though they know whats happened! Is it just me, or does it make you think, well blimey, if they think they may want to get in touch with me, what am I missing? Or, I never expected them to even try and now you mentioned it, its made me think even more about it now!! THANK YOU CRAPBAG! Or, I wasnt even thinking about it and now feel the need to send them a pathetic, message. Just wondered if anyone else gets this, because everytime I think I'm starting to do ok, I get the question off someone that makes me re-think everything again and question myself, my own conclusions and reasons for NC in the first place, then sometimes find myself back to square 1. Link to post Share on other sites
augustus Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 You're not alone... There are triggers all around... I just caught one today at lunch, something set me off and I staretd questioning my decision to break contact....Sometimes I think that its so rude of me not to write her back but then I try to focus on the reality of the situation...The hardest thing about NC is satying focused and keeping you're resolve...It is doable, not easy but doable... Stay strong... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Numbheart Posted May 11, 2006 Author Share Posted May 11, 2006 Thanks, I am staying strong we all have weak points or bad days, but going through today has been a real BIG turning point for me, boy do I feel more positive about everything! I've gone from muttering "Effin Bitch" to "you daft cow for losing this"....sound stupid?...maybe, but a big turnpoint for me as I now realise I am BACK BEING ME! I know I am balanced (I probably havent been through this) I know I am confident, fun to be around and have a great deal to offer, and I am now "thinking" those things again, unlike yesterday or the day before, when I always knew it, just never thinking it.....infact this evening I havent thought about her once, until I just typed this! So I know I'm fine, I've finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel. I've gone through many break ups and know when I hit this point, this one has just been much harder to hit than others, so I just hope I stay with it. However, this thread really was not about me, it was more to see if other people go through the same stuff with outside influences, no matter how strong we think we are, if your Mum or someone says to you, "why dont you try and talk to her or go and see her" I know they have your best interest at heart, and from their generation have no clue about NC, etc, but how does it make you really feel?....like you should be doing what they say,or resentment, sadness, etc, etc? Link to post Share on other sites
Big_A Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 I had this happen yesterday. I was having lunch with my grandparents. My grandfather had heard the news and said "I hear you're a little more alone then before." and then proceeded to talk about grief etc... But my grandmother hadn't heard yet (or forgot) and when she came downstairs she said "how is that wonderful girlfriend of yours?" Now I know that the ex was great before the break-up, but that really made me want to talk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
wahaha1 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Ran into a friend last month and after some chit-chating, she said "I heard xxx have got married". She was like chatting on a common topic..., and didn't think about the fact that we only broke up not long ago. Collapsed for a week after that... Link to post Share on other sites
augustus Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Went out to a bar last night and ran into a friend of the ex...She asked how I was doing...I kept it very short, told her I was keeping busy then bailed, lest she start telling me about the ex and all the wonderful new things she's doing...Regardless, it made me think again (even though I had a blast)...So today I have been thinking of her again...It will pass, if anything, I am gaining more self awareness... Link to post Share on other sites
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