lilly36 Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 This may sound stupid...but sometimes I feel embarassed that I got cheated on. It now it sounds ridiculous, but I feel like it's reflected back on my that I associated myself with someone who would do something like that. And the truth is, I was lied to and deceived, so how could I have know this person wasn't of good moral character? But still, it pains me to say it. It many ways. It hurts, it's a messed up story. And that little part of me that feels ashamed or embarrased that it happened. I guess it's one of those blow to the ego things. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 It does hurt the ego and there is no test to find out if the person is a cheater. I was cheated on and her response was "I was trying to protect your feelings" I dumped her without remorse. It may take years or some event to find out. So just follow your gut instincts and make sure that is something that is not tolerated. Don't be paranoid or controlling either. Makes it even worse. Just have faith and trust. Hard as it maybe but that is what I can say for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilly36 Posted May 4, 2006 Author Share Posted May 4, 2006 Don't you love that? "I didn't want to hurt you" and "I was trying to protect your feelings" crap. Hello, do they live in some altnernate universe where sleeping with someone else won't hurt you? What the hell did they think we were going to do? Jump for joy? Oh honey, I'm so glad you slept with someone else! It makes me so happy! If they didn't want to hurt us, then they should've had the decency to dump us before they cheated. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 From my experience, women leave the relationship long before the dumping. Sometimes they use it as an excuse to run away, be weak, etc... and make the dumper the bad person. If I ever hear that line again, I would tell the person how I feel and go from there, most likely dump the person. Link to post Share on other sites
Big_A Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 I felt like such a tool when I found out she cheated on me. We had been having trouble and I was spending almost every waking moment trying to figure out how to make her happy and she was out with someone else. I am still a little embarrassed about it. Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 Most of the time "cheating" as you refer to it may have little to do with you. The cheater in question could be -feeding their own ego -giving into sexual desires, not romantic -unsure of the person they are with currently and need to test the waters elsewhere before jumping ship or could be the person being cheated on is -to clingy -to needy -done something mean -doesnt make the person feel desired they way they wish to be -doesnt give them the attention they need Life is complicated, you cant always dump someone to be with another. Maybe you have strong sexual desires for someone u have just met, but after being with them you realize you long for the person waiting for you back home in bed. whatever...... Link to post Share on other sites
etherealism Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I don't feel embarassed. my 2nd ex cheated on me before we broke up the first time. we were together for 2.5 yrs ... stupid me took him back but then i wound up dumping him again ... he took up 5 yrs of my life. I just shake my head and say, "HE had the audacity to cheat on ME?! and with some fat chick?!" when I should have been the one to cheat on him. it seems almost ridiculous to me really. I hate to be cocky and toot my own horn, but I wouldn't consider myself unattractive by any means. and if you saw a pic of me and a pic of him, you would wonder the same thing. lol actually you might wonder why i was with him in the first place note: this isn't the ex that has me compelled to come here for support Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 "HE had the audacity to cheat on ME?! and with some fat chick?!" You know what, im getting sick to s--- of people dissing fat chicks. Agreed some of them I would have no interest in. But some have great curves. Very loving. Really sexy.. well proportioned. That reminds me of someone who once said to me " At least if you sleep with me you will be getting a real hottie. My ex cheated on me with a real dog." The person who said that to me might have been very attractive, but inside she wasnt. whatever... Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 The way I see it is if Halle Barry gets cheated on, then none of us are safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 You know what, im getting sick to s--- of people dissing fat chicks. Agreed some of them I would have no interest in. But some have great curves. Very loving. Really sexy.. well proportioned. That reminds me of someone who once said to me " At least if you sleep with me you will be getting a real hottie. My ex cheated on me with a real dog." The person who said that to me might have been very attractive, but inside she wasnt. whatever... don't read so much into things without a background. that's my stance on it now, at the time of course I was upset that the jerk cheated on me. it has nothing to do with "what could he possibly see in that fat chick he cheated on me with". I never met the girl nor have I seen her. his brother was the one who told me "he cheated on you with some fat chick". for all I know she could be a size 8 or size 18. we were making plans for a future and he threw that out by getting drunk and sleeping with her. in retrospect, I view it as HE had the audacity to cheat on me (with ANYBODY), when I could do better than that jerk ... and I have. and I wouldn't say that I am dissing fat chicks. I don't look at anybody larger than a size 6 in disgust. that would be an insult to one of my bestest friends who is obese you make me sound as if I'm labeling myself as some sort of hottie bicardi bar slut who's been super skinny her entire life. I gained weight in college reaching double digit sizes. now i'm a size 0-2 and plan to stay there. I know what it is like to be self-conscious about weight or to grab the largest size possible out of habit to hide yourself. don't make me out to be an insensitive prick. so whatever Link to post Share on other sites
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