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She misses me.. ?


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Okay so, my girlfriend and I broke up a while ago and I made a post about it.. basically we broke up, I still loved her and she still loved me, but after about a month she couldn't say 'I love you' anymore, and was now with my best friend. I still love her and it used to kill me seeing them together, and it still has it's effect.

 

We go to the same school, but I've done NC as much as I can. Short convo's, acting like I didn't see her, etc. I'm doing this to move on and let her move on.

 

But a few days ago, she invited me - not her new boyfriend - to her younger sister's birthday. At first, I didn't even think about going. Why give her the right to talk to me after what she's done - and knew it hurt me?

Then I felt bad for her younger sister and her family - if I didn't go I would feel bad for not showing up for them. So I was going to bring her present, talk to her family, and then leave.

 

But then I wanted to know how she felt. I arrived and I was going to do my present, talk, leave plan, but she was inclined to talk to me. We sat down and she gave me a letter. It described how she misses me so much and all the memories we had together that she can't let go.

 

Yet she says she doesn't know if she loves me or not. She said she's going to break up with her new boyfriend to work things out between us because it's 'so important to her'. So we talked and laughed and we were fine with things. She understood that after this day, we wouldn't be able to though as I need to get to a point where I'm okay being her friend - if I ever reach that point.

 

But - yes, but - her boyfriend calls while she's away. She tells me she doesn't want to be rude, so she wants to answer it quickly. I didn't want to be rude or selfish, I said it was 'fine, I guess'.

But then I started to think. Here I am, only been here for a couple hours, while she's been with her boyfriend for almost a month and haven't talked to me. She ends up on the phone for about 30 minutes with him. Her family was busy so I was just sitting there alone for that time. I felt horrible - here's time she could be spending with me, but she's off talking to her boyfriend. Can't she just wait until I leave? (mind you that would have been only about an hour later)

So she comes back and asks me what was wrong, and I just asked her why she had me come if she was just going to talk to her boyfriend - who she's taking time off of I guess? - when I'm right there.

So since things ended badly and she was sad that she ruined things with us, in her eyes, I feel like I should call her. Should I?

What should I do about this situation?

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Okay so, my girlfriend and I broke up a while ago and I made a post about it.. basically we broke up, I still loved her and she still loved me, but after about a month she couldn't say 'I love you' anymore, and was now with my best friend. I still love her and it used to kill me seeing them together, and it still has it's effect.

 

We go to the same school, but I've done NC as much as I can. Short convo's, acting like I didn't see her, etc. I'm doing this to move on and let her move on.

 

But a few days ago, she invited me - not her new boyfriend - to her younger sister's birthday. At first, I didn't even think about going. Why give her the right to talk to me after what she's done - and knew it hurt me?

Then I felt bad for her younger sister and her family - if I didn't go I would feel bad for not showing up for them. So I was going to bring her present, talk to her family, and then leave.

 

But then I wanted to know how she felt. I arrived and I was going to do my present, talk, leave plan, but she was inclined to talk to me. We sat down and she gave me a letter. It described how she misses me so much and all the memories we had together that she can't let go.

 

Yet she says she doesn't know if she loves me or not. She said she's going to break up with her new boyfriend to work things out between us because it's 'so important to her'. So we talked and laughed and we were fine with things. She understood that after this day, we wouldn't be able to though as I need to get to a point where I'm okay being her friend - if I ever reach that point.

 

But - yes, but - her boyfriend calls while she's away. She tells me she doesn't want to be rude, so she wants to answer it quickly. I didn't want to be rude or selfish, I said it was 'fine, I guess'.

But then I started to think. Here I am, only been here for a couple hours, while she's been with her boyfriend for almost a month and haven't talked to me. She ends up on the phone for about 30 minutes with him. Her family was busy so I was just sitting there alone for that time. I felt horrible - here's time she could be spending with me, but she's off talking to her boyfriend. Can't she just wait until I leave? (mind you that would have been only about an hour later)

So she comes back and asks me what was wrong, and I just asked her why she had me come if she was just going to talk to her boyfriend - who she's taking time off of I guess? - when I'm right there.

So since things ended badly and she was sad that she ruined things with us, in her eyes, I feel like I should call her. Should I?

What should I do about this situation?

 

 

OKaayyyyyy.....I'm going to say that just based on what you dscribed there's a level of immaturity going on here. I'm not sure how old she is but I'll cut some slack if we are talking about someone in high school. If this is not the case then I ask you? Why put up with this? You are getting in the middle of a no win situation. A triangle. So now she's going to dump her bf and you are going to wait around for her to do so and on top of that wait to see how she feels about you. Move on. Accept that she is sorry with grace but Let this go, before you get your heart dragged through the mud..again.

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Zeppelin456

I think I disagree with that. yes, it seems like she's unsure and and yes you do need to be careful that you don't get used the wrong way, but god, it seems like she wants you back. if she really decides that she is going to dump the other guy (which could mean bad things for your probably already-strained relationship with him) and take you back, then I say go for it. isn't that what everyone really wants here anyways?

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Going for it and trying to resume a relationship that has ended is one thing...but take in consideration your own vulnerability and the blatant behavior of the other, particularly in the manner the ex broke the relationship. Sure we all want to get back with the ones who ended it...but ask yourself if that is out of the emotional anxiety of having been dumped. None of like the painful feelings of being rejected by someone we loved...only now is the time to reflect and see ok how much of it was me loving or being dependent. I can give him/her a chance but what situation am I walking back into. From the scenario you described, Never, it was obvious her "behavior" gabbing on the phone with the bf (your friend did you say?!) while you were waiting for her was awkward and to say the least exposing you to being a sucker to her whim. If she broke it off to be with your friend (that speaks volumes already) and now she's willing to do that to him to get back with you (and she's talking with him while you are there..waiting?!!) Please think highly of yourself and 'wait' for a girl..uh hmm..a woman to treat you with love and respect you deserve. Getting back is one thing...getting back with her in a desparate state is another.

I think we all come here to cope after a breakup and learn how to heal. We ask advise to handle how to cope..sometimes we may be in a confused and conflicted state and others shed light on what may not be obvious to us when our hearts are broken.

It's easier to tell everyone here who is hurting what they want to hear break NC go contact that bf/gf, the one you are hurting over. BUT when a person is conflicted or troubled usually there is more going on underneathe that maybe breaking NC is not always the best route.

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I can completely understand what you mean. I'll tell you what happened:

Well I felt bad for how I ended the day with her, so I called her cell phone. No answer. Called her home phone - busy. She only doesn't answer her cellphone when I call when she's talking to him.

Surely enough she calls back and yes, she was talking to him. I said what I needed to say - I apologized for reacting differently and I feel as though I shouldn't really hang on to everything she says she's going to do. She said that what she's doing isn't even for me. Yes, it helps my pain lessen which she wants, but moreso she wants to stop having to think of me when she's with him - or she wants to see if there's a reason - maybe she still likes me.

Well I told her I'm going to try to move on until she's sure she can do this; but until then I don't feel as though I can have her in my life.

And yes, we are talking about a highschool relationship; I apologize for my lack of knowledge about it; we were eachother's first true love.

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I can completely understand what you mean. I'll tell you what happened:

Well I felt bad for how I ended the day with her, so I called her cell phone. No answer. Called her home phone - busy. She only doesn't answer her cellphone when I call when she's talking to him.

Surely enough she calls back and yes, she was talking to him. I said what I needed to say - I apologized for reacting differently and I feel as though I shouldn't really hang on to everything she says she's going to do. She said that what she's doing isn't even for me. Yes, it helps my pain lessen which she wants, but moreso she wants to stop having to think of me when she's with him - or she wants to see if there's a reason - maybe she still likes me.

Well I told her I'm going to try to move on until she's sure she can do this; but until then I don't feel as though I can have her in my life.

And yes, we are talking about a highschool relationship; I apologize for my lack of knowledge about it; we were eachother's first true love.

 

And as I said I cut you some slack on if this were a case that the relationship were of those in highschool...meaning you are both young and the behavior is not uncommon in those who are experiencing first loves. So in a way this is experience is not a bad one but a growing one. She is learning about herself and love and all the confusion that goes with it and you are learning about the hard knocks and bouncing back. Rejection-Heartache-Recovery (No one escapes these lessons) There's more to come of this down the line and so with this being said. Give each other space (YES NC)...breathing room and later on...as time goes by you may one day get together and really see if you have another chance. Or you can look at each other warmly and remain friends...

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