shelters Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 The last two weeks (since NC) I've been doing pretty well and the vacation from the constant sadness of the weeks prior to that was a welcome reprieve. Yesterday was a significant day for my ex and me. I had that small part of my heart that was hoping for the fantasy (ex reaching out to contact me) despite the larger part of myself that was/is firmly planted in reality. Reality won over fantasy, so no contact was received by him. Here I am, back to where I can't sleep the whole night through, lump in my throat, eyes filled with tears, and playing that f***ing 'what if' game. Don't do this! It sucks! So now I'm up out of bed, watching tv, surfing the net- anything to stop my brain from making me feel worse by replaying the relationship. Hey, at least it is the weekend and I can sleep in tomorrow as long as I'd like. Link to post Share on other sites
the_alchemyst Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 I'm sorry you are having troubles sleeping tonight, Shel. I have insomnia, so I tend to get little sleep on a nightly basis, anyway, but when it is because my mind is just replaying my past relationship, and trying to figure out the beginnings and end of it--ugh! It is so devastating for the mind and heart! You get so restless that it's impossible to stay in bed, even. But you know, I think that sometimes, drinking a cup of coffee or tea while thinking about these things consciously, rather than your subconscious pulling them up while you are trying to block them out, is good. It's good to have a night every now and then where you just cry--it's a form of relief. It may be awful at the time being, but after you've experienced some form of outlet, you feel a little relief. At least, you should. If nothing else, use the privacy and fun the night brings--go out for a drive and a cup of coffee and try to relax a little. Too bad the weather is crummy right now, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shelters Posted April 29, 2006 Author Share Posted April 29, 2006 I think that sometimes, drinking a cup of coffee or tea while thinking about these things consciously, rather than your subconscious pulling them up while you are trying to block them out, is good. It's good to have a night every now and then where you just cry--it's a form of relief. It may be awful at the time being, but after you've experienced some form of outlet, you feel a little relief. At least, you should. Awesome point and verrry true. *sips her hot chocolate* Link to post Share on other sites
visotech Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 If you have the time and are able to get out, do something that will tire you out. Im usually a night owl, but the first week of my breakup almost every day I took a long walk/hike at the beach - that way I had some time to reflect and I tired myself out. It seems like sleep is better therapy then sitting here and thinking about things at 3am...I wish I had gone to the beach again.. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Wow- I should have gotten up last night and gotten on this thread. I thought about it. I had a wicked bad dream (not about my ex though) and woke up. IN my mind, my immediate reaction was still to go to him for comfort about it, but then I realized he wouldn;t be there in the morning for me to call and get it. IN the middle of the night this all hurts the worst. Stay tough, Shel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shelters Posted April 30, 2006 Author Share Posted April 30, 2006 Thanks for all the responses. Walking out on the beach is very doable and is a great suggestion. Just listening to the sound of the ocean. Love it. Today has been a lot better for me. I guess I needed a good cry & time to myself. I let the thoughts play out in my head Friday night through til yesterday. Most of them started off with him returning (of course)... but the sadness quickly follows when I realize that all the issues we had prior to the break-up would still be there waiting for us. I can't even make the statement, "I wish he would have a change of heart and decide to try us out again," because truth is, I'm not sure if *I* would be strong enough. One day at a time... Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 I can't even make the statement, "I wish he would have a change of heart and decide to try us out again," because truth is, I'm not sure if *I* would be strong enough. You're SOOOOO right. I feel exactly the same. Which is the most confusing and hard part. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shelters Posted April 30, 2006 Author Share Posted April 30, 2006 Which is the most confusing and hard part. Yes. (sigh) Link to post Share on other sites
Ginarose Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I suggest reading a good book , this is what helps me escape from replaying the breakup images in my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
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