Need help coping...

[Lonely in Ireland]

Me and my ex have been together for 6 1/2 years.

Got a house, that I bought and am paying for about 4 years ago, just before we had our daughter. She's now 3.

 

Things havent been good for a while. We told eachother all the time we loved eachother but the fighting between us was bad. Im only 24 now and she's 22. I think the fighting was all stupid fighting e.g. I come home from work questioning her why has she sat on her ass all day and the dinner aint on or the house is all messed up etc. Think the financial strain was too much as well as everything was kinda rushed.

 

Anyway, in October past, we split up and within 2 weeks, she was already involved in her 1st one night stand. 2 weeks after that, was her 2nd one night stand. I was gutted.

 

Start of December, she had a bad argument with her Dad, who she was living with at the time and phoned me at 6am, again Drunk. 3 months had passed and I was trying to move on, so I myself had a drunken 1 night stand in my bed (the 1st since we split).

 

I told my ex on the phone that I cant talk right now as I have company here. 10 mins later, just after I climbed back into bed, she burst through my front door and charged up the stairs. She wanted to get at this girl and beat her up. Anyway, I calmed her down after 2 hours, took her into my kitchen while the other girl snook out the door.

 

Anyway, after about 3 hours of talkin, we ended up kissing and 1 thing lead to another and we spoke about giving things another go.

 

3 weeks later, (her birthday, my daughters birthday and christmas had passed and I had spent a fortune on her), I accuse her of txting a guy. Part of the things we talked about when getting back together (to build up trust) is that our phones are there to be checked at any time. She wouldnt let me see it and I begged her for over an hour. I know her well and i knew she was definitely hiding something so I wasnt gonna put myself through any more torture and told her to move out asap.

 

Next day, I called to her new place and wanted to talk. I asked to see her phone which she quickly obliged. Her messages and calls were cleared but just as I was giving the phone back, she got a txt msg which i checked and it was a guy asking if she wanted to go out for a drink. I called her a lying bitch and walked out. A week later, she admits she's now going out with this guy.

 

I done my best to stay, devasting as it was and only txted her when i wanted to speak or see my daughter who she lets me have on a weekend night only (when she goes out). I thought I was coping ok considering the circumstances and then last friday at 3am I get a call from her. She's in her new flat, my daughter is in bed sleeping and her bf is in "another room". She tells me that she wants to be my friend, she respects me very much and will always love me. Now thats f**ked me up.

 

Then 2nite, she tells me that "Im screwing all these girls" which is untrue as I dont feel ready to move on as its only been 5 weeks since we split. I reply back with, who are you to talk, ur screwing ur bf! to which she replies, "yeah, but thats none of my business".

 

I know im better off without this witch but I still really love her and miss her but really hate her at the same time.

 

Its pretty awkward cos she lives only a mile away and we need to keep in touch regarding my daughter.

 

Tonight, we had an argument. I was meant to be having my daughter overnite. She then told me that until I start being nice to her, Im not gonna see her. I told her I didnt give a **** about her (my ex, not my daughter), I only wanted to be in contact if it was about my daughter. She kept telling me that until i spoke to her friendly, I wasnt gonna see her.

 

How do I cope with all this? I cant help thinking, there's only 1 way to end this andit involves about 20 packets of prescription drugs