honeybunch2k5 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Does anyone else ever wonder what the point of dating? It seems like the right people aren't finding each other. Like I see on TV all the time where a young girl dumps a guy who is head over heels for her because she must find herself or a guy toys with a girls feelings. I feel like sometimes I'm one of those people who are not meant to date. I'm young, but so far it seems as though I find someone once every four years, and the result is the same. He says something like,"Oh, you'll be better off without me,' or ," I don't want a gf now, it's not you.":rolleyes: I love to do sweet things for a guy like buying gifts just because but I get burnt in return. Link to post Share on other sites
WeaknPowerless Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 I know what you mean. I was just cooking a snack and thinking about things. I am currently annoyed that someone would reject another when they say they love them and all the important things a couple should say, and they know that I was honest, caring, completely and utterly devoted with no chance of betrayal or disloyalty. How often do you find someone like this? I thought I had, and I know I was giving that to her. Even now, I still picture myself and her, a couple like everyone said they saw us as. What's the point of doing it all again (when I finally can muster the effort mind you)? I try and not be the nice guy. I try and not care, but its not me. Where's my loyal, honest, loving girl? She WAS the one that doesn't come home anymore. Maybe it's time for that person to find me I guess, I know what I bring to the table. Link to post Share on other sites
7on Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Yeah, I probably don't know what most of you guys mean seeing that I've only had one date in my life but I can say that I don't enjoy it much. I did enjoy the time I spent with her (if I wasn't so nervous) but dates are scary things. I wish it were more accptable in our culture to walk up to someone and say "I like you" and the other person can say "I like you too" or "I don't like you." I hate the game and trying to interpret if the other person's motives are sincere or not. To try and "read between the lines" if you will. It almost feels that I'm lying everytime I don't say "I like you and I hope you like me." sigh Oh well, I suppose it could be worse. I did manage to have 2 chats with other females and that got my mind off "her." Of course I spotted one's ulterior motives almost immediately and brought up that I had a date this weekend that was cancelled because she had something to do. sigh games. I've considered mail order brides before to end all the games, but I don't think that'd work too well either. Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Yes, sometimes relationships do seem like more trouble than they are worth. I read lots of message boards and it seems a whole lot of people are really miserable Link to post Share on other sites
Jools Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 When you meet the right person it can be something really special but it does seem that most of the time trying to find that someone is a lot of hassle that just seems to hurt. And even when you find that someone, things can go wrong, and because its someone special, it hurts 10 times more than normal. Thats the situation i'm in, i love her dearly and she has feelings for me too however she's got a boyfriend. So here i am, just taking each painful day at a time, hoping that the next day or the next will be the day i can be with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Thats what I've been thinking about lately. It seems like, I keep moving forward but I'm NOT going anywhere! The few chances I meet elligiable men, we never make it past 2 conversations. Not a match there. Then the guys I eye out, the ones I can actually see myself with, I can't have them, its either they're taken or not available. Why oh why is it frustrating? I've started to wonder, why hasn't my man shown up by now! Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 would it help to see dating as a process of elimination, rather than rejection? maybe not. i think after a while dating just sux. there are lots of people who really enjoy it, but i agree, there's a lot of miserable dating people too. maybe cultures that do arranged marriages and actively matchmake have a good point. it's a bit like bride or groom shopping, but there's a whole lot less pain involved. i have an Afghan friend who was matched up and they fell totally and wonderfully in love and have a happy marriage. i also know of others where it has also worked very well. Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 My personal take on starting any new relationship (and this is a result from going through the disappointment of a devastating heartbreak and the long road to healing)...I think I learned that there is a balance between giving of myself and immersing myself in a relationship and maintaining my sense of self. I think I became so disappointed because I looked for my X to bring me complete happiness in the relationship..that I neglected my own thinking and wishes..all for the sake of proving how much I loved him. It's possible to love and have a healthy sense of my own ego. Had I not viewed my X as my sole source of hapiness perhaps I could have handled the breakup with a healthier outlook and not looked as all or nothing bleakness. One thing is for sure is not to follow Hollywood's perception of relationship as what is ideal for me. What's on television or film..that's made up hollywood fiction. (and I'm an actress) Being happy and contented with myself is the foundation to a loving relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
JosiePosie Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 I agree with In Sync, it is a conclusion that I have seen for myself as well. If I did not totally immerse myself in my past relationship, it wouldn't be as tough to heal from. Link to post Share on other sites
Butterflying Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 But we should not be discouraged about dating based on the stories we read here on LS. Think about it, the only time we post on here is when we are sad, confused, uncertain, angry, lonely, ect. Rarely does anyone post when they are secure and happy. Actually, when I'm happy, I try to share my happiness by responding to other peoples post to give them advice. But later, I find myself in their postion and they end up giving me advice. I believe if I ever were happily in love, I wouldn't have time to be on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
MatchstickFear Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 biologically speaking - we date to check out what's available - and to pick the perfect match to pass our genes off too. The "right person" relationship usually ends within 4 years (or should), because this is how long it takes to birth offspring, and continue with your gene-passing conquests. (whether or not you've had children...) Humans, by nature, are not truly "monogamous" ... this is something that takes hard work and dedication. such a happy thought, yeah? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts