LondonBoy Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I don't know what to do - my girlfriend of four years left me a month before Christmas, and I feel that I'm coping well emotionally with the loss, and eager to move on and form new relationships. However, she owes me a not inconsiderable sum of money and I feel that it is only fair that she should repay me. I have asked her a number of times and have been very reasonable in how I have asked her to repay me: I have offered for her to repay me in instalments over the forthcoming months at whatever schedule she finds fair - she is reasonably affluent and would have no problems in repaying me in one lump sum. The problem is, she absolutely refuses to return my phone calls, text messages, and emails. I am not exactly hounding her but I am only looking for what is rightfully mine to be returned. But I'm finding that the stress of all of this is upsetting me considerably. Does anyone have any suggestions about a sensible course to take? Should I just write the debt off? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted February 12, 2006 Senior Moderators Share Posted February 12, 2006 Oddly, writing the debt off and forgetting about this lady will be the best thing you could do for yourself and the worst thing for her. She is using this debt as her passive agressive style of getting back at you for whatever angered her into leaving you. You may have torked her off somehow. Many people who are angry will use whatever means are at their disposal to get back at people they have a bone to pick with. Another thing to consider, she may have just been around to get money and other things from you, an obviously very generous guy. Once she got everything she wanted from you, she was off to find another victim. Consider getting a promissory note the next time you loan money to anybody, even a girlfriend. Tell her your accountant insists on it in order to reconcile your financial statement. If anybody balks at signing, they have no intentions of paying you back. Let this go and move on. That will be the best revenge...not giving her the satisfaction that she has gotten to you. Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Yes, forget about it so you can heal more quickly and move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
THX2000 Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 I don't know what to do - my girlfriend of four years left me a month before Christmas, and I feel that I'm coping well emotionally with the loss, and eager to move on and form new relationships. However, she owes me a not inconsiderable sum of money and I feel that it is only fair that she should repay me. I have asked her a number of times and have been very reasonable in how I have asked her to repay me: I have offered for her to repay me in instalments over the forthcoming months at whatever schedule she finds fair - she is reasonably affluent and would have no problems in repaying me in one lump sum. The problem is, she absolutely refuses to return my phone calls, text messages, and emails. I am not exactly hounding her but I am only looking for what is rightfully mine to be returned. But I'm finding that the stress of all of this is upsetting me considerably. Does anyone have any suggestions about a sensible course to take? Should I just write the debt off? Sounds oh so familiar to my situation. I was taken for over $10000 by my ex and she agreed to pay back $3000.00 in a promissary note. Once she signed the note she left then showed back up 30 minutes later with her parents who demanded I return the note and leave her alone (although I had not contacted her and she was the one cheating on me for the last 6 months of being together). She also has a considerable amount of my things that she refuses to return and now says "I gave them to her". I agree that the easiest thing to do would be to walk away and forget her and move on with my life. However, remove the relationship from the equation and you wouldn't let anyone else do that to you right? That said it's only fair that money lent to the person should be repaid and personal possessions returned to their rightful owner. In my case we are in the midst of beginning to fight this out in court because she just refuses to acknowledge that she is in the wrong here despite having the note and PROOF that she owes me the money. She says that I am just being vindictive and trying to punish her for cheating on me. It's a catch 22 and even if you eventually get the money back you really don't win. My biggest thing is making her be responsible for ripping me off - it's only fair. People can't go through life doing stuff like this and just walk away when the **** hits the fan leaving someone else holding the bag. Link to post Share on other sites
latefragment Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 My ex owes me $$$$ too (no small amount, especially because I am not Ms. Moneybags). Because I am still hurting I find it difficult to bring it up with him, but I need this money back. Sucks. I've learned a big lesson. Don't lend your bf money if you have any clue. I can't wait for the pain to go away. Link to post Share on other sites
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