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DogBrain

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I've been visiting here for some time - dealing with the same sorts of things y'all are dealing with.

 

It's been 20 years since I fell in love, so when it happened this time the high was higher, the joy was more profound... at least it seemed that way.

 

Doesn't matter what the reasons are when something good ends. It hurts. You crumple.

 

It took me a long, long time - lots of feeling sorry for myself. Lots of resolve to be OK.

 

But no matter what you say or think or do - facing and going through strong emotions, good or bad, is the only way to grow.

 

One day I realized that I'm still me. I have the same capacity for love that I did before all this happened. Love may happen to me again, but the years are really speeding up (I'm 56)... funny how one's perspective changes. I used to think all this stuff was silly - now I'm seeing the error of my ways... nevertheless, there is no reason why it can't happen again.

 

After all this time I see now that what was behind all of that seemingly interminable pain was unrealistic expectations on my part. True, at the time, I though I was being saved, that I was being rewarded for something. That's a stupid way to think. The world only revolves around itself and the sun - never around me - or her - or you.

 

Things happen. Two people can fall in love. I still think it's weird as hell (again from my perspective) for folks to abandon incredible connections in favor of a career or a goal. After all, each of us is locked inside our skulls and the only real meaning we have in life is what we build in relationships - not what other people do TO us.

 

But the truth is... living in the past is insanity. Expecting the future to turn out how we want is equally insane. We all live a millisecond behind the moment and now is all that ever matters. Life is chaos. We imagine structure (this was supposed to happen), we pretend to be in control (next week we'll love each other even more), we dream of perfection (has there ever been a love as fine as ours).

 

So I'm done with it all.

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fomerlyniceguy

Sometimes I believe you can not enjoy anything completely until it is lost. Only until have you've lost everything can you appreciate it with every fiber of your being. Once that has happen you can enjoy the here and now. Yesterday and tomorrow don't exist. Your only comfort can come from enjoying the fraction of time you occupy right this second. I have loved and lost, and I will love again. Yet I can't speculate with who or when that might happen because with every fleeting second of my life it can change. In the end I hope I can look back with gratitude for every single minute that made up my life.

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But the truth is... living in the past is insanity. Expecting the future to turn out how we want is equally insane. We all live a millisecond behind the moment and now is all that ever matters.

 

I think we all live in the moment physically but not mentally.

Most people live in the past or create their self identity with their past "my story"and are trying so hard to get to "the future" for salvation "in the future I will be happy or meet that perfect person".When you live like this you miss the only moment that there is "the now".The future is made up of this moment there will never be any other moment than this moment but people live their lives looking for future for hapiness or creating anxiety over their past and that is insanity.

 

Eckhart Tolle is brilliant and I would recommend his teachings to anyone who agrees with what I wrote, its all based on his enlightenment teachings.

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DogBrain,

 

RE:

 

We all live a millisecond behind the moment

 

-meaning it (whatever 'it' you choose) HAS happened just that millisecond prior to our mental grasping.

 

(i.e. realization)

 

And realization only happens when you look at past events.

 

Even for a millisecond.

 

(Smile)

 

RE:

 

But the truth is... living in the past is insanity

 

Living in the past IN HOPES of miraculously going back, wiping the slate clean and UNDOING it is insane.

 

Looking back and asking "What if"?, however, is how we often end up doing the next best thing, -applying our newly learned lessons to our future, instead.

 

RE:

 

Expecting the future to turn out how we want is equally insane.

 

Our hopes and expectations have both the power to inspire us and crush us, but it would only be insane to try to live without them.

 

RE:

 

now is all that ever matters.

 

Agreed.

 

As selfish and near-sighted as it first appears, it is true.

 

Why?

 

Because it is where conscious thought is processed from both your past AND your future, as well as your 'now'.

 

'Now' is the superior link.

 

Your Past must get permission from Now to be recognized and dealt with.

 

Without Now, your Future would not receive the blessing of hope.

 

 

This isn't so confusing if you think through it.

 

I swear I wasn't smoking anything.

 

(Smile)

 

-Rio

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Our hopes and expectations have both the power to inspire us and crush us, but it would only be insane to try to live without them.

 

Why would it be insane to live without them?.You don't have to live without hope but really hope is an illusion of future that is non existent so just acknowledge it for what it is.... nothing.If you live your life always hoping for this or that you are missing the now and living for future "I hope I make it one day" is completely insane you never will unless you do something in the "now".

 

Expectation is another manifestation of future if you expect something to happen you are living again for future and missing the now.

 

So if you live without something that could potentially crush us(which is just another way of saying creating "dread and anxiety")why is that insane?

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Scobro:

 

ANSWER:

 

Our Past, Present, and Future each create a unique equilibrium which promotes the ability to create a healthy, stable well-being.

 

Our Past stores our EXPERIENCE; Our 'Future', -our Hopes and Expectations, (both rational & unrational).

 

Our 'Now' (the Present) is the living, breathing POWERHOUSE & CENTRAL HEADQUARTERS where we process the VALUE of our EXPERIENCE, EXPECTATION and HOPE, and make decisions (both wise and unwise, rational and unrational, healthy and unhealthy), which someday become the total sum of our lives.

 

But aside from all this philosophy, -I still believe that love is the ruling emotion (located in the 'Powerhouse', by the way) -and the most important thing to live for, -the most important to get, to give, to feel.

 

And damn the torpedoes, (again)!

 

(Smile)

 

-Rio

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Our Past, Present, and Future each create a unique equilibrium which promotes the ability to create a healthy, stable well-being.

 

Sorry I disagree because the future has not happened and never will you can never be in the future it doesn't exist only in the now.Your life can never be other than right now present.So to me saying Past, Present and Future create an equilibrium isn't always true what about post traumatic stress disorder or people who have had dreadful past that effects their present state of mind they are not on an equalibrium at all and sure are not stable.I see where you are coming from and it's an interesting perspective but I just don't agree with it.Past is done gone forever and future doesn't exist , have you been there?;)

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Scobro,

 

RE:

 

Past is done gone forever and future doesn't exist , have you been there?

Only in my dreams.

 

Which I treasure.

 

And my Past comes to haunt me, sometimes.

 

-Rio

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