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Are Relationships The New Arena For Battling Inner Demons?


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Old 8th December 2005, 12:10 PM   #1
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Are Relationships The New Arena For Battling Inner Demons?

I'm getting the feeling that when you get involved with ANYONE you almost need to have a PHD in psychiatry just to fend off an unexpected attack. Really, you have to be on guard for all sorts of behavior or you become the victim of someone else's inner issues, a.k.a. demons. Not only are the breakups and what lead to it revealing of the ex's issues but then the issues we have ignored within ourselves rear their ugly heads and need to be dealt with at the same time.

It's enough to have to constantly jockey for position and stay afloat career wise but the romantic illusions I've used to judge someone as potential "he's the real deal" that's out the window. "Everybody is what they do...not what they say."
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Old 8th December 2005, 1:00 PM   #2
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I agree

I think ur right because I've realized a lot of things about myself since breaking up with my girlfriend. I have a lot of inner demons that have come out really badly lately. I don't know what it is about breakups that can bring out the good in some people but can bring out the very worst in others. I just sometimes don't even know who I am anymore when I get the way I do. Yesterday I just had so much anger and rage about my ex that I just came out in ways that I didn't even think were possible.
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Old 8th December 2005, 1:37 PM   #3
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How can knowing, ie realizing you have inner demons be a BAD thing? No seriously? Only bad thing that can happen is that you ignore them, and not fight them head on.

Yes, ignorance is bliss. I sometimes think that way too. But if not to grow, then why the hell are we here on this earth?
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Old 8th December 2005, 1:38 PM   #4
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Quote:
I'm getting the feeling that when you get involved with ANYONE you almost need to have a PHD in psychiatry just to fend off an unexpected attack. Really, you have to be on guard for all sorts of behavior or you become the victim of someone else's inner issues, a.k.a. demons.
You got that right. A lot of people have issues. Many of them have BIG issues. And you often don't see the issues for quite a long time. It's a jungle out there..
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Old 8th December 2005, 1:40 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by In Sync
"Everybody is what they do...not what they say."
Damn right!
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Old 8th December 2005, 1:41 PM   #6
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I'm getting the feeling that when you get involved with ANYONE you almost need to have a PHD in psychiatry just to fend off an unexpected attack. Really, you have to be on guard for all sorts of behavior or you become the victim of someone else's inner issues, a.k.a. demons.
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Originally Posted by Outcast
You got that right. A lot of people have issues. Many of them have BIG issues. And you often don't see the issues for quite a long time. It's a jungle out there..
there is so much truth in this it's painful.

I think if people weren't so he!! bent on playing games these issues would come out sooner and incompatability will become more obvious. Dating is all about who's issues yours are compatable with.
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Old 8th December 2005, 2:13 PM   #7
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Dating is all about who's issues yours are compatable with.
Matching luggage?
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Old 8th December 2005, 2:48 PM   #8
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I think if people weren't so he!! bent on playing games these issues would come out sooner and incompatability will become more obvious.
People want to be loved. Some - probably many are in denial about their flaws. Others may consciously hide their flaws in hope of being loved. It's sadder than it is annoying, really.
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Old 8th December 2005, 3:00 PM   #9
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I Agree

Quote:
Originally Posted by jacked17
I think ur right because I've realized a lot of things about myself since breaking up with my girlfriend. I have a lot of inner demons that have come out really badly lately. I don't know what it is about breakups that can bring out the good in some people but can bring out the very worst in others. I just sometimes don't even know who I am anymore when I get the way I do. Yesterday I just had so much anger and rage about my ex that I just came out in ways that I didn't even think were possible.
I have always carried certain issues in my life but wasn't willing to deal with them. And it has affected the way I behave within relationships. Ever since the break up in September, I have had no choice but to deal with them in order to be emotionally well. The way I feel right now, I am SCARED TO DEATH of what needs to be done, and of the unknown.

I met someone over the weekend and he is very interested in seeing and getting to know me. He is nice but I am scared to death as it means that it is another nail to the coffin of my last relationship. I still love my ex and think about him all the time. He hasn't called and I am left with the realization that it is truly over. The grief is overwhelming at times. The Christmas holidays is not making it any easier...I wish it was January already.
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Old 8th December 2005, 11:13 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by omegaRED
How can knowing, ie realizing you have inner demons be a BAD thing? No seriously? Only bad thing that can happen is that you ignore them, and not fight them head on.

Yes, ignorance is bliss. I sometimes think that way too. But if not to grow, then why the hell are we here on this earth?
Being aware of your own inner demons isa good thing. But along the way of confronting my demons and coming face to face with my ex's demons. This breakup certainly took away the rosey image that l carried with me about falling in love...it's rather sad that in relationships something that should bring out the best in us, gets all F**K'd up with the b.s and the unresolved baggage filled with insecuries, anger, jelousy, fights.
After everything that I've read here..it's virtually impossible to detect right away what anyone's "demon" is/are until you've spent considerable time with them. Do you have to put your heart in protective gear before venturing out in the dating world? Seems so.
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