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Please HELP I dont know if to be ANGRY or HURT ...


HURTANDCONFUSED81

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HURTANDCONFUSED81

Its been 10 days now since we broke up. He told me he thought he loved me but didnt, that we were not compatible and that giving me a second chance would be lying to himself. During the 2 years we were together..first year was REAL good, ppl thought we would get married one day..but the second year we fought alot and I did alot of talking down to him whenever we fought.and I nagged alot too which Ive learned NOT to do ! Anywho...so the first 7 days I spent crying over him..and I thought he'd be hurting too. But he's blocked me from AIM and I just keeping telling myself..whenever I give him the benefit of the doubt ( like the night he totally rejected me after 2 years) I get burned. So now Im ANGRY instead of hurt..and Im angry that he could have said things so cruel if he didnt mean it..or did he? I guess Ill never know until I talk to him one day. But I will never contact him again...I was always the one trying to fix the relatinoship even though I made him mad. Im so sick of being the chaser...argh!

 

So my question is this..is it easier to get over someone if you just hate them.

I mean obviously he doesnt miss me ...though he contacted my sister's ex bf whose been helping me through this. I dont want to think anything of it because again I dont want to be let down again. I want a second chance ...but then I realize he wont ever open his heart to me the way he used to...so Im giving up that second chance and choosing to just move on and hate. Its probably easier than sitting around crying over him and missing him. What do you guys think?

 

(BTW, I was his first gf and the reason why everything kept going downhill after the first year was because we just got out of college and for a year he coudlnt find a job..and my parents gave me that pressure of "he's not good enough for you..blah blah)

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bluechocolate

I was his first gf....

 

First loves rarely go on to become life-time partners.

 

So my question is this..is it easier to get over someone if you just hate them?

 

Quite possibly. I think that what you're feeling is maybe more akin to anger than hatred & for a lot of people that is a normal part of the process.

 

If it helps you to get through it then by all means, hate him. Though eventually you will have to let that go too. It is such a strong emotion & it will eat you up. It also means that he is still affecting your life & in a strongly negative way, which I'm sure is something you don't want.

 

It's only been 10 days - so hate, be angry, cry, rant. The day will come when hatred turns to apathy & that is when you'll truly be free of him.

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