MeadowFlower Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 If your ex (if they were the dumper) came back in a genuine way, would you explore that option with them? Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 That would depend on the day Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 I divorced my ex-wife - if she came back on her hands and knees I would spit in her face and kick her in the teeth Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 It would have to depend on why the breakup happened and what had changed in the meantime to make it workable now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Depends on what caused the breakup, how she treated me during it, and her reasons for returning. The only person I might be willing to give that second chance to, is my last ex..but that is a very loose maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Wouldn't happen. And I wouldn't even entertain the thought of a friendship with her either. I'd give her the brush off as she did me. It's only fitting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
firemanq Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 I divorced my ex-wife - if she came back on her hands and knees I would spit in her face and kick her in the teeth You are asking if I would be nice and talk to her? This is the person that kept the kids from me, who told the kids I did not want to see them, who did not send me an invitation to the oldest child's wedding, who told the kids I was not paying child support. The person who had a long-term boyfriend all during our travesty of a marriage? That person? The guy ahead of me did a fine job of explaining my feelings about the x-wife. But things got better, I found a good woman. She had a daughter, who had 2 kids. Guess what, I had 2 kids I could play with, kids who climbed onto my lap, kids I could read a story to. Kids I could love and could love me. Both are on there own now, both have good jobs and are good citizens. I am proud of both of them. If you think I am bitter, you are right, I am bitter. She not only hurt me, more importantly, she hurt the children. I am still not sure of the paternity of the children, she claims I am the father of the oldest of the 4. But, she lied about lots during and after the marriage. I hope the kids let me know when the liar and thief dies. I want to piss on her grave, then I can die with a smile on my face. ****ting on her grave would probably be out of line. Or maybe not. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Yes... I've had a few ex-gf's come back after they dumped me. One in particular (that came back) turned out well. In the end, she did have to leave town to help family, and I agreed with her decision, so we broke up again. The second time I understood and wished her well, our last words were that we loved each other. She was crying as she drove away... out of my life. All the others, we re-dated a few months, but the "problem" issues were still there and the relationship failed. And if I could agree with "alphamale" there is one woman from my deep dark past, that if she came back; I would also spit in her face. I wouldn't kick her in the teeth, though. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 One in particular (that came back) turned out well. In the end, she did have to leave town to help family, and I agreed with her decision, so we broke up again. The second time I understood and wished her well, our last words were that we loved each other. She was crying as she drove away... out of my life. .... what a sad story, i'm bawling over here HL :sad: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 I dumped my last 2 EXs. One of them is dead so if he came back I'd be speechless at best. I suppose you have to take all the circumstances into account. I'd like to think I'd hear anybody out. Beyond that I can't say. But I would be concerned that they were back because I was 2nd choice: they couldn't do any better so they came back to just not be alone. I'd have a lot of trust issues. I did go back to one dumper. We broke up after almost 2 years. About 4 months later we tried to get back together. It lasted about 1 month, not even. It was awkward & a pale imitation of what had been. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
planb1973 Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 If your ex (if they were the dumper) came back in a genuine way, would you explore that option with them? Genuine is a key work here. Years ago I dated a woman who dumped me abruptly after 4 months, no real reason was given. I didn't stay in contact and just let her go. I really liked her though. A year, almost to the day, goes by and she reached out. Hesitantly I went and had dinner with her, she wanted to talk to me about something, thinking she just wanted to apologize I will quote what she said. "You are a great guy. I made a big mistake. I got scared because I was falling in love with you and I ran away instead. I know it hurt you. I am very sorry. I have been working hard on my issues that caused me to run from you. Would you give me another chance. I messed up, I still love you." We dated again. She broke up with me 9 months later for no reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 My ex-wife, absolutely not! But that would never, ever happen. We have a very strained relationship, some days civil, some days you could cut the tension with a butter knife. It's only the children that keep us connected. My ex-girlfriend on the other hand, I'd most definitely consider it. Even though I initiated the break up, it was her actions (or lack of actions - pulling away if you will) that prompted me to bring it all to head. My ex-girlfriend and I still talk and remain friends. Having said that, it's only been around 5 weeks since we broke up. Who knows what might happen! I'd definitely be open to it, but some ground rules would need to be put in place first. Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Genuine is a key work here. Years ago I dated a woman who dumped me abruptly after 4 months, no real reason was given. I didn't stay in contact and just let her go. I really liked her though. A year, almost to the day, goes by and she reached out. Hesitantly I went and had dinner with her, she wanted to talk to me about something, thinking she just wanted to apologize I will quote what she said. "You are a great guy. I made a big mistake. I got scared because I was falling in love with you and I ran away instead. I know it hurt you. I am very sorry. I have been working hard on my issues that caused me to run from you. Would you give me another chance. I messed up, I still love you." We dated again. She broke up with me 9 months later for no reason. That was definitely a case of, "it's not you, it's me" right there. Clearly she's incapable of working on her own issues. It's hard when you fall for the one's who are too dysfunctional to form healthy relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 I had some bfs that never really completely got out of my life, so it was up to me what boundary I kept. One that started as a friend, it would be nice to be friends again, but we tried it after breakup and really neither one of us could handle it. He wanted more (and now I'm pretty sure he was already banging someone else who was after him, so I don't even see why he couldn't have just gone back to friendship). He wouldn't stop talking about it or inferring it, so that would put me in a bad mood. We were acquaintances and we're barely even that now decades later. His wife is very jealous of me because he picked me over her and told her on the phone right in front of me so I'd know because I already knew he had someone out of town after him. I never wanted him back except as a friend, like we used to be, and not even a super close friend. Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 My ex-H dumped me when we were dating, and then returned, and I happily took him back. More than likely if I was dumped and blindsided by it, I would take them back almost every time (provided I wasn't dumped because they went with another girl). If I saw it coming, meaning they had complaints while we were together, I most likely wouldn't take them back, because....what changed? If it's because you couldn't find anybody better, forget it! Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 no.....i dont think its a good idea to go backwards.....i think when you truly break up with someone when its been a while and you have grown and adapted to a life without them........its not good for personal growth or your own sanity to go back..once a long long time ago when my ex an di broke up....i truly thought i wanted him back ....and then ....over time....my life....became my own...and i realised what happened to us...happened for the best..for him and for me..i deserve a guy who stays when times are hard....and he deserves to be with a woman he truly loves...and him leaving me...proves ...that it wasnt meant to be me he was with......back then ...and certainly not the me i am now............deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smellysocksuni Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 If your ex (if they were the dumper) came back in a genuine way, would you explore that option with them? No. As much as this is something I want, I can't trust that person with my emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
LauraXX Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I hate to admit it, but ....yes, I'd consider giving him another chance. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Well perhaps your ex had not thoroughly used, abused and burned you bad enough. It's not a temptation for most to ask for a second helping of that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yokoyan Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 I would take him back because he is all I want. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Osho Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 She did come back. She left me twice for other men and then Ghosted me and won’t allow me in our daughters life. We ran into each other by chance and couldn’t avoid it. (Made a post about it on here) She tried to get back with me but even being around her after so much self realizations I kind of noticed I’m not even into her. We’re totally different people. Not to mention all the red flags. The fact that she never knew me and doesn’t even have a clue about me at all now. In my post I stated that running into the person I was trying to avoid the most turned out to be the best thing that has happened to me in long time. Even though she still puts her man of the week above me being allowed to see our daughter. But that is another one of her issues as I work a job where I offer to help her and my daughter in any and every way and I can take off at a moments notice to see her and spend time with her. But she puts others above her own kids. Again another clear sign that I don’t want to be in any type of romantic relationship with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 (edited) In an ideal situation No, sorry but you have missed your chance, but the reality is a person may struggle to find someone as good as their ex. so if the ex comes back and wants to try again, yes why not sure , better to be with the person you like, do not wait around waiting for that scenario to happen though. Personally have no desire to get back with ex's, one or two close "friend girls" who I might yet hope would go further - that is a different question I suppose. Edited June 27, 2019 by Foxhall 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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