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Single and depressed for six months


Redguitar35

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Redguitar35

My ex was able to move on and find someone else to date within three months of her dumping me just before Xmas, and I still haven’t been able to find anyone for a relationship and I’ve been very jealous and depressed over it. Nobody I meet is a good fit. I’m starting to think I missed out on the one person in the world who was right for me. Should I just give up?

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I think the relationship you should be fixing is one with yourself. First of all, you need to not base your worth on whether or not you're single. Go have fun. The right person will come along. It wouldn't be fair to the new person anyway, if you only got with them for the sake of showing your ex you can also move on.

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greenlights0000

Fix yourself up, look sexy, buy sexy clothes and go out to the bars. Go where single men go! Don’t sit back, be seen!

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Redguitar35
I think the relationship you should be fixing is one with yourself. First of all, you need to not base your worth on whether or not you're single. Go have fun. The right person will come along. It wouldn't be fair to the new person anyway, if you only got with them for the sake of showing your ex you can also move on.

 

It’s not about that, it’s really about being lonely and missing that kind of connection to someone.

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Happy Lemming
Nobody I meet is a good fit.

 

So go for a woman that is just an "OK" fit, for now.

 

In my past, I've dated women that were a "you'll do, for now" woman when things dried up and I had trouble finding that "good fit".

 

So you date someone that checks 50% - 75% of your boxes and you enjoy her company, for now. In the meantime, you keep looking and searching for that perfect fit.

 

Your jealousy and depression goes away and you appear more appealing to that next person.

 

In my opinion, its OK to temporarily date someone (that isn't a perfect fit) to get over an ex.

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It’s not about that, it’s really about being lonely and missing that kind of connection to someone.

 

 

 

Yes, it is about that. Because apparently you think that you need to be in a relationship, and 6 months is a long time to be without one. Missing that connection is ok. Feeling you have missed out isn't.

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It’s not about that, it’s really about being lonely and missing that kind of connection to someone.

 

It’s quite possible to miss that kind of connection with someone, and also need to spend more time developing your own interests and building your relationship - with yourself.

 

It’s one of my favorite sayings - you are never lonely if you are good company.

 

Live your life - spend time with friends, exercise, learn a new hobby, travel, etc... no need to sit around moping about the past. Someone else will come along eventually, keep yourself busy and work on your mental health in the meantime.

 

There are some things that you don’t control and you can not force. These thing should have a way of happening when you are in a happy, healthy place. If you feel pressure to find another relationship - it will negatively affect your mental health and may lead you to settle for the wrong relationship (as you are aware).

 

Chin up. There are things in your future that you can’t even begin to imagine... all in good time.

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Trail Blazer
I’m starting to think I missed out on the one person in the world who was right for me. Should I just give up?

If she dumped you then clearly she wasn't right for you. Just go out and find some chicks to hook up with. It'll distract you from your pain, from missing her and you might even find "the one" in the process.

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Trail Blazer
So go for a woman that is just an "OK" fit, for now.

 

In my past, I've dated women that were a "you'll do, for now" woman when things dried up and I had trouble finding that "good fit".

 

So you date someone that checks 50% - 75% of your boxes and you enjoy her company, for now. In the meantime, you keep looking and searching for that perfect fit.

 

Your jealousy and depression goes away and you appear more appealing to that next person.

 

In my opinion, its OK to temporarily date someone (that isn't a perfect fit) to get over an ex.

That's how hearts get broken, buddy! She feels special because maybe she is out of your league. She starts falling hard when you've got your eye on a future with a better suitor.

 

Look man, in the past I would never have been about doing that, but I'm now awake to this nasty world and girls do the same thing time and again. If you can't beat an @$$hole, you may as well be one. It doesn't seem to do the chances of landing a girl any harm.

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Happy Lemming
That's how hearts get broken, buddy! She feels special because maybe she is out of your league. She starts falling hard when you've got your eye on a future with a better suitor.

 

"All is fair in love and war" - John Lyly

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My ex was able to move on and find someone else to date within three months of her dumping me just before Xmas, and I still haven’t been able to find anyone for a relationship and I’ve been very jealous and depressed over it. Nobody I meet is a good fit. I’m starting to think I missed out on the one person in the world who was right for me. Should I just give up?

 

 

 

 

 

ah wel always keep it in perspective, there are a lot worse things than being single,

 

 

6 months later it is time to move on buddy,make that extra bit of effort now to move on get out there meeting new people, it may not happen for you this year even, but getting out there is really important just making that effort to build new experiences.

 

 

personally Ive made the mistake of dwelling too much on what might have been with one particular girl , and on a different broken friendship scenario both of these were good in their prime but dwelling on them when they are gone is useless.

take the positives from your time with this girl and use that as a motivation to strive forward

 

 

we cannot change the past we can only influence the future,

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I'm in the same boat except I've been single for almost 4 years and having your same issues. I want to give up every day but it's against human nature to do so. Hang in there, maybe your person is out there.

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smellysocksuni
6 months later it is time to move on buddy

 

OP, move on when you're ready. There's no time limit.

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Beendaredonedat
That's how hearts get broken, buddy! She feels special because maybe she is out of your league. She starts falling hard when you've got your eye on a future with a better suitor.

 

Look man, in the past I would never have been about doing that, but I'm now awake to this nasty world and girls do the same thing time and again. If you can't beat an @$$hole, you may as well be one. It doesn't seem to do the chances of landing a girl any harm.

 

It's sad to read such jadedness.

 

Anyway @OP: If you are still creeping your ex's social media and in other ways of contact with her I suggest you stop doing that because its just keeping you mired in your attachment to her.

 

Your goal should be to get to the stage of indifference to her (without using others to get there) so that you are open in mind and heart enough to see and appreciate a "good fit." When you're still pining over you ex, its no wonder you haven't been able to find a good fit yet.

 

Work on accepting its over with her and no more social media stalking, or any other kind of contact.

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