Annoying Dreams

[DRose1992]

5-6 Months since breakup, 1.5 months of strict (social media blocking, erasing number, disappearing from her) N.C

 

I still deeply miss my ex gf (if you wanna read the break up story its a long one)

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/678710-i-m-emotionally-drained-breakup

 

This past week 6 nights out of the last 8 I have been having dreams of my ex gf. Either her being verbally abusive, or another where me blowing up on here telling her all the pain she caused or even just us laying in bed with each other in love.

 

Its making it hard for me to continue N.C. I wish it would stop...

[preraph]

To make the dreams become less, instead do this little exercise before bed.

 

A few minutes before you want to go to sleep, devote just maximum two minutes to intentionally thinking about your ex. Whatever comes to mind, ask "Is there anything I can do about it?" The answer is probably no. And then tell yourself it's a waste of time to worry about something you can't change. Your subconscious is doing this because you're probably pushing that down while you're awake. So if you do it while you're awake, it should stop it from doing that at least partly.

 

Now, another function dreams sometimes have is they come to the "surface" in our subconscious once we are better able to deal with that thought. So you subconsciously may push down a thought even in sleep and not remember that thought because you're not ready to handle it. Your subconscious will let that in as you are better able to handle thinking about it. These type thoughts or dreams are often preceded by kind of a forboding feeling, like something is coming you're uncomfortable with, but the good news is that usually it's not that big a deal once you are ready to deal with it in your mind.

 

So alleviate some of it by giving it conscious consideration before bed, and then the rest will kind of come as you are ready for it.

[DRose1992]

I will have to try that tonight. I hope it does help. Its a weird feeling seeing her in my dreams every night. Like i weirdly can feel her presence there

[Ronni_W]

Either her being verbally abusive, or another where me blowing up

Your dreams are meant to help you remember, at conscious levels, why the relationship broke down in the first place,

and why breaking N/C would be an ultimately really self-defeating thing for you to do.

 

Dreams are the psyche's way of working through, at subconscious levels, doubts, questions or issues that the 'waking mind' finds difficult or too strenuous or confusing.

[DRose1992]

*UPDATE*

 

 

Luckily the dreams have stopped all together which is nice. But she did reach out to me at the end of March to say she was randomly dropping off my stuff. She was very rude and we got into another argument.

 

I told her that I have not deserved this treatment I've been getting from her during this break up and how much she is hurting me from all this.

 

She did not apologize for anything but tried to make excuses for things.

 

I told her I still want my best friend back and she said "like how?" I said I was us together again.

 

All she said was that shes happy at the moment. So I said fine you let me know if and when you want me back in your life and she responded with an annoyed "Fine".

 

We have now been in no contact again for almost a month now. I haven't unblocked her on social media. But its been hard to date other people cause I still feel attachment to her and feel like we were a great match.