** Music's Still sad without you **

[LensCloth]

There is something so strange about someone that you used to know so well becoming a stranger. On one hand you still feel a connection to them, but on the other hand you have no idea what they did last weekend. And seeing them in person just intensifies that feeling. I don't even know what it is. I wouldn't call it sadness or anger or anything like that. It's just an empty feeling I think - recognizing something that is not in your life anymore.

 

Taken from a thread that was old I could'nt reply too

 

I'm only a few days away from my first year apart from my ex, all was going calmly until I saw them. And it feels like I only broke up with them yesterday!

 

Picture early morning, Mc Donalds drive thru getting brekkie & you pull up behind someone ordering. It's you're ex & stepkid ... Two ppl who ment the world too me for over five years and here they where, and for a whole year I knew nought! And the pain and suffering all came back in an instant.

 

We split over text, NC since. I took her stepkid under my wing as my own and still send birthday & christmas cards. A great kid I'd be proud to call my own - A tough childhood that I never had to endure.

 

My ex came at a time when I needed it most and I was smitten off the bat when I found her online ... fast forward 5yrs. And here we are

 

Moral of the story - Is I moved on with an amazing caring lady, who's fully aware of my plight at this moment. And in a way is jealous of the emotional hold my ex has on me. I feel I have wronged her & should have mourned longer!! ... I'm all over the place ... :confused:

[preraph]

It's always a jolt to run into an ex if it was a bad breakup. And I feel badly for you and the stepchild. Hopefully, your current girlfriend understands these feelings. Just emphasize that you haven't had ANY contact with her since the breakup, at all, so that's why it was a shock to you.

[elaine567]

Sad for your current girlfriend.

Try not to wallow for her sake.

If this is indeed a wake up call for you, then put her out of her misery fast do not string her along. She in all honesty sounds like she was the rebound.

[grays]

I know that the conventional wisdom is to go no contact after a break up, but I’ve had two major break ups in my life and felt they went much better because we kept in contact.

 

I lived with my husband of 25 years for a year after we broke up. I was crazy over him and devastated when he left me for another woman. It was hard, really horrible, seeing him leave to be with her, but it made things feel so real, like I had to accept it, no choice. And I was able to see how he treated me in a different light. During that year he treated me the same as he always had, ****ty, and I was able to see it better because he wasn’t my partner.

 

The second one I broke up with last May and we still text everyday. I told him I never wanted to see him again but he could text me. I never thought he’d text me every damn day for months. lol But it’s actually been really nice having him there. I don’t think it’s very balanced. I hold all the cards. I know if I said the word he’d come running back. But I won’t and I’ve told him that ten different ways. We both lean on each other for certain things but as time goes on I need him less and less. I’ve been relatively serious with someone else for a while now and it’s funny because the new guy is a terrible texter, but I have a great text relationship with the ex.

 

I feel like both times I managed to work through the breakup better because there was contact. And what you’re describing about seeing your ex would never happen.

[LensCloth]

Breaking the NC, it was always me never her. Last time was heart crushing, i stopped and moved on. The breakup was via text, and i never got closure. Not nice for a 5yr relationship a text of childish prportions and then no call, i picked up the pieces and moved on with word. Loneliness is a killer and i began chatting online, meeting for drinks etc etc ... this time around i had a checklist, ? someone taller etc etc etc.

 

Fantasy takes hold with an ex, but underlining factors begin to take hold, where we really happy or just fooling ourselves that it would all work out. Being of same aged helped but both with children of different ages, her running to schools was at an end mine i had another decade to go. Then worklife is another so yes, delve deep and look at it all under a microscope. Not just all the emotions look logically.

 

After a full year in a small suburb town, i was bound to run into her at some stage. I thought id react different than i did. But now everything settles down and the time continuum goes at it normal rate again. It was an experience, and where i went wrong i can mend this time around.