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Anyone with long term rele (7 yrs plus?) give hope that recovery is possible?


Twizzlestick

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Mine was over at 11 years. I loved her beyond words.

 

Something really holding me back and stopping brain coming out of denial - severe fear I’ll never get over this due the time together and feelings. I’ve had other breakups. Nothing like this. All my mates say “mm, that was a long time”.

 

I read there’s lots of reles breaking up a few years, maybe a marriage where the folk didn’t get on. But we got on right to the end. I’ve lost my best friend.

 

I don’t want to be cursed with this for years like some sort of Miss Havisham (I’m a fella though).

 

Any examples of folk with a long term rele with someone they were incredibly close to able to share that they did indeed get through it?. I think for folk in my shoes that would give hope.

 

 

Thanks.

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You don't have to tell me (or LS) but do you know why you broke up? Do you understand the cause? If you don't you have to start there.

 

I ended an 11 year relationship in 2001. I finally got it through my thick head that what I had was as good as it was going to get & he was never going to marry me. It took about 6 months for us to fully part. There was too much to unravel & he didn't want things to end but I didn't want things to continue as they were.

 

I cried a lot. I missed him a lot. I did start dating somebody soon after he & I broke up. That guy was a bit of a rebound but not really because emotionally I had broken up with my BF earlier then the actual words being spoken.

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I’m actually highly attuned now to what went wrong. I took counselling for the last year and it was incredible to be able to unpack it and get illumination. It was like a ton weight. My ex wasn’t up for it, but I was keen.Because I’d ended up shouldering a lot of guilt. Too much actually, falsely. Far too much. I’m quite unusual for a dumpee in that I’m already aware of not only my part and flaws, but what also went wrong on dumpers part. I’ve had to consider would the other person change their approach when wanting my ex back. I don’t know. We never got that far.

 

Manifested as a change of feelings. Too in depth to cover the history here. Very deep loving rele though.

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