LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Coping

How do I accept the break up?


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 9th December 2018, 7:16 AM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 7
How do I accept the break up?

I am having serious problems to accept that my boyfriend broke up with me. It is like I am in denial and as a result of impulsiveness, it feels that I canít leave him alone. After 5 days of NC after the break up, I saw his profile on a dating app and freaked out. Couldnít contain myself and sent a screenshot to him, I didnít even know what I hoped to accomplish but we had a fight and I just said a lot of hurtful things to him as if I was attempting to make him feel my pain.

He did some bad stuff in our relationship but I still did not end it and asked for us to try. We tried for 2 months and it didnít work. He says heís not so in love with me anymore and that heís not ready for a serious relationship like we had (we live together now for a year after 2 years long distance)

Deep inside, I know breaking up is the best because I was suffering so much in the relationship but Iím just having a real trouble accepting it is over because I love him and am so used to having him in my life. We had so many great moments together that itís hard to accept that someone would just give up on all that.
maripsv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th December 2018, 12:27 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 1,195
Quote:
Originally Posted by maripsv View Post
I am having serious problems to accept that my boyfriend broke up with me. It is like I am in denial and as a result of impulsiveness, it feels that I canít leave him alone. After 5 days of NC after the break up, I saw his profile on a dating app and freaked out. Couldnít contain myself and sent a screenshot to him, I didnít even know what I hoped to accomplish but we had a fight and I just said a lot of hurtful things to him as if I was attempting to make him feel my pain.

He did some bad stuff in our relationship but I still did not end it and asked for us to try. We tried for 2 months and it didnít work. He says heís not so in love with me anymore and that heís not ready for a serious relationship like we had (we live together now for a year after 2 years long distance)

Deep inside, I know breaking up is the best because I was suffering so much in the relationship but Iím just having a real trouble accepting it is over because I love him and am so used to having him in my life. We had so many great moments together that itís hard to accept that someone would just give up on all that.
You are suffering from temporary adjustment disorder. Keep telling yourself that.
Simple Logic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th December 2018, 12:29 PM   #3
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 42
Yes it is hard to accept the relationship is over. I have read and reading books to help me understand. I have seen the things i did wrong we did wrong and what should have been done that was not. I am trying my best to get over it but it is so hard. God has helped me a lot and good luck
changingmale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th December 2018, 6:16 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 506
It is brutal and unfortunately there are no short cuts. I won't give you a bunch of sayings, like "time heals all wounds" because, although it's true, it doesn't help in the moment.

Try to take things in small chunks. When you're breaking up with someone, it feels like the end of everything. Like you'll never talk to them again, never see them again. Don't focus on that. Focus on getting through the next day or hour if you have to. As those in AA learn, "one day at a time". It helps, it really does. Because every day you feel a tiny bit better. Some days you slide back again, but mostly you get better and better.

The best thing you can do? Go NC. It's constantly mentioned on here because it helps and it works. It also sucks. There are a million reasons why it's the right thing, but you have to focus on whatever helps you. Even if it is really petty and mean, do whatever you have to do to remain NC (and especially do not look at their stuff online!!!). You have no idea what they are really doing and you will only make yourself crazy.

In the end, you have no choice but to accept it. We cannot make other people do what we want. You will be so much happier if you walk away with your head held high and try to just stay silent. Let him wonder what happened to you and why you stopped talking to him. Have you moved on? Married a billionaire? He has no clue and that's what you want. Meanwhile, you'll be healing.

Post here. It helps. I promise. I'm almost 6 weeks NC and I'm doing better. Not healed or over it by a long shot, but not crying all day anymore.
nolanola is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th December 2018, 9:00 PM   #5
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 33,475
Seeing him on the dating app was probably very painful. At minimum, hopefully you realized that in the short term, perhaps you need to take a step back from dating.

Since at least some part of you knows it's for the best, try making a list of all the reasons it's better you are apart.

Then make another list of all the things you are going to do with all your new found free time.

Best wishes
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
We can accept their shortcomings but they cant accept ours. batt Breaks and Breaking Up 4 29th December 2014 8:57 PM
Trying hard to accept the breakup and accept the fact that's he has changed [updates] geebelle Breaks and Breaking Up 66 16th July 2014 12:56 PM
Masochistic to accept a break???? OnyxSnowfall Breaks and Breaking Up 14 8th December 2011 12:25 AM
Accept that people with plenty of options can "break the rules" grkBoy Dating 23 22nd September 2011 6:01 PM
accept break up.. then next? jeremy2live Breaks and Breaking Up 0 14th July 2008 4:02 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:47 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.