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Missing a girl that left me for her ex ( Long text)


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 25th November 2018, 5:53 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by BMWN52 View Post
As Expat said,


Don't make a fool of yourself or like I did. Chasing or pursuing a girl who has dumped you like a 2nd class citizen, only drives her away further into the other guys arms.


It really does suck, especially if you had a meaningful connection with that girl as I did with the Russian gal. Just remember, you'll start to realize more faults of that person as time goes on. You don't want to be someone who's playing the field and keeping guys in her web.

Women really do hate needy or insecure behaviors, I mean even sending flowers at this point to make it up is a big risk. She'd have more respect for you if you just did nothing, start dating new women. You said you guys work together?

Women to make up their minds about a break up, prepare themselves and move on quicker. Guys get left behind wondering what the hell happened? It goes both ways too.

Havnt seen her in over a week now, I think.... Probably saw her the other day when she walked right outside where I sit. But tried to not care. So I just carried on looking into my monitor. It was kinda dark outside. She probably saw me but w/e.

Our companies have the same owner, and lay right next to each other. Its two car dealerships. So we drive around alot and move cars etc, so thats why we see each other sometimes.
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Old 25th November 2018, 8:31 PM   #17
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Havnt seen her in over a week now, I think.... Probably saw her the other day when she walked right outside where I sit. But tried to not care. So I just carried on looking into my monitor. It was kinda dark outside. She probably saw me but w/e.

Our companies have the same owner, and lay right next to each other. Its two car dealerships. So we drive around alot and move cars etc, so thats why we see each other sometimes.
I got a plan for you my man. Since you guys work together. If you want to tease her or make her jealous like she did to you. Go on Rentafriend.com, look for a very attractive female in your area, like 8-9. Hotter than that girl. Have her pick you up at work in front of her and drive off. I'm willing to bet she'll start to blow up your phone again lmao �� Even better if you guys have a employee Christmas party take a girl.

I don't live in the same area as that Russian girl yet, or even work with her. But I woulda done this a long time ago. She'll be wondering how you got such a hot girl and moved on quickly lol. That hurts their egos.

Link:
https://rentafriend.com

Last edited by BMWN52; 25th November 2018 at 8:39 PM..
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Old 26th November 2018, 4:25 AM   #18
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I got a plan for you my man. Since you guys work together. If you want to tease her or make her jealous like she did to you. Go on Rentafriend.com, look for a very attractive female in your area, like 8-9. Hotter than that girl. Have her pick you up at work in front of her and drive off. I'm willing to bet she'll start to blow up your phone again lmao �� Even better if you guys have a employee Christmas party take a girl.

I don't live in the same area as that Russian girl yet, or even work with her. But I woulda done this a long time ago. She'll be wondering how you got such a hot girl and moved on quickly lol. That hurts their egos.

Link:
https://rentafriend.com
OP, please don't do this. With respect to this poster, it's a terribly juvenile idea and won't work the way you want it to. It is also very transparent and will paint you in a desperate light.
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Old 26th November 2018, 8:14 AM   #19
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I got a plan for you my man. Since you guys work together. If you want to tease her or make her jealous like she did to you. Go on Rentafriend.com, look for a very attractive female in your area, like 8-9. Hotter than that girl. Have her pick you up at work in front of her and drive off. I'm willing to bet she'll start to blow up your phone again lmao �� Even better if you guys have a employee Christmas party take a girl.

I don't live in the same area as that Russian girl yet, or even work with her. But I woulda done this a long time ago. She'll be wondering how you got such a hot girl and moved on quickly lol. That hurts their egos.

Link:
https://rentafriend.com
Hah, that would of been funny. But id rather skip that option..

We are having a Christmas party this weekend with the work, and I think she isnt invited. Since she is only part-time employee. But we'll see.
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Old 1st December 2018, 8:44 AM   #20
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So we had this christmasparty last night. And she was there too.

Pretty awkward when we saw each other at first, I said oh hi familiar face and walked by, and she said heeeey and didnít even look at me.

Later in the evening she actually came up to me and asked me how I was. We both were pretty drunk. We started talking. She dragged me to the bar where we were alone and we had a kinda deeptalk. She mentioned that sheís still seeing this guy and that they are sort of together.

But. She and I went to another place alone where we spoke even more. (Her idea) she told me that letting me go was really tough for her, because she really liked me she said. But that it wouldnít work in the long run. She mentioned that they are in the same age and that they are in the same time in life with things too. And we arenít. She mentioned that about me moving to another town to study, she also mentioned her willingness to have kids in soon future. Which I wasnít into. Stuff like that.

She asked me how itís going with my new girlfriend, I was like what girlfriend? Yeah the one you said you were seeing she said. I told her that Iím not seeing her anymore because I didnít feel anything special with her. She asked questions like if we had gone to bed with eachother, I was like no I donít go to bed with people Iím not totally into. She was like but you did so with me? And I answered yes because I really liked you obviously? She almost started crying and just stared into the wall without saying a word after I said that.

She mentioned that about me not saying hi or waving at her at work, she thought I was giving zero ****s about her.

She said that she thought I didnít like her that much and didnít care about her really. But that she really cared about me because she really really liked me she mentioned again. And that the time with me was really nice because we got along so well. I said didnít realize how much I liked you until you left me. She almost started to cry again, and just looked at me without saying a word.

We shared a taxi me her and her colleague. She hooked her arm around mine for some reason. I jumped off first, she went out of the taxi with me to say goodbye. Canít completely remember what happened, it was some talk about us again and a hug.

Feels like a good end of this I must say, age doesnít matter but your situation in life does.
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Old 1st December 2018, 12:10 PM   #21
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<snip>
But. She and I went to another place alone where we spoke even more. (Her idea) she told me that letting me go was really tough for her, because she really liked me she said. But that it wouldn’t work in the long run. She mentioned that they are in the same age and that they are in the same time in life with things too. And we aren’t. She mentioned that about me moving to another town to study, she also mentioned her willingness to have kids in soon future. Which I wasn’t into. Stuff like that.

She asked me how it’s going with my new girlfriend, I was like what girlfriend? Yeah the one you said you were seeing she said. I told her that I’m not seeing her anymore because I didn’t feel anything special with her. She asked questions like if we had gone to bed with eachother, I was like no I don’t go to bed with people I’m not totally into. She was like but you did so with me? And I answered yes because I really liked you obviously? She almost started crying and just stared into the wall without saying a word after I said that. <snip>
At least you had some sort of closure. Just be careful if she ever does come back into your life. It's obvious she still has feelings and attractions for you. I think it's hailrious she couldn't take it, that you paid no attention to her. What did she expect for you to shower her with affection??

She's just as confused as you are. Basically she had to make a choice between two guys. That's the thing I dislike with certain people, they involve more people into the picture than there needs to be. She sucked two guys into her web and drama, does what she pleases.

My situation is a bit crazy too. That girl I've been talking about is in a relationship with a guy down the street from my friends house ha. I'm still trying to figure that out, she's been flying into my state and city for this dude. She knows I'm from here too. I haven't heard anything from her at all. I'm in better shape than he is. I don't get it.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 2nd December 2018 at 8:06 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
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Old 1st December 2018, 7:57 PM   #22
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At least you had some sort of closure. Just be careful if she ever does come back into your life. It's obvious she still has feelings and attractions for you. I think it's hailrious she couldn't take it, that you paid no attention to her ��. What did she expect for you to shower her with affection??

She's just as confused as you are. Basically she had to make a choice between two guys. That's the thing I dislike with certain people, they involve more people into the picture than there needs to be. She sucked two guys into her web and drama, does what she pleases.

My situation is a bit crazy too. That girl I've been talking about is in a relationship with a guy down the street from my friends house ha. I'm still trying to figure that out, she's been flying into my state and city for this dude. She knows I'm from here too. I haven't heard anything from her at all. I'm in better shape than he is. I don't get it.


Yeah it kinda hurts to know that she really liked me, feels like lost love in one way. She probably is so confused right now after I told her I really liked her too and wanted to build something with her. But I told her that she has made her choice and I cant change that. She was like but I thought you didnt...

I dont know what to say about your situation really. From what I have learned is that you shouldnt think too much. Things can be so differently from what you think. I thought this girl used me as a rebound or somebody to just be with. But I was wrong. She truly liked me, from what she said and showed yesterday. Ofcourse she can lie, but then she is a hell of a good actor...
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Old 2nd December 2018, 1:03 PM   #23
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I think that's interesting considering she didn't allow you, or me in the case of the other girl to confess our feelings right away. Sounds like both of these women we dated are inpatient and playing games with us. I mean she must have knowm you liked her?


In my situation she did talk to me gave the whole " you're a really nice guy, great personality a lot of fun. I hate saying this. But I know it will not work. I just know". She kept pushing me away, even told me she hopes I find someone. Somehow she's had 3 different guys involved in her life since Sept. Me and you were just a form of entertainment for them who started to feel for these women. I know they felt emotions for us, but women can move on quickly.I still feel like trying fix things, despite her new relationship. We had something special aside from casual sex. I went to the beach, zoo, iconic spots in the city. All boyfriend stuff. That's why I'm hung up on it.

Last edited by BMWN52; 2nd December 2018 at 1:15 PM..
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Old 2nd December 2018, 6:40 PM   #24
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I think that's interesting considering she didn't allow you, or me in the case of the other girl to confess our feelings right away. Sounds like both of these women we dated are inpatient and playing games with us. I mean she must have knowm you liked her?<snip>

As mentioned, I didn't feel anything super special until I lost her, that's when I realized i really liked her. So in one way i have myself to blame. I didn't give her enough. We had fun and so but I could of done so much more.. But i think her insecurities has a major role in this.

When she started acting off I told her I liked her, she said she liked me too. She brought that up the other day. I know you said you liked me but i didn’t think you liked me THAT much.

“You moved on so quickly from me, you started seeing this other girl so I thought you never really cared about me” she basically said you didn’t fight for me. No duh? She choose someone else over me. I can’t affect that... She said she ain’t worth me and that I would probably leave her if we carried on our dating, since I would easily find someone better than her.

It’s not much we can do, I told her the other day what I really felt. She got the message. I clearly said to her that I can’t affect her decision. It’s all up to her.

We shouldn’t go around thinking or hoping. Even tho it’s very hard to not to.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 2nd December 2018 at 8:04 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote and fix formatting
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Old 8th December 2018, 6:36 PM   #25
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So I saw her at work the other day. I was in the car and she was walking, so i honked and waved and drove by. Since she said on the party that she didn’t think I cared about her anymore since I was ditching and not saying hi. I wanted to prove her wrong.

But later she came driving meanwhile I was walking, but she drove up to me and took down the window and started talking with me. She said jump in so i did and we talked. It was the same kind of talk we had just before we started our dating. I was just trying to have a normal chat with her but for some reason it like felt a bit flirty.

We ran into eachother again in the garage, talked a lil bit, same here a bit flirty talk, she ended with well I guess ill se you around then, I was like yeah c ya and drove away. But i actually snapchatted her 30 mins later (About a funny thing that just happend me and that we just talked about) She was flirty once again now in the snap. In the last Snapchat she sent a photo of her shoppingbasket full with taco ingredients. We had taco Friday’s back when we dated. That’s the first that came up in my mind. Why else would she send photo of that. I didn’t reply and now we haven’t had contact since then. Probably like, look I am going to have taco Friday with my bf.

She has a boyfriend from what she said last weekend on the party. She did mention it’s going on well with them and she’s gonna meet his family on new years. But she still wants me in her life. The time together me and her has spent with eachother is basically only when we dated. So it’s not as I’m a long time friend she can’t just let go. Her boyfriend doesn’tknow about me. She is probably just playing games. Or there is some other reason.

Last edited by Jeppepp; 8th December 2018 at 6:40 PM..
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Old 11th December 2018, 2:39 PM   #26
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So I saw her at work the other day. I was in the car and she was walking, so i honked and waved and drove by. Since she said on the party that she didn’t think I cared about her anymore since I was ditching and not saying hi. I wanted to prove her wrong.

But later she came driving meanwhile I was walking, but she drove up to me and took down the window and started talking with me. She said jump in so i did and we talked. It was the same kind of talk we had just before we started our dating. I was just trying to have a normal chat with her but for some reason it like felt a bit flirty.

We ran into eachother again in the garage, talked a lil bit, same here a bit flirty talk, she ended with well I guess ill se you around then, I was like yeah c ya and drove away. But i actually snapchatted her 30 mins later (About a funny thing that just happend me and that we just talked about) She was flirty once again now in the snap. In the last Snapchat she sent a photo of her shoppingbasket full with taco ingredients. We had taco Friday’s back when we dated. That’s the first that came up in my mind. Why else would she send photo of that. I didn’t reply and now we haven’t had contact since then. Probably like, look I am going to have taco Friday with my bf.

She has a boyfriend from what she said last weekend on the party. She did mention it’s going on well with them and she’s gonna meet his family on new years. But she still wants me in her life. The time together me and her has spent with eachother is basically only when we dated. So it’s not as I’m a long time friend she can’t just let go. Her boyfriend doesn’tknow about me. She is probably just playing games. Or there is some other reason.
That's a bit of progress. I think she wants you back dude, but you have to error on the side cautious she is not going to use you then dump you again.

I think either you have to make a ballsy move and kiss her next time to reignite that spark, show her you're more confident and ballsy.

Or proceed slow and see what happens, but you may get placed in the " friend zone". I'd say **** it.. If you want her back make it clear. Just understand she could be toying with you. The other equation is the new bf, he may get upset and rightfully so. She doesn't sound too stable, as in a gf though.

I'd say dont live in regret and just go for it. Women love that stuff. Only thing that happen is might crash and burn, but hey at least you tried.

Last edited by BMWN52; 11th December 2018 at 3:04 PM..
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Old 12th December 2018, 9:27 AM   #27
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That's a bit of progress. I think she wants you back dude, but you have to error on the side cautious she is not going to use you then dump you again.

I think either you have to make a ballsy move and kiss her next time to reignite that spark, show her you're more confident and ballsy.

Or proceed slow and see what happens, but you may get placed in the " friend zone". I'd say **** it.. If you want her back make it clear. Just understand she could be toying with you. The other equation is the new bf, he may get upset and rightfully so. She doesn't sound too stable, as in a gf though.

I'd say dont live in regret and just go for it. Women love that stuff. Only thing that happen is might crash and burn, but hey at least you tried.
I dont wanna seem like a dog to her. Im pretty confused how i should handle this situation really. I love her, but she was the one that left me for her ex.

She actually snapchatted me the other day. It was personal to me, i answered her. She started building up a Snapchatconversation, sort of flirty once again. But I actually decided to ditch with not continuing the conversation. Itís been two days since and I havenít wrote anything, neither has she. She ainít getting my attention back that easy. Itís really hard to stay NC now tho.
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Old 12th December 2018, 10:59 AM   #28
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Sheís clearly playing games, OP. She likes attention. And when sheís not getting it from her boyfriend, she knows youíre a convenient source.

Look, quality girls donít flirt with dudes like this when they have boyfriends. Sheís showing you sheís not girlfriend material.
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Old 12th December 2018, 12:39 PM   #29
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Sheís clearly playing games, OP. She likes attention. And when sheís not getting it from her boyfriend, she knows youíre a convenient source.

Look, quality girls donít flirt with dudes like this when they have boyfriends. Sheís showing you sheís not girlfriend material.
You might be right, but have you read all my posts? This Christmas party we had with the work pretty much proved she wasnít playing games, if she now isnít a very good actor.

Anyways if this is the case sheís definitely not girlfriend material. Or she might just be missing me and got tired of her guy.
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Old 12th December 2018, 2:37 PM   #30
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I once dumped a guy as I felt we had no future long term.
When all the post break up noise calmed down we started speaking again, we met as friends, we always got on well, we had long conversations.
I thought great we are being very adult about this, we can be friends for a long time here.
BUT one day he ended up crying on my sofa, wanting me back. I was shell shocked I had no idea and no, I definitely did not want him back. I was just being friendly...

End of beautiful friendship, I realised I was hurting him by just wanting to be friends...it was selfish of me, but it was not done deliberately.
We parted ways.


Be careful.
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