LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Coping

Blech. Heartache and silly feelings after exiting bad idea fling


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

Like Tree2Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 25th November 2018, 4:47 AM   #16
K2z
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 378
Boy have you put your finger on it there. And I know it, and she knows it, and we have pretty much said as much to each other. And, among young girls with the world at her feet, she's a cut above... as in, far more attractive/smart/charismatic/talented than the average woman her age. She is, as a friend said, "settling into her power." This is the main frustration, as you rightly diagnosed. The only reason I got to taste it in the first place was because I am yet another experience, something to sample.

I know these things. I know she feels NOTHING. The other night when I returned her stuff and had a drink and chat with her, she said, "so, we're pretty much back to where we were two weeks ago, right?"

And yet here I am. A Tasmanian devil trapped in a phone booth. So I am using this platform, which has helped me in the past, to sort of live blog the agony. I want it very much to settle down and to become sane. I dwell in madness.

There is one upside. I have a raw energy cycling through me that I have not felt in a long time. Something has shifted. I might be able to tame this raw electricity for something positive.

Last edited by K2z; 25th November 2018 at 4:50 AM..
K2z is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th November 2018, 2:01 AM   #17
K2z
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 378
hey, and to top it all off she's a fantastic camera model and my photographer friend has built an entire Instagram profile around her and only her! (which I have blocked.) I am just roadkill. Spatula me off into the ditch.
K2z is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th November 2018, 8:43 AM   #18
K2z
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 378
Oh man. The anxiety. The regret. The craziness. So much in my chest and blood.
K2z is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th November 2018, 6:33 AM   #19
K2z
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 378
I know I have been jokey and light so far but I am now sinking into a dire depression. This episode and its attendant feelings show me just how empty and ridiculous my life is, and it is so late in the game. So much is over. I do not feel good about life, for real.
K2z is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th November 2018, 8:19 AM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,762
The way you write suggests you're more depressed about squandered opportunities than anything particular to this girl (who, it should be reiterated, was young enough to be your daughter). What are you going to do with the time you have?
lana-banana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th November 2018, 8:04 PM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,488
K2z, you really seem to have lost all perspective. Unless you only post when you're drunk and don't really feel this way all the time, then you probably need to go talk to someone about this.

If you don't like your life, then change it. Make a plan, take productive steps.

Go have a hot one night stand, pay for it if you have to, get it out of your system! Then move the f*** on. You're willfully wallowing. Stop it.

I mean this with the best of intentions
Finding my way is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th November 2018, 4:02 AM   #22
K2z
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 378
I appreciate these reactions.

Some quick data points:

- I am talking to a counselor (who I haven't needed for a couple years) about this a week from Thursday. Feels like forever till then.

- I have reached out to friends.

- What complicates this is that she is a long time work colleague still kind of enmeshed in our circle, and she is a participant in a group podcast/youtube channel we are starting up.

- what complicates my feelings is the sheer rollercoaster rapidity with which she casually signalled girlfriendy-ness, then ran off with my photographer friend to shoot this whole amazing portfolio of wonderful and occasionally sexy shots. I feel abandoned. And I feel mocked by youth.

But yeah, ain't nobody gonna tell me any different than move on. I feel paralyzed. Kind of desireless and obsessed.
K2z is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th November 2018, 4:09 AM   #23
K2z
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 378
I'm also being selfish, I know. I tasted a drug, and I am acting like an addict. This has given me some insights into what real drug addiction might be like.
K2z is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th November 2018, 6:16 AM   #24
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,762
You spent two weekends with a girl half your age. His you got "girlfriendyness" from that, especially given the age difference and the exceedingly casual circumstances, makes me think you are over-romanticizing this to a dangerous degree. What did you expect from a 25-year-old? She still has at least three more years before she settles down with a venture capitalist who likes trail running and ska bands.
lana-banana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th November 2018, 7:21 AM   #25
K2z
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 378
We are in Asia so it's not quite that paradigm but you are right nonetheless. What is aggravating me to the nth degree is the photographer friend glomming on to her and OBSESSING over her, with her full participation. He has shot her like 8 of the last 12 nights.

Tonight-- literally two nights after I spoke to him about my jealous feelings that he was moving too intensively on the woman I introduced him to-- he posted like thirty shots of her in a wedding gown. There's something going on there that ain't right. My friendship to him is gonna die, I fear, and I am gonna depart this podcasting/YouTubing collective in which the woman and I are together.

Am I a self-absorbed obsessed fifty something a-hole? Yes I suppose so, but dammit, I feel trapped.
K2z is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st December 2018, 1:39 AM   #26
K2z
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 378
I am in an obsessive mental loop of rumination. That's what my challenge is called.
K2z is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd December 2018, 10:33 AM   #27
K2z
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 378
The photographer "friend" is relentless. Every few days a new set of shots on the Insta of her. And she looks magnificent of course.

I'm fully aware that I am trapped in an obsessive loop. I am going to speak to someone this week. But my heart keeps whirring and whirring.
K2z is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Second date too exiting... killed the 3rd? The-Idealist Dating 9 8th June 2016 1:39 PM
Teetering between wanting a relationship and just exiting the whole thing GoWarrs Dating 1 22nd May 2015 4:39 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:07 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.