Odettefaith Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 (edited) I'm feeling really down right now cuz I just got out of a relationship. Everyone make changes in a relationship and my bf kept emphasizing on what he has changed and that makes me feel really bad. He used to be a flirt and he said he's changed so much for me. I got upset yesterday because I saw him still trying to create attention with girls he don't even know on Instagram by posting comments such as "Sexy, pretty" etc. This isn't the first time he had done so. Previously he would PM girls he don't know on FB and I have already told him that it bothers me. Yet after almost 2 years of dating, he just keeps doing it and still think there's nothing wrong. He goes clubbing pretty often and everytime he goes, he will know new girls who work at the club and get their contact number. I have tolerated with these behaviour for the longest time. I know it's my fault that I allowed him for treating me this way. Now that I have decided that it's done, I just want to know what can I do right now to feel better because I feel so down now. It's like I've lost my self worth. I don't know if I can find someone ever again. I've been cohabiting with him for the past 2 years and suddenly I'm afraid of the change. I'm afraid to know that he's moved on faster than me because we did break off once in April and within days he travelled with his female colleague overseas and of course things happened between them. I'm afraid to go through this again. The pain and everything but I really don't want to stay with someone who disrespects me that much. I'm in so much pain right now I just hope to feel slightly better so is there anything I can do? Edited November 4, 2018 by Odettefaith Link to post Share on other sites
Samsara555 Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 Hi there You have been very tolerating and understanding of this guy, too much so actually. You have clearly stated your boundaries in the relationship multiple times, that you do not like what he does with random girls on his FB, and yet he doesn't respect that. Sorry to say this but he isn't worth your time or your emotional torment. You sound like a decent and compassionate person, your feelings and energy are wasted on someone like him. It's a shame that you have based your self worth on and around him as you say, because it seems like you're a better person than he is. You need to be logical here, he isn't going to change any time soon, and that means that you are not going to be happy in this relationship any time soon. I feel you either give him an ultimatum (maybe this is too late actually) or you just walk. When you do try to walk, he probably will give you all kinds of excuses and that he will change etc, but we both know he probably will revert back to his old ways again. You need to start having all of this compassion for him onto yourself. You need to realise you are worth a whole lot without this guy in your life. The sooner you cut the cord and move on the better, and it will hurt initially, but we have all been there and it heals with time. Before you know it, you'll be looking back on the relationship and wondering why you didn't leave sooner. Exercise, do yoga, go for walks, meditate, hang out with friends and family, but just don't give this person any energy or time. Take care Link to post Share on other sites
Author Odettefaith Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 (edited) Thanks Sam. Logically I know how it works only that human emotions can be a little overwhelming at times. Trying to fight this demon but I'm sure things will get better over time. I'm just really afraid he will come begging and crying like he always did and I'll just stupidly forgive again. It has happened so many times I'm getting tired of it. If he leaves me alone I'm all good. Just pray he doesn't bother me at all! Edited November 4, 2018 by Odettefaith Grammar Link to post Share on other sites
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