Very sad.

[Love2015]

My ex husband who I was with 7 years and then we get married and same year he cheats and leaves to start living with her. He character defamed me and twisted all around. Today after nearly 3 years ...I have moved on yet...I have not find anyone else. I decided after a long time to check on their social media. They got married this year and I am still wondering to myself what on Earth happened. I blame myself for him cheating and leaving and I feel miserable as a result. Not only he had stopped talking but so did all his family. They basically all went MIA and no one talked to me about anything as if I am an outcast. In fact, I still get anxious when I think about it. I was so depressed and now I finally feel much better yet when it comes to relationships...I am completely petrified at the slightest of problem that may occur. I am dating and I just feel I am not worth it, I have deep rooted fear of abandonment and I feel no one will ever love me. I am also not able to be myself with anyone...not truly ...every time I feel the slightest of attachment, I run away. I don't know how to overcome this fear. I see everyone having happy lives and internally I feel miserable for myself as I wonder if I will ever trust any man again. I was ok if my ex cheated and he would have been honest and confront me for it. I would have not liked it but I would have accepted just like I have done. What really makes me upset is how today I don't know what is real and what is not. He completely turned all the stories and I have also lost good common friends in the process which adds to the pain. Just recently one of the most common friends sent me a message saying out of the blue, don't call me and I am drama. What happened? He had invited me to go out with his wife and her friend and when I declined saying I was not feeling well...he says that to me. It seemed it was my ex husband talking all over again....I have now lost this friend as well it seems. I am not sure if anyone understands ...cause this is not normal at all. I feel this is betrayal at it's maximum level where someone paints a story that is completely erroneous. He changed our history completely and me from being this innocent loving caring woman have become shutoff and not trusting anyone. I don't feel happy and have sleepless nights....it's sad and I don't know how to help myself. I try and I fall over and over again. I feel very unloved. Although I know I am loved by friends...I have stopped truly feeling it. It's like I am not grounded and part of me would still like closure. A reinvindication that I am not bad but that my ex was lying about it. How is it that he gets to be happy and had redone his life after being the cheater and his whole family accepted it while I am here miserable and having issues?

[sneezy]

In my opinion you still let your ex husband define who you are. Yes, I would seek help not because you have issues, but because it rreaaally helps to get your feelings out..I recently got out of a relationship myself, we were not married but had an apartment and a dog for 3 years. He ended the relationship out of the blue , leaving me with no closure and in shock. This happen last month. I moved out with my dog and not a single day goes by without crying my heart out. I do this alone in my private space and I go to therapy once a week. I also keep a journal with everything I feel because I dont believe in closure from the partner or his family. My advice to you is to fine peace and closure with yourself..There are relationships out there that end without any signs or warnings..and the people involved have a hard time getting over it, but in your case he was a cheater...after 7 years he didnt respect you and all the love you gave him. Imagine yourself with this men again..how would it make you feel? I think not very secure ..he has issues and perhaps he is married now, but in a few years his issues will come to the surface again..he had issues before and those issues didnt go away because he met some other woman..I dont think you are looking in the right place for closure.. Closure is something you have to give yourself, as a gift..so that you dont get stuck and can move on..the love you invested was there because of you..not because of him..you gave him that , it s inside you..please be your own best friend, dont hang on to negative behaviors like how his familiy is acting or the common friends.. His family may act that way because they feel ashamed ..or they dont know how to act and in the end I dont think they could make you feel better..dont seek approvel from outside because people are weird and narcissistic..I dont want to be negative but until the end of lifetime you truly only have yourself.. Its nice and fun to have a lover but life is so much more..Try to let it go , its easier than you think. dont put so much pressure on you..You dont deserve the pressure and you know it..take your attention away from it..train your brain and dont let your feelings guide you always..you have to get to a maturity level where you guide your emotions...let them be..feel them but not in a destructive way... I hope it helped what I just wrote ..be your own hero and if you cant make it now or feel like it ...fake it because it works, because one day not so far away you will wake up and really feel like you owe it to yourself to be your best friend <3 lots of love and hugs

[stillafool]

His family is going to support him no matter what; as that's what families do. I wouldn't expect anything from his family especially if no children are involved. Is your family supporting you? Have you thought about getting personal counseling? I think that would help you a great deal.