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6 year marriage ended by ex. Blocking communication


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 15th August 2018, 11:33 AM   #61
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Originally Posted by cooldude123 View Post
On a lighter note, should i be sending b'day wishes to my ex who I have blocked since divorce? I know the answer is mostly no, but still putting it out there for your feedback.
1. Do you want to get back together with her? Nope.

2. Do you want to be friends with her? Nope

3. Can you be friends with her? Nope

There is no purpose to it.

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Old 18th August 2018, 11:03 AM   #62
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Finally the car registration is out of my name.. it appears she has already transferred it a long time ago. I was a dumb guy just to have not been aware of it.
Such is my plight to have trusted her so much all the time we stayed together while she had 0 trust in me the entire 6 yrs.
I dispatched all her marital assets to her home and i think they promptly received it as well. Tracking confirmed it. Anything related to money they are alert and quick to accept it.
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Old 2nd September 2018, 8:50 AM   #63
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Found an interesting girl that i am seriously considering moving forward by dating and getting to know more about each other.
It is appalling the kind of treatment she underwent with her ex and was in such an abusive relationship that she had not dated anyone and remained single for 4 years! I would say she had a strong reason to divorce that ex of hers. After seeing my profile online she thought she would give it a go and we both were so open with each other that we communicated for hours together. So fingers crossed that my physical meeting will go well too!
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Old 2nd September 2018, 10:26 AM   #64
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Good luck. You'll be fine now.
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Old 11th September 2018, 11:48 PM   #65
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Angry

Ex again messaged me saying she owes me money and wants to return it. This is the millionth time she is coming back despite repeatedly telling her that we have no financial dues. How to handle This? Any thoughts? Blocking wont help as she can respond from a different email.
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Old 12th September 2018, 10:39 AM   #66
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Ex again messaged me saying she owes me money and wants to return it. This is the millionth time she is coming back despite repeatedly telling her that we have no financial dues. How to handle This? Any thoughts? Blocking wont help as she can respond from a different email.
Just ignore it. She is trying to bait you to communicate. She needs you to respond on her terms and since you are not doing that, it's annoying the heck out of her so she's finding excuses to break NC.

Based on you list as to how she treated you, her actions now are about her control over you. She was able to do it then, and it is unacceptable to her that she isn't able to do it now.

Stay NC. At some point these types go away when they realize that you have no more attention to feed them.
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Old 13th September 2018, 8:13 AM   #67
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I thought it over and I know if i do not respond this will keep coming back to me every once a while. I wanted this matter closed with email evidence.

So I sent a response saying that I am not interested to take anything from her and it was money spent for us and not her or me. Asked her to be content and peaceful. And i will have her in my prayers and wish her the best no matter what. Take care.

After a while late night, she responded saying that i took care of all expenses for us with my salary and she had saved hers for our future. So i need to receive what is mine. And that she would be thankful if i take it back and put it to whatever good use I need to.

Just a while ago I woke up, sent a reply thanking for the offer and responded saying that I respectfully decline. The matter is closed and I am glad she has found her peace.

Now she responded back saying Why I decline all the time and this matter will never be closed till I take the money.

I responded saying i won't reply to her going forward unless its a geniune post divorce need.

She responded saying she was sorry to have invaded my private space and bug me. And going forward she won't bug me in future. Take care.

I think i just have to simply ignore any emails going forward.

Last edited by cooldude123; 13th September 2018 at 8:31 AM..
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Old 13th September 2018, 8:43 AM   #68
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I not feel this reflects well on her at all. A truly caring person would realize they hurt the ex and do their best to leave them alone and heal.

What she is doing is self serving and manipulative and has nothing to do with caring about the OP.

He should not respond unless her lawyer is contacting him at which point he should have his lawyer respond.

He has no legal or moral obligation to ever speak with her again.
I completely agree with the above. OP I think your response to her is appropriate. She wanted the divorce now let her live with it. After you answered her insurance questions that's all that is required from you. I hope you meet a really great woman.
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Old 13th September 2018, 12:37 PM   #69
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She said she owes you money and she wants to return it.



Not seeing a problem.



She can



- send a check
- pay via bank auto pay
- use paypal


That's for starters.



If she wants to give you money, then take it. Unless you have more than you can possibly spend.
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Old 13th September 2018, 1:43 PM   #70
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Agreed, she is just playing a game with you. If she wanted to send you money she could just send you a check.

It will continue, since you keep responding.

Cut her from your life and move forward to see what life has to offer you. -THIS MEANS NO RESPONSES FROM YOU - You delete spam don't you? delete or archive her emails - you can even setup rules if you have gmail or outlook or other email services to handle the emails automatically.

If you cannot maintain NC then take the damn money and donate it to charity.
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Old 14th September 2018, 3:29 PM   #71
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Its painfully obvious she's trying to keep contact open with you. For what reason, I dont know, unless she's so used to controlling your life that she wants to continue with that. By ignoring her ridiculous emails...she owes you money? She can mail you a check.....you take control of the situation. So take control and stop the contact. You owe her nothing. Its over and done with.
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Old 14th September 2018, 6:48 PM   #72
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You have control over your phone and email (your life).

Start using it.

No more response. She'll go away eventually
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Old 16th September 2018, 10:55 AM   #73
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Thank you all for providing a valuable feedback. yes, I believe in a way I got a closure because this money thing had been the talk of our entire marital life. she always always always suspected me of taking money from her while I had not touched a bit.
little could she realize life and relationships are bigger than money.
we took an oath in front of the judge that we have settled everything. The judge in fact asked few times to my ex to confirm settlement. the matter was clearly discussed a million times and agreed upon. Because of her suspicious behavior she was unable to trust me or this relationship. Pushed me for an annulment first and later we agreed for an uncontested divorce which I agreed too without much hesitation. now she wants to offer me money after going through all this circus. pretty sure she will be answerable to God for spoiling an honest pious relationship.
I want her to live the rest of her life happily and peacefully with whomever she wishes to live with. but I want to answer questions about her integrity in afterlife.
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Old 16th September 2018, 11:11 AM   #74
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Right now you are giving her way to much of your head space.

You doing this will just keep you bound up in it.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

If you want to move on
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Old 17th December 2018, 4:28 PM   #75
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Hope all are having a good holiday season!
I had a Q regarding my situation. One of our common friends with ex is keeping in touch with me and asking my whereabouts once in a while. He was not very close before divorce but we were in touch once in a while. I am not the one to initiate the conversations but it appears he is messaging me once in a while to check on me.
I also remember ex telling me once a long time ago that after divorce, its upto me if she wants me to keep in touch with any of her friends. and she kinda hinted that I keep in touch with him.
I and him were occasionally corresponding before and after divorce. He even invited me home once after divorce and I just gave a pretext that I was busy. Now he checks up on me once in a while.

How should my response be ?
Should I communicate at all and if yes how and what ?

On a positive note, I am moving on successfully. And I befriended a girl during dating and we even had very passionate kisses and romantic sex. Although I don't have much feelings towards her currently, she is on cloud9 and wants to pursue this relationship further. She said that she has dated many and had a couple of hookups, but never ever experienced the warmth affection, passion and romantic love that she experienced. This was my first sex may be after 4 years or so. Its interesting that during the entire duration of our Sex starved marriage, I was unable to have a proper sexual relationship with my ex for whatever reason. But now I was able to perform it because the other person was also patient, knew some sensual trigger points (That i myself did not and do not know since all these years) and willing to accept me as her trusted partner. I guess this is all that was missing in our Sex starved marriage and wish that the Ex could realize this.

Last edited by cooldude123; 17th December 2018 at 4:37 PM..
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