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rough break


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 1st June 2018, 6:00 AM   #1
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Unhappy rough break

It's been about 11 days since my ex broke up with me. I have had trouble eating and sleeping. I believe the last time I actually slept and ate was 2 weeks ago. Everything I stomach, just comes right back up. I literally would have a glass of water and half a grilled cheese sandwich for the entire day. My cognitive function has dissipated and I have massive anxiety if I go or do anything.

I've been through break-ups where I've been hurt, cheated, and thrown away. Basically, she wanted focus on her life and her parents. She said that when shes with me, shes unable to function because she wants to spend all her time with me. It just rally painful that she just painted me black. She blocked me, deleted me from all social media, and insisted that I leave her alone.

She just seems cold and heartless. I just don't get what I did to deserve it. This is affecting my mental health, I obsessively think about her to the point it physically putting my body in pain. I have night tremors when I do sleep. Being busy and doing things are nearly impossible. idk what to do anymore

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 1st June 2018 at 6:41 AM..
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Old 1st June 2018, 6:44 AM   #2
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OP, are you able to contact a trusted family member or counselor about this? This thread and your others indicate a serious level of distress and I would be concerned about your long-term well-being.

This isn't about your ex anymore. You need to start reaching out for help to get through this, from someone who isn't her.
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Old 1st June 2018, 7:11 AM   #3
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You didn't do -- or not do -- anything to deserve it. She just changed her priorities.

You need to settle down. Not eating & sleeping is going to take a toll on your health. When you are upset cheese / dairy are bad choices. That is part of the reason the food is coming back up. Have some soup instead, preferably something in a light broth.

When you start to feel upset / anxious about this do some deep breathing & do the sensory thing where you ground yourself. When you start to freak out do this: find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Doing that exercise will help restabilize you.
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Old 1st June 2018, 7:40 AM   #4
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I would also suggest that you make an appt. with your doctor to get help. You have to eat and drink fluids or you will end up in the hospital. No woman is worth what you are putting yourself through. Love you more than her. There are millions of other women out there.
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Old 1st June 2018, 7:52 AM   #5
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I read the other thread. This break up is not out of left field. There have been tremendous cultural pressures for you two to break up for the entirety of your relationship. To be with you she defied her parents. Her parents hate you so much they had you arrested.

I know it sucks. I know you miss her. I understand you are deeply & profoundly hurt but you have to let go. This relationship needs to be over.

Get yourself a good therapist & get your life back on track.
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Old 1st June 2018, 8:07 AM   #6
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Op just wanted to let u know I was the same way. I couldn't keep anything down the first 2 weeks after my ex left. I remember going back home and throwing up 3 times the day he dumped me. By the end of 3 months I had lost 20 pounds.

I am now back to 3 digits on the scale (finally) and feeling a little better. Though it did take sometime.

It's hard, but it will get better. Just try to take it one step at a time. I didn't get any professional help, but I just told myself that even if I had really had chest pains I was going to have to care for myself and eat and drink things. Just self care.

If u need professional help, please reach out.

Last edited by HiCrunchy; 1st June 2018 at 8:12 AM..
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Old 1st June 2018, 8:48 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Somethinglovely View Post
It's been about 11 days since my ex broke up with me. I have had trouble eating and sleeping. I believe the last time I actually slept and ate was 2 weeks ago. Everything I stomach, just comes right back up. I literally would have a glass of water and half a grilled cheese sandwich for the entire day. My cognitive function has dissipated and I have massive anxiety if I go or do anything.

I've been through break-ups where I've been hurt, cheated, and thrown away. Basically, she wanted focus on her life and her parents. She said that when shes with me, shes unable to function because she wants to spend all her time with me. It just rally painful that she just painted me black. She blocked me, deleted me from all social media, and insisted that I leave her alone.

She just seems cold and heartless. I just don't get what I did to deserve it. This is affecting my mental health, I obsessively think about her to the point it physically putting my body in pain. I have night tremors when I do sleep. Being busy and doing things are nearly impossible. idk what to do anymore
Just take each day at a time and focus on self-care, health and wellbeing. You will heal psychologically. It just takes a bit of time. Having someone to talk to like a supportive family member will help.
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Old 4th June 2018, 1:04 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Somethinglovely View Post
It's been about 11 days since my ex broke up with me. I have had trouble eating and sleeping. I believe the last time I actually slept and ate was 2 weeks ago. Everything I stomach, just comes right back up. I literally would have a glass of water and half a grilled cheese sandwich for the entire day. My cognitive function has dissipated and I have massive anxiety if I go or do anything.

I've been through break-ups where I've been hurt, cheated, and thrown away. Basically, she wanted focus on her life and her parents. She said that when shes with me, shes unable to function because she wants to spend all her time with me. It just rally painful that she just painted me black. She blocked me, deleted me from all social media, and insisted that I leave her alone.

She just seems cold and heartless. I just don't get what I did to deserve it. This is affecting my mental health, I obsessively think about her to the point it physically putting my body in pain. I have night tremors when I do sleep. Being busy and doing things are nearly impossible. idk what to do anymore
She seems cold and heartless because to her, the relationship became a prison. It didn't have anything to do with the way you behaved. It's about her and her life and her perspective of things. There isn't anything you can do about that because it's out of your control. You must find solace in that.

Her parents are the main factor here. Everytime she's with you, she has to lie to them. She loves them, she respects them. Hence, she doesn't want to disappoint them. Unfortunately, being with you means disapointing them. So she left you.

I lost 10 pounds after I lost an ex. Didn't eat. Didn't sleep. I had constant chest pain. I didn't talk to anyone and I didn't get out of bed for weeks. What you're feeling is completely normal.

You're in emotional shock as I mentioned in your previous thread. Everything is fresh. I would suggest getting a therapist so you have something to look forward to in regards to sharing your thoughts. I also suggest you journal out your thoughts everyday. Write one thing you are grateful for that has nothing to do with her.

You will need to ride this out unfortunately. In the mean time, take care of yourself. Drink soup, drink fluids. Eat crackers. Keep your stomach from being empty and believe that this isn't the end of your life. You had a life before her. You will have one after her. That should be your goal for now.

- Beach
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