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How do I stop talking to my crush in my mind?


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Old 29th May 2018, 10:52 AM   #1
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How do I stop talking to my crush in my mind?

I had a crush towards the end of my time at university. I never asked her out, but she knows I liked her. She likes me but not the same way I do. She's so nice to me, chats with me, looks out for me and is very supportive of me. We haven't interacted for 6 months cause I finished uni but I always imagine what she'd say if she was next to me and reply in my mind.

Here's an example. I watch an excessive amount of sport which affects my social life a bit. She's told me that a few times before. The other day when I was watching football, I imagined her saying "What have we talked about?". I then reply to her in my mind, "I know, but I'm sad and it's easy to do." Stuff like that. Silly I know.

How do I make it stop?

PS. I'm also angry and snap a lot now for some reason.

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Old 29th May 2018, 10:59 AM   #2
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How do I make it stop?
By putting on your big boy pants and telling her you want to take her out on a date.
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Old 29th May 2018, 11:19 AM   #3
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Well, you're simply fantasizing about the perfect moment which will hurt you because it's a picture in your head..not reality.

I think the moment may have passed BUT on the off chance that I am wrong, I'd say if you don't want to live with the "What if" in your mind, then ask her if she'd be down to hang out and do something fun. Do something you both enjoy. Ex. Frozen Yogourt, Coffee, food festivals, or get some tickets to a game, mini golf etc.

Fun activities like that will liven the mood and avoid awkward silences and unecessary interview-like pressure that may come from just having "Dinner" alone. Instead you two can use the activity to compensate for the silences and give you something to talk about if you draw a blank about a topic to discuss. It'll also get you both interacting which you won't get from watching a movie in a dark theatre.

Goodluck man

- Beach
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Old 29th May 2018, 11:24 AM   #4
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Well, you're simply fantasizing about the perfect moment which will hurt you because it's a picture in your head..not reality.

I think the moment may have passed BUT on the off chance that I am wrong, I'd say if you don't want to live with the "What if" in your mind, then ask her if she'd be down to hang out and do something fun. Do something you both enjoy. Ex. Frozen Yogourt, Coffee, food festivals, or get some tickets to a game, mini golf etc.

Fun activities like that will liven the mood and avoid awkward silences and unecessary interview-like pressure that may come from just having "Dinner" alone. Instead you two can use the activity to compensate for the silences and give you something to talk about if you draw a blank about a topic to discuss. It'll also get you both interacting which you won't get from watching a movie in a dark theatre.

Goodluck man

- Beach

Thanks, but there's no way we'll ever be together nor am I willing to ask her out. I need to find a way to stop talking to her. It's like I feel her presence.
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Old 29th May 2018, 11:45 AM   #5
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Thanks, but there's no way we'll ever be together nor am I willing to ask her out. I need to find a way to stop talking to her. It's like I feel her presence.
Are you keeping busy socially? How's the lifestyle right now post-uni?

If you haven't already, jot down some activities you've always wanted to do on a sheet of paper. Things that interest you. From that list, circle the ones that are group-oriented and then see if you can join them. Don't give into fear or excuses. Just sign up. Could be classes of some kind, could a co-ed sport or a physical activity like rock climbing or a volunteering activity or something related to your career goals etc.

The goal is to shake your life up a bit and get out the monotonous routine that's still associated with thoughts of her. Doing a few things that will scare you because you're unfamiliar with it or because it is challenge will force thoughts of her into the back of your mind and make you focus on the new challenges in your life.

Coincidently, you'll meet new people which means you'll start discovering more personalities and more people who are like-minded and committed to doing the same things you are. You may even meet someone who catches your eye.

- Beach

Last edited by Beachead; 29th May 2018 at 11:56 AM..
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Old 4th June 2018, 1:45 AM   #6
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I talk to mine too. It'll be ok, the sadness will get better one of these days and time will march on...until then, I wish you the best 🙂
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