jparmyguy Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 So last year around may my first real girlfriend broke up with me. At the time it was extremely hard, I saw my entire future with the girl we always talk about getting married and having kids. I didn't see myself with anyone else. During the passing month I did a lot of reflection on my self what I did wrong why I still had feelings for her and such. During this time I realized how unhealthy our realtionship was and that there was most likely nothing I could have done to fix it. I would have never got over my resentment for some of things she put me through and would have had to deal with being lied too and probably cheated on had we still been together. I feel guilty for some the fights we had because sometimes when she hit me or ignore me I get really mad and scream at the top of my lungs. I regret getting mad like that as I was never like that as a person before. I also realized that what made me still have feelings for the girl was i kept holding on to the fantasy of her. I realized all these fights probably sprung about because of how different we were. What made me fall for her to begin with was the fact that she was some hopeless romantic who was family oreitened with an extremely pretty face in my opinion. Other than that there was not much to our realtionship other than what I created in my head. Most the convo we had were either how much we loved each other or drama going on. They honestly looking back lacked a lot of substance from what I remember. Anyways, when we broke up I blocked her on everything as I had very strong feelings for her at the time and couldn't move on seeing picture of her with new guys being uploaded constantly as it stung very bad. (Again she is extremely attractive so She got hit on a lot, and after She ended to my knowledge now She turned into a party girl banging any dude who look her way) She had also blocked me too. Fast forward 6 months and the pain started to subside and I was able to let go of most of my anger. I unblocked her on everything as part of me wanted to at one point catch up with her and see how life was going and how she was doing in school. She however still had me blocked. Anyways, I had noticed that she did not block me on a finsta gram account she had and her second Facebook. So about a few days ago i decided to add her on both so that maybe I could reach out and catch up on life. I noticed that she declined both request. So I thought oh well and carried on with my day. The another night I was at the bar with my friend and my friend kentra started randomly calling me. It was weird for her to call me that late at night. When I preceded to talk to her (she sent screen shot, snapchat convo) my ex girlfriend had randomly messaged her out of the blue. She started the convo saying "bye" my ex went on to attack me personally for being me. She called me gross said I was ugly looking and so on. My friend respond saying, "why are you messaging me", "what did he ever do to you?" my friend stood up for me. My ex responded by saying that she doesn't associate with anyone Who knows me and that anyone who does hang with me is a faggot/loser. My ex then blocked her and that was the end of that. Honestly, I do not care too much but I find it rather odd that she message this girl out of the blue all of this crap. Yeah it kind of hurts to know that as I know I'm not really attractive looks wise. A small part of me wanted to say to her well you dated me for 3 years soo... Anyways I did not say anything and now I know I will never be able to have any sort of friendly convo about how life is going and such. So I won't try to add her on anything ever again, its probably the reason she message her in the first place. The friend I was with still follows her on insta and snap so I was looking at the stories and stuff. She finally took down all the pictures she had of us as for the longest time she kept them all up, which im assuming she pulled them when she told me she was dating someone new.(during that no contact period we managed to get into some fight about me hanging around another girl, I don't think it lasted very long) She was at some party at a college hanging out with a bunch of guy, so part of me assume something didn't work put with one of them and because she was drunk just decided to attack me for whatever reason. So yeah honestly I'm confused what even happened but kinda of just moving on with my day. She never tried messaging me or texting me or my friend again on some other platform. Link to post Share on other sites
hgriffin17 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 It's an ego thing. She prioritizes herself higher up than you based solely on looks. So because after the breakup you blocked her and basically moved on, she remained in disbelief. Not because she still likes you or misses you, but because *in her head she's saying* (how could someone just moved on with their life like I meant nothing?). So now that you're "back", she's trying to punish you. She was waiting for you to message her since she denied both your requests (she wanted a reaction from you) but since you again, moved on with your day, she took it upon herself to harrass someone associated with you. You said she was abusive, and this behaviour is horrid. **** someone who says you're a loser, because you're not. She is for doing all of this. Trust me, you're better off not having to deal with this kind of behavior. Yes, you dated for three years but this is her true self, and to me you don't deserve that kind of treatment. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 You should have known better than to try and contact her. Leave it alone now and reblock her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jparmyguy Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 It's an ego thing. She prioritizes herself higher up than you based solely on looks. So because after the breakup you blocked her and basically moved on, she remained in disbelief. Not because she still likes you or misses you, but because *in her head she's saying* (how could someone just moved on with their life like I meant nothing?). So now that you're "back", she's trying to punish you. She was waiting for you to message her since she denied both your requests (she wanted a reaction from you) but since you again, moved on with your day, she took it upon herself to harrass someone associated with you. You said she was abusive, and this behaviour is horrid. **** someone who says you're a loser, because you're not. She is for doing all of this. Trust me, you're better off not having to deal with this kind of behavior. Yes, you dated for three years but this is her true self, and to me you don't deserve that kind of treatment. Yeah so it seems. Looking back I know I am better off, I would probably have become miserable had we continued to date for another few years. I just hope I do not run into the same crap later down line if and when I meet someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jparmyguy Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 You should have known better than to try and contact her. Leave it alone now and reblock her. Yeah I know terrible idea, won't bother too ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Yeah I know terrible idea, won't bother too ever again. At least you've learned a valuable lesson. Never let your heart override your mind Link to post Share on other sites
Author jparmyguy Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 At least you've learned a valuable lesson. Never let your heart override your mind This is true given that I made the same mistake twice, girl before her was ****ing some dude on the side the entire time. Just doing my own thing for next few years. Link to post Share on other sites
Dmoney28 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Hi, I don't mean to sound like an arse, but you kind of brought this upon yourself. You still have feelings for her, and 6 months isn't enough time to emerge from the breakup a complete and re established person. She seems still angry for whatever reason. Block her, and anyone affiliated with her. If she makes direct, confirmed and clear effort to reach out, I would still stay NC. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Block her and leave her blocked. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Link to post Share on other sites
health Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 My ex would say the worst things about me for years after our break up. It made me question our relationship. If she even liked me. We were together for 5 years. Just move on to bigger and better things. You sound like you're on point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jparmyguy Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 Hi, I don't mean to sound like an arse, but you kind of brought this upon yourself. You still have feelings for her, and 6 months isn't enough time to emerge from the breakup a complete and re established person. She seems still angry for whatever reason. Block her, and anyone affiliated with her. If she makes direct, confirmed and clear effort to reach out, I would still stay NC. It's been close to a year not 6 months, she was the one who dumped me and was pushing for an immediate friendship(honestly think she wanted to use me to still do her hw and crap like that) after ending things with me as she said she had no feelings for me anymore and that we had too many issues. So for her to be mad makes no sense to me especially after that much time. I still think about her here and there as she was my first love/first real girlfriend but I wouldn't say I still have feelings for her neccisarly but yeah i know I shouldn't have bother to add her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jparmyguy Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 My ex would say the worst things about me for years after our break up. It made me question our relationship. If she even liked me. We were together for 5 years. Just move on to bigger and better things. You sound like you're on point. Yeah, I felt myself asking the same questions when we first broke up. Yeah i decided to focus on myself only for next few years and get my **** in order. Got two more years till i finish my computer science degree, plus taking a year off school for marine corps reserve. My ship date is sometime in june. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 OP, you said she hit you sometimes? You need to learn to stay away from abusive and unstable people. Anyone who uses violence to express their anger is not someone you should attempt to rekindle contact with. Were you feeling lonely when you tried to add her? Bored? What was it that made you want to stick your hand in that fire again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jparmyguy Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 (edited) OP, you said she hit you sometimes? You need to learn to stay away from abusive and unstable people. Anyone who uses violence to express their anger is not someone you should attempt to rekindle contact with. Were you feeling lonely when you tried to add her? Bored? What was it that made you want to stick your hand in that fire again? I guess I was little bit bored but I also care about her as a person. Part of me wanted to make sure she was still pursuing school and such even though that really isn't my buissness. She comes from extremely broken home. Honestly her behavior is stemmed from the dad telling her how to act and a bunch of other weird crap, the situation is really messed up. Normally I would stay away but I guess I don't feel threantened because she is only 90 pounds so those hands don't do any damage when they come out. I'm 200 lb. But anyways I have real problem when it comes to attracting unstable people, I don't know what it is about me but the only stable people I have in my life are my friends since middle school and my family, other than that most new people I have introduced into our friend group have been a little out there. Edited March 20, 2018 by jparmyguy Link to post Share on other sites
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