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The grass looks greener in my past


EthanSPK

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Over the last year I've seen myself losing several friends because of several reasons - greed, boredom, sadness, envy, jealousy, rage...

 

And now I find myself living at the end of a cold dark corridor, restless, lonely, angry and miserable. And I've come to terms with the idea that there is no coming back and don't want to be forgiven. Sometimes I dream about having my friends back, only to wake up and realize it was just a dream and how miserable I am because of this loneliness.

 

As I'm writing this, I feel a strong pain in my chest that has been bothering me for years. Went to the doctor several times, they just don't know what it could be - it's not heart disease, or a tumour, they just don't know.

 

I still keep a few friends, but they won't talk to me unless I do first. And even so, they don't seem much interested.

 

I need a change. Now.

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