MikeLeno Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 My ex-gf broke up with me out of the blue one night after telling me she loved me, missed me, was so lucky to be with me, and etc. a few days before the breakup. Everything was going great, and the times together were the best yet. She does have bipolar/depression and has been hot and cold with me last semester. My assumptions were that she was scared of long distance/commitment, outside influences that it is not worth dating someone 2 years older than her/long distance, and that she should still explore and have fun since she has only 2 more years of college left. Within the past two months post breakup, I've been in contact with her on and off. We didn't talk as much as usual, but she would respond to my texts/closure msg/and etc sometimes. She did get angry at me and blew up saying she's afraid that I won't leave her alone (hearsay from a friend), that she was really annoyed, and etc. Yet, a few days ago she texted me saying she missed me. She was pretty warm and seemed interested in talking even saying she missed me and it's possibly bc I've dated her for almost a year/I was her best friend through the times of low and the best of times. It could be that she is transitioning from a time of sorority recruitment and now asks herself "is this it for the rest of the semester?" Some of her closest girl friends have bfs and are hanging with them quite a bit. She probably also sees a lot of pictures on social media about couples and possibly wondering if she made the right choice.... However, when I said I couldn't be friends after she asked if we could, she went back to being short and cold with her responses, saying she meant in the future not now since I'm not ready (bc i might develop more feelings and will possibly want more and to get back together, which she probably does not want). What do y'all think about this situation? Does she really miss me or is just feeling lonely? Will she move on to another guy to fill that void? Anything is helpful and greatly appreciated thank you all! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 She may very well miss you. She is probably lonely. However, all of the things that broke you apart are still there so there is no point in getting back together now. When the distance closes if you are both single then you can try again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MikeLeno Posted September 22, 2017 Author Share Posted September 22, 2017 The only reason she left me was because she "didn't want to be/can't be in a relationship". Nothing else. We never fought, never lost trust, was loyal, pushed each other to be the best person we could become, and etc. It seemed like a perfect relationship other than her being hot and cold sometimes and pushing me away when she felt "suffocated" or needed time alone due to either her depression or just bc... However, I've realized through much thinking and from what I see how she's acting is that she wants to just explore college and the experiences, make memories with her sorority sisters, and etc. Yet, my friend told me that her partying it up rn (she never partied and hated it when she was with me) is to put up a front. I didn't believe him, until she told me she missed me recently and possibly bc she feels lonely. But idk maybe she does like this lifestyle and her freedom being single without any commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
hgriffin17 Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 Girls are different. They have different needs. For the most part (at least in my experience), girls really enjoy the emotional side of a relationship. The physical part of it all is more of a priority for men than for women, So now you might see why she wants to be friends. If it wasn't clear before, bring friends gives her the emotional benefits she desires. Such as attention, care, or even love. But what do you get? Not much really. Let's be honest here. You wanna hold her and kiss her till dawn. But you can't remember, you're just friends! I'm sure she does miss you. When a girl is done with you, she'll literally never contact you again but she might miss you differently than what you want. I'm sure you want to be back together but she seems like she doesn't. The only way to make this clear is for you to set up a date when she contacts you. Idk be like, "if you miss me, we should totally go to (restaurant name) on (whatever day) night" and If she rejects You, simply say "just let me know if you ever change your mind" because look...you don't want to deal with all this bs man. It's not worth it. Not worth your time. But every situation is different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MikeLeno Posted September 22, 2017 Author Share Posted September 22, 2017 Girls are different. They have different needs. For the most part (at least in my experience), girls really enjoy the emotional side of a relationship. The physical part of it all is more of a priority for men than for women, So now you might see why she wants to be friends. If it wasn't clear before, bring friends gives her the emotional benefits she desires. Such as attention, care, or even love. But what do you get? Not much really. Let's be honest here. You wanna hold her and kiss her till dawn. But you can't remember, you're just friends! I'm sure she does miss you. When a girl is done with you, she'll literally never contact you again but she might miss you differently than what you want. I'm sure you want to be back together but she seems like she doesn't. The only way to make this clear is for you to set up a date when she contacts you. Idk be like, "if you miss me, we should totally go to (restaurant name) on (whatever day) night" and If she rejects You, simply say "just let me know if you ever change your mind" because look...you don't want to deal with all this bs man. It's not worth it. Not worth your time. But every situation is different. Hm that makes sense. I told her I couldn't be friends rn, bc I'm not over her yet, and if we become friends, I'll probably want more even if she doesn't. Alright, I'll do that - I was planning to contact her asking if she wanted to hang out when I came up to Ann Arbor where she goes to school to visit friends. The past 2 months I asked to hang once when she came down to my hometown, and she kept giving me the "Ill lyk" answer, but it was basically a No. Hopefully, this time will be different, and she'll at least sit down and talk to me about everything. I got no closure whatsoever or anything. It sucks really bad...Idk how she would treat someone she "loved" like this. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 It's very hard for a newly minted sorority sister away at college to have a long distance BF. She is being pulled in many directions. It's not about her disliking you. She recognizes that she has lots of other obligations & she wants to explore college. Let her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MikeLeno Posted September 22, 2017 Author Share Posted September 22, 2017 It's very hard for a newly minted sorority sister away at college to have a long distance BF. She is being pulled in many directions. It's not about her disliking you. She recognizes that she has lots of other obligations & she wants to explore college. Let her. I definitely agree. She just went to a huge party last night, which she usually never does when she was with me. It could just be a way of coping and not staying in and do nothing while everyone is out, or she could be moving on with the help of her friends. She's so confusing, since I think she wants to explore college too, but she is never upfront. I hope I get the chance to spend time with her and to ask her soon after my MCAT Link to post Share on other sites
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