ChuckDee33 Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 Girl broke up with guy several months ago, breakup wasn't mutual, still love each other but she doesn't want to be with me at this point in her life (I'm 25, she's not yet 21)...tried staying 'just friends' but I know now that isn't possible when you obviously still have feelings for each other, even if she doesn't want to act on them and I do. She told me there has be be some middle ground now (after 8 months). But I really don't think there is such a thing. I think we are either going in one direction, getting closer to each other however gradual it may be, or we are going in the other which is getting further apart. I want to be doing the former because I still feel strongly about a second chance down the road. The problem is being able to move on now. I had implemented NC for myself last month it I was feeling good about it. Then she came crying back to me of course, not to get back together or anything but to express how much she didn't want me out of her life, yadda yadda. I really feel like I should have not allowed her to see or talk to me and let the NC continue indefinately. See, I think to me still she is an addiction...and if I keep coming in contact with that addiction I'm NEVER going to be able to recover, ie move on. It's a vicious cycle. I guess me and guys in similar situations (I know there are many out there no doubt) will just have to risk losing the love of our lives forever for the sake of our own sanity and mental health right now. That is the mindset I have to approach it with now. There is no middle ground with her at this point. Friends is not an option for us no matter how much we love them, no matter how much we hope for a second chance, no matter how much we still care about her and her feelings. It's rough but it's really the only way of 'keeping it real'. To use another metaphor, here's one that I came up with the other day: When we were together we were traveling down the road of life in the same car on a two way highway. When she broke up with me I got into another car but stayed behind her pretty close still going down the same direction with her. And she kept glancing back at me sometimes through her rear view mirror. As time passes, my car has started to lag behind more and more and/or she is speeding up in her car but still glancing back at me through that mirror. I told her that at this point, either she has to let me get back in her car or I have to turn mine around and head back the other direction...away from each other as we get smaller and smaller in each others mirrors until we are gone. What do you guys/gals think about this train of thought?? Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 Originally posted by ChuckDee33 She told me there has be be some middle ground now (after 8 months). But I really don't think there is such a thing. Friends is not an option for us no matter how much we love them, no matter how much we hope for a second chance, no matter how much we still care about her and her feelings. It's rough but it's really the only way of 'keeping it real'. you said it yourself........There is No room for middle ground here. i am not a big fan of metaphors: But , I do not understand why you are soo hell-bent on being with her, when she would rather "drive" off with out you? so why are you Following her in another car? shouldn't you be on another road now? why are you are still "driving" on her road...when you should have Off-roaded it back to Your road, or made another road for yourself to travel down? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChuckDee33 Posted April 26, 2005 Author Share Posted April 26, 2005 That is what I'm been discovering I have to do...although it been a slow process for me I had initiated NC, she broke it, felt like I wasn't getting anywhere...so now I've started it again and I intend to stick to it this time. If she truly wants to be with me down the road then she will fight for it...any other way is not worth it. I want to be with her but not at the expense of my own life and what lies ahead. That has taken some time to grasp but I just gotta go with the flow and whatever happens is for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
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