latefragment Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Who's been an idiot like me and chose to do everything with the ex and their friends? - now it's like i have no friends, practically! i did this with different guys for five years... piggybacking on their friends because i moved around a lot to a lot of different states/countries... now that it's over, i find myself sad and i hate to admit it, but also jealous of all the friends that are now off-limits to me... i need to make my own network of friends and i know it will be good for me, and it's a long and slow process... it's actually painful - the feeling of loneliness not only from separation from the ex but also from that cadre of people that were so fun to be with, the group of his friends who included you in everything and made you feel like a part of their group. what a slap in the face. wake up, dummy!!! why didn't you make your own friends??? anyone else have the same feelings? i feel just like i did back in high school when i was shy and quiet and didn't have a lot of friends... Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 I did exactly as you did. Surrounded my whole life around my ExH. I realize now what a huge mistake it was, and hopefully i'll learn never to do this again. I've been very blessed with making friends with my coworkers. Even tho I never hung out with them before, I find that I can go to them for help/advice or just to hang out. Do you work? Go to school? Find someone who you know on a daily basis and ask them "Do you have any plans this weekend? I've been too cooped in my house and would love to get out. Do you want to do something?" Most people would be flattered that you want to do something with them and they'll say sure! Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Ding, ding, ding! Me. Of course, she didn't have any friends so I dumped all my friends for her. And now I don't have her OR any of my friends..... Link to post Share on other sites
bicyclejunk Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 I hear ya. It's tough. You have to make some friends at work, school, church, wherever you go. Even if it's just fond acquantances. Sometimes they turn into friendships, you never know. Can't relate to the Ex's Friends kinda thing, But Did date a girl who's brothers, i really hit it off with. I hung out with all of them and I loved her family. She broke up with me suddenly, when I thought everything was great, because she wanted to keep her options open and said she was too young and wanted to be free and have fun. She was 20 at the time. So needless to say, i was bummed because, that meant it was just too weird to continue hanging with her brothers. Find your own Crew. Try volunteering somewhere or Taking a class at a local college or just branching out and making friends. It couldn't hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author latefragment Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 thanks for the replies, i've definitely been rekindling old friendships and trying to make new ones, but it is hard... because i miss all of the ex's friends, they seem so much cooler, where do i find friends like that? i don't mean to sound whiny, but i like to do certain activities - outdoorsy type, etc., that all my "old" friends aren't into doing and really don't have any inclination to do anyway. and that's fine, i don't want to change my "old" friends - i like them the way they are. my old friends are perfect for lazy days, kicking back, hanging out at home and relaxing or watching a movie ... now i just have to figure out how to make friends with more outdoorsy, outgoing, active, energetic social types... i feel like a loser cause i don't know people like that... and i haven't a clue where to find them... maybe i'm going to have to go through a "breakup" process of anger, denial, depression over losing the ex's cool friends too!!!!! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 I'm not really into outdoorsy stuff myself, although I'm starting to reevaluate everything in my life and willing to try new things. But you might be able to find some organizations, single meetings that do outdoorsy stuff. I've heard about single's hikes. Sounds cool Link to post Share on other sites
sg Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 (Sunshinegirl here. Forgot my password so am using 'sg') Hey, I'm also dealing with the loss of my ex's friends...cool, fun people that I was so excited to get to know better. I'm also in MA (Boston) and am trying to get to know people through church. Am also trying to start exercising again and will hopefully meet people through some races this summer. Sadly, I haven't met people yet that seem quite as 'cool' and fun as my ex's friends (or my ex for that matter!!!) but I have to keep plodding on. Quality people will eventually make their way into my life. Yours too! Link to post Share on other sites
Isabella82 Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 I can relate to this too. I grew very close to my ex's friends and now I don't talk to them. It is hard, and I miss them too. What is also hard is that I miss his family all the time. Especially his aunt and his mom. I grew so attached because my mother is ill, and not able to do things. His mom and I would just chit chat for hours and cook together etc.... Its difficult. I also gave up all of my friends to see him more. You will find friends, I find a lot through work or school. And I have called all of my old friends already and they all stuck by me. I know what it feels like to be lonely, my first year of college was like that too and it sucks. But it will get better. Join a sport, my roommate is in softball. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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