juniorrocha Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 (edited) So today is Valentine's day here in Brazil. I just got home from a party which was awesome, I kissed 6 girls and one of them was coming over my place, but I told her to go home because I can't do this anymore. I feel so weak. It's been 24 days since I broke up with my ex, what I know is still very recent, and since that happened I've tried to fill the void with random girls, by kissing or having sex. I already lost counts, but I'm somewhere around 15 different girls. NONE of them gets even close to what my ex was. Everything feels so wrong, the touching, the kisses, hell even sex (sex with my ex wasn't the best ever, but I'd much rather that than what I've tried so far after the BU). I know you guys are going to say that I should stop hooking up with randoms. But it eats me inside to think that she's doing that while I'm sitting home watching TV. I know this should be about me, but I keep falling into that old trick that gets me wanting to compete with her so I don't feel like I'm losing out on something. I don't know, I'm just not well. I almost cried like a baby when the band played "Creep" by Radiohead tonight. That's the break up song for me, 'cause of the way she made me feel that night when we had a big argument and broke up, although later on I realized I'm not really a creep. Meh, everything is so confusing. I just want to run back to her and have her in my arms again, 'cause even with all the mistakes and red flags of our relationship, it still felt like I was home. I miss holding her to sleep, 'cause then nothing else mattered anymore. What's about all the 7 billions hugs and kisses I could have if none of them are from the one that I want? I was doing so well, I hope I wake up feeling better, needed to vent. Edited June 12, 2016 by juniorrocha Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 By Brazilian standards you are coping appropriately. I remember Valentine's day parties there. Anyways sorry to hear it is hard coping with your loss. I know how awkward it feels being with someone but wishing it was still the ex. I'm avoiding hooking up as a coping mechanism as it feels awful when you're not really present at the party so to speak. Be good to yourself and your body. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author juniorrocha Posted June 13, 2016 Author Share Posted June 13, 2016 Yeah, I'm considering taking a huge break from hooking up. It feels very weird. Not that it's not good, but it feels wrong, I can't truly connect and my ex always pop in my head. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Deep breathes, dude. You're way over thinking this. Hooking up once or twice is a good way to possibly realize you have outgrown the sex-only relationship. I don't think this is even about your ex as much as it being about wanting someone in your life. If you are half as good at dating as you are hooking up with chicks you should be able to score a decent girlfriend who will treat you well. Start there and start over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author juniorrocha Posted June 13, 2016 Author Share Posted June 13, 2016 I'm doing better now. But I decided to take a break from hooking up with randoms. Going to work on myself and career from now until I realize I no longer feel attached to my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
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