No one has ever loved me back...

[Eddie Gonzales]

Hey guys,

 

Just wanted to share this somewhere.

 

Most of my friends see me as this rock that will always help them out and support them, my family does too. I always try to be the strongest of the bunch, so I couldn't tell them what I'm about to tell you.

 

I don't know if it's random or just bad luck, but my love life has been a mess. I've never had problems getting girls and most ended up falling in love with me. Sadly, I never feel the same way.

 

There have been three girls that I've REALLY liked, two of them I've been in love with. All three cases ended with me getting dumped for another guy. I know that happens all the time around the world, however I can't help but feel like I'm the only one experiencing the following.

 

All three cases where *I* felt something for the girl ended because the girl realized she didn't love me at all during our time together.

 

The first one I fell deeply in love with I was a rebound for. The second I fell really in love with was dating me and another dude (who she later chose), and the most recent one is a girl who I had an on/off fling with that ended with her saying "I don't feel anything for you."

 

I'm a little sad, because my biggest wish is for someone to finally love me back I'm 27 years old and I have never been loved back.

 

I often see couples on the street and think to myself "How does HE do that? How does he make her crazy about him? Does he play games? Is he playing hard to get? Is he just being himself like me? How does SHE love him like that?"

 

When I get asked what my biggest wish or goal in life is, I say random stuff like "good job," "money" or "nice car", but I think quietly in my head: "To be loved back. To have a girl be crazy about me."

 

I know some people are just destined to be forever alone, but I really hope that's not the case with me. My friends go out to get sex, I go out to find love.

 

I know I sound like a wuss, but I just wanted someone to hear me out I just don't understand it, that's all. Thank you SO MUCH for reading this. I really appreciate it.

 

Now I'll log off, put on my mask and go back to reality. Maybe I'll experience it one day, who knows?

[CarrieT]

How old are you?

[Larryville]

"To be loved back. To have a girl be crazy about me."

 

Take a step back... You need professional help and serious counseling. This is NOT about finding or getting a girl to love you. MUCH deeper and NOBODY here can or is qualified in any way to help you with that.

[DreamP]

27! You are way too young to be complaining about this.

 

You yourself say girls have loved you.

 

The 2 out of the 3 relationships you mention don't really sound serious. One was an on/off thing. The other was still while you were dating other people. Really!

 

Maybe your problem is that you are not genuine. Why would you lie when asked what you really want in life. You probably bring that same deception to your relationships so women have a difficult time connecting with you.

[Mjm1014]

Hey man, I can totally relate to you. I'm 28 and have had some horrible luck the past few years. One thing I can tell you, just be yourself, and treat the girls you like just like the girls you really don't like at least in the beginning.

 

I usually would fall fast for a girl which caused me to constantly text, ask them to hang out, and overall I kept in too much contact which drove them away. Add some mystery. For instance, you go on a date and hit it off well with a girl...let her contact you first after the date and make her wonder a little about you. Keep busy too so you aren't bombarding them with tons of attention..the last few failures were directly caused because I was over-eager so I'm trying to change that and it seems to be working a little. Also, ditch the texting as much as possible...for some reason at our age, it seems like the more I text a girl, the more she gets turned off. So, I may send a "hope your day is going well" text once or twice a week but besides that, I just call them or text them to meet up and usually they are more than happy to hang out. Just play it cool basically.

 

Second, watch Coach Corey Wayne on YouTube or even download his book...it's good and he's not like most pick up artists that play "games"...just gives you good stuff to think about.

 

Lastly, realize that you aren't alone..don't settle until you meet a girl that loves you back. It may be a wait, but it's better than being in a lukewarm relationship where you aren't 100% satisfied. We are young..don't sweat it.

[deadparrot]

I've been in a similar situation. I'm far from a knockout, but I've had my fair share of guys interested in me; however, the only two I truly loved didn't reciprocate. I've always wanted someone to share my life with and honestly began to question whether that would ever happen for me.

 

No guy had ever told me he loved me until I was 28 and met my current boyfriend. So yeah, sometimes it takes a while for the stars to align. I know it's not the advice you want to hear, but be patient.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Hey guys,

 

Just wanted to share this somewhere.

 

Most of my friends see me as this rock that will always help them out and support them, my family does too. I always try to be the strongest of the bunch, so I couldn't tell them what I'm about to tell you.

 

I don't know if it's random or just bad luck, but my love life has been a mess. I've never had problems getting girls and most ended up falling in love with me. Sadly, I never feel the same way.

 

There have been three girls that I've REALLY liked, two of them I've been in love with. All three cases ended with me getting dumped for another guy. I know that happens all the time around the world, however I can't help but feel like I'm the only one experiencing the following.

 

All three cases where *I* felt something for the girl ended because the girl realized she didn't love me at all during our time together.

 

The first one I fell deeply in love with I was a rebound for. The second I fell really in love with was dating me and another dude (who she later chose), and the most recent one is a girl who I had an on/off fling with that ended with her saying "I don't feel anything for you."

 

I'm a little sad, because my biggest wish is for someone to finally love me back I'm 27 years old and I have never been loved back.

 

I often see couples on the street and think to myself "How does HE do that? How does he make her crazy about him? Does he play games? Is he playing hard to get? Is he just being himself like me? How does SHE love him like that?"

 

When I get asked what my biggest wish or goal in life is, I say random stuff like "good job," "money" or "nice car", but I think quietly in my head: "To be loved back. To have a girl be crazy about me."

 

I know some people are just destined to be forever alone, but I really hope that's not the case with me. My friends go out to get sex, I go out to find love.

 

I know I sound like a wuss, but I just wanted someone to hear me out I just don't understand it, that's all. Thank you SO MUCH for reading this. I really appreciate it.

 

Now I'll log off, put on my mask and go back to reality. Maybe I'll experience it one day, who knows?

 

Those couples that you see, do you really think they are all crazy in both sided love? In most relationships at least one person is not in love. Crazy reciprocal love is actually very hard to find and a lot of times it's fleeting. People end up with someone they can tolerate.

 

I am a lot older than you and I have never experienced it.

[Eddie Gonzales]

Hey man, I can totally relate to you. I'm 28 and have had some horrible luck the past few years. One thing I can tell you, just be yourself, and treat the girls you like just like the girls you really don't like at least in the beginning.

 

I usually would fall fast for a girl which caused me to constantly text, ask them to hang out, and overall I kept in too much contact which drove them away. Add some mystery. For instance, you go on a date and hit it off well with a girl...let her contact you first after the date and make her wonder a little about you. Keep busy too so you aren't bombarding them with tons of attention..the last few failures were directly caused because I was over-eager so I'm trying to change that and it seems to be working a little. Also, ditch the texting as much as possible...for some reason at our age, it seems like the more I text a girl, the more she gets turned off. So, I may send a "hope your day is going well" text once or twice a week but besides that, I just call them or text them to meet up and usually they are more than happy to hang out. Just play it cool basically.

 

Second, watch Coach Corey Wayne on YouTube or even download his book...it's good and he's not like most pick up artists that play "games"...just gives you good stuff to think about.

 

Lastly, realize that you aren't alone..don't settle until you meet a girl that loves you back. It may be a wait, but it's better than being in a lukewarm relationship where you aren't 100% satisfied. We are young..don't sweat it.

Thanks for the advice, man! Means a lot.

 

That said, I know someone (a girl) who has been texting back and forth with a guy for MONTHS before they met and she didn't lose interest. In fact, she began feeling something for him before they even met!

 

Although I get what you're saying, most couples out there start out texting all day and night and somehow they still end up together. So while that coach sounds like he knows what he's talking about, most people's relationships start out with texting about nothing all the time. Even services like Tinder start with texting for sometimes weeks before meeting up.

 

Like I said, my friend is the latest example of how these rules don't apply to 90 percent of the public. It's strange but it's true.

[TunaInTheBrine]

Hey guys,

"How does HE do that? How does he make her crazy about him? Does he play games?

 

Yes.

 

Is he playing hard to get?

 

Yes.

 

Is he just being himself like me?

 

Yourself is whoever you convince yourself you are, so yes.

 

When I get asked what my biggest wish or goal in life is, I say random stuff like "good job," "money" or "nice car", but I think quietly in my head: "To be loved back. To have a girl be crazy about me."

 

I hear ya, bro. I have achieved virtually all of the professional, financial, and personal fulfillment goals I set out for myself when I was in my early 20s. I'm now in my early 30s. Guess what? I've gotten laid a TON, but still haven't found 'her'. I am slowly giving up on the whole wife/kids/traditional model of relationships thing.

Edited June 8, 2016 by TunaInTheBrine

[preraph]

I think a lot of people have that problem. Most of my life I could have said "We're both in love with the same person." I loved, loved, loved, lost, lost, got leaned on, got cheated on, got lingering male friends who didn't want me but didn't want anyone else to have me. I do think some of it is bad luck. But one observation I've made over a lifetime is those who seem to not be very passionate and are also not very picky are often the ones who stay in a relationship a long time. I think for them companionship of just about any type is preferable to being alone. And I was never like that.

[Eddie Gonzales]

I think a lot of people have that problem. Most of my life I could have said "We're both in love with the same person." I loved, loved, loved, lost, lost, got leaned on, got cheated on, got lingering male friends who didn't want me but didn't want anyone else to have me. I do think some of it is bad luck. But one observation I've made over a lifetime is those who seem to not be very passionate and are also not very picky are often the ones who stay in a relationship a long time. I think for them companionship of just about any type is preferable to being alone. And I was never like that.

I get that totally. I'm very picky, which is why I rarely fall in love. Everyone around me break up and find someone new some three months later. I never could. It always takes me a hell of a long time to get over someone, and in the meantime I have many rebounds. I never enter any relationship with them though.

 

I think I get too attached to the girls I fall for. Then when it's over they're ALWAYS the first ones to find someone new and then I get more hurt when I find out she's moved on.

[preraph]

I get that totally. I'm very picky, which is why I rarely fall in love. Everyone around me break up and find someone new some three months later. I never could. It always takes me a hell of a long time to get over someone, and in the meantime I have many rebounds. I never enter any relationship with them though.

 

I think I get too attached to the girls I fall for. Then when it's over they're ALWAYS the first ones to find someone new and then I get more hurt when I find out she's moved on.

 

Yep, sounds very familiar! For me, I was pretty autonomous when a child and teen and had a lot of freedom to run around out in the country on horseback and scooters and by myself or with one riding buddy. I entertained myself a lot. I did get bored when young, but nonetheless I built skills how to entertain myself and I always liked a fair amount of alone time, punctuated by excitement and socializing. I wasn't domestic (I really kind of am now in my old age, but not totally) and I didn't want someone around 24/7 at any point in my life. But when I fell for someone, I fell hard and like you, had a hard time getting over it.

 

I know both men and women who really don't ever like to be alone, and they always have a mate, but the two that come to mind that I know the best, their mates are batcrap crazy messed up.

 

I know there's couples out there with a healthy balance, but honestly, I can think of only one at this very moment.

[juniorrocha]

I feel you. I'm currently 25. Before meeting my ex, I was pretty desperate. Any girl I liked a tiny bit I'd be already trying to pursue a relationship. I'm not the type to go around looking for women only for sex, I wanted to date. I fell in love with 3 women, but two of them didn't want anything with me. On another note, I've had a good number of women falling in love with me and I wouldn't feel the same. I have doubts regarding my ex; sometimes I think she never really loved me.

 

After breaking up though, and even during my previous relationship, I realized how clingy, needy and desperate I was. Now I would definitely take things way slower. I suppose that helps when you want something to last.

 

My advice is, be cool about yourself and don't be desperate to find love. It will come eventually. And when you meet someone you really like, don't chase them too much; let them come for you.

[bummer]

Be patient and be consistent. You're still growing so let that happen and don't rush it. Good girls will come and love will be shared. Just don't expect every tinder hit to be the one. You'll find her when you aren't looking.

 

I'm trying to follow this advice myself.