Hoosfoos Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 I thought I was doing everything right. Strict NC. Developing myself. Trying to be a better person. All that. I have already been having a really s#itty week, without going into details. Just feeling lost, lonely and useless. It's carried over to this weekend. And then..on my way to a job interview there was her car, parked in front of a friend of her's place. I had no idea that after avoiding her for so long that I would get so triggered by such a sight. She was obviously parked there so she could ride on her bike, it's such a beautiful day here. But it's not with me. Things have been consistently s#itty since she left - idiot friends, bat**** crazy family, no money, no dates and a humiliating encounter with some other girl, and struggling with career and future. She gets off scott free and has everything she needs. Had no idea that I would be still feeling this way after so long. This isn't normal. FML, f*ck this world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
andrem11 Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 Hoosfoos you're not alone. I've been no contact for 25 days now. My ex broke up with me and 3 weeks later she was sleeping with someone new and she's still seeing this guy. It ****ing sucks that she moved on and is happy already when I can't even emotionally invest in a girl even if she likes me. We will both get through this with time, even if it sucks now. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted June 4, 2016 Share Posted June 4, 2016 I know your pain very well brother. I started working out again, got a new car, new clothes, now working on getting a better job. I was doing so well. Friday, I had a dream. I pulled up in a shopping center and said to myself, man I want some food im hungry. walk into a place and wait online. In my dream I see my ex gf with another guy getting food. I woke up in a panic. The feelings of rage and sadness just flooded my body. The whole day at work on friday, even at night in the gym and into today, I feel right back where I started 5 months ago. sadness, lack of energy, anger, feeling lonely, you name it. she dumped me so I know she is doing fine. I know for a fact she is doing fine and living her life. I am trying to live mine as well. But this dream just set me back. usually the person who does the dumping isn't at all that sad. I went above and beyond for this girl. I got canned bro. I just keep telling myself that time heals all. Let time do its thing. Nothing lasts forever. Everything will come to an end. sadness, sickness, anything....will go away. The pain is real. I know 5 Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Instead of the Breakfast Club, this should be the Breakup-bros Club. I'm in the same boat. Three weeks out she has a new guy and I'm left tracking down bits of my heart to put back together. Strange triggers to my emotions but I'm glad I'm getting more angry than sad now. Progress? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
andrem11 Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 @bummer **** her dude. I'm at the same point. Some hours I hate her guts, but other times I miss her like crazy. The anger is definitely better than the sadness though and a sign that we are improving. We will find better someday, and for them karma will eventually come back to bite them. Stick to no contact and turn into the best version of yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wellimhere Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Same boat here man .my girl of 2.5 years just one day went cold on me , i asked what's wrong she said '' oh nothing just work stuff '' i simply asked '' if theirs someone else you want to be with ,or someone else you're interested in ? just let me know o.k. . she said right to my face '' no that's silly '' .next day driving past her house i see a guy walking down her drive way to her , they hug n kiss .go in the house .i felt DEAD . haven't been in contact with her for 2 weeks now . supposed to see her this week to talk [ she'll lie to my face ] and i'll maybe not so politely ask her to leave . sucks it was a girl i actually loved unconditionally . what's with these females we're meeting and falling for ??????? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Instead of the Breakfast Club, this should be the Breakup-bros Club. I'm in the same boat. Three weeks out she has a new guy and I'm left tracking down bits of my heart to put back together. Strange triggers to my emotions but I'm glad I'm getting more angry than sad now. Progress? yes we should make this thread the breakup bros club! lol we all seem like good guys so maybe we can help each other out 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Same boat here man .my girl of 2.5 years just one day went cold on me , i asked what's wrong she said '' oh nothing just work stuff '' i simply asked '' if theirs someone else you want to be with ,or someone else you're interested in ? just let me know o.k. . she said right to my face '' no that's silly '' .next day driving past her house i see a guy walking down her drive way to her , they hug n kiss .go in the house .i felt DEAD . haven't been in contact with her for 2 weeks now . supposed to see her this week to talk [ she'll lie to my face ] and i'll maybe not so politely ask her to leave . sucks it was a girl i actually loved unconditionally . what's with these females we're meeting and falling for ??????? man, I was talking about this last night at my buddies cigar shop. were talking and all of us are just like, what the hell is wrong with these women? My boy who owns the cigar shop got burned man. Ran over and she didnt even look back to see if he was ok. we are not perfect. Guys are at fault too. But it just seems there are more guys that are getting dumped in just the worst ways. Heartless women man. I have no idea how we are meeting them. I'm a nice guy. My girl ruined my life. I have no idea if I can give 100% anymore. I really don't know. Lies lies and more lies were spoon fed to me. And I, like a child, just took it all in and smiled and got blinded. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
andrem11 Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 You will one day man. Before I went off to college, I broke up in an awful way with my girlfriend at the time. Hardly gave her any closure, just dropped off the face of the Earth because I was so sick of her. Looking back at it, I feel terrible about it because now I know what it feels like. Every now and then we reconnect, and she told me she was devastated and wouldn't find anyone as good as me. Now that very same girl is with a guy who makes her very happy. I assume she'll get married to him. If I could go back, I would have handled it differently, but we all make mistakes right. Perhaps this is me getting my dose of karma? But moral of the story is, if you don't think you'll be able to trust fully again you will. It will just take some time to find that right person. For her it took about 2 years. Moral of the story is, even if it feels like you can't right now, you will be able to give 100% again someday. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wellimhere Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 trusting now is really going to have to be earned after hurt like we're going through .like respect you earn it .going to be real hard to really open up to someone now and let them know your pain and secrets, but keeping it in isn't good either .it's just really confusing . SORANO your from Italy right ? me born in Milan , then moved to N.Y. yrs ago Link to post Share on other sites
FTM042014 Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Right there with you guys. It's been a year since my ex girl dumped me out of nowhere. Got with some ex she never mentioned 2 months later. Been with him ever since. They have been together for a year in August. She's happy and in love while I still struggle sometimes. If you listen to women you'd think they're all angels that have to deal with horrible men hurting them. They never talk about how awful they can be towards us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 trusting now is really going to have to be earned after hurt like we're going through .like respect you earn it .going to be real hard to really open up to someone now and let them know your pain and secrets, but keeping it in isn't good either .it's just really confusing . SORANO your from Italy right ? me born in Milan , then moved to N.Y. yrs ago It will not be easy. Yes I was born in Italy. Link to post Share on other sites
wellimhere Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 . If you listen to women you'd think they're all angels that have to deal with horrible men hurting them. They never talk about how awful they can be towards us. FTM that's what i don't understand either man .the females friends aren't saying to them that their doing wrong . Mine i guess because she's with another guy [ has been seeing him while we were dating ]i guess they are pushing us out of their memorys or minds and focusing on the new guy so we don't exist,like our time together meant nothing to them.and it hurts us like hell Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Right there with you guys. It's been a year since my ex girl dumped me out of nowhere. Got with some ex she never mentioned 2 months later. Been with him ever since. They have been together for a year in August. She's happy and in love while I still struggle sometimes. If you listen to women you'd think they're all angels that have to deal with horrible men hurting them. They never talk about how awful they can be towards us. My girl told me about her past. She cried and told me all this bull****. She even told me that she was glad to have gone through all that bc it led her to me. She lied to my parents. She came in my home and portrayed herself like she was going to marry me. All lies. In a split moment her mind changed and I was cut off. What a heartless beast. I know for a fact she's doing ok. Me, I'm home trying to cope and feeling sad and depressed. Isn't life a bitch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
broodneach Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 (edited) It's just so easy for women to find the next guy. Even [promiscuous] [cruel] women are in such high demand. And it's harder for men to tell stories about being hurt, or in pain, and everyone believes women when they say they've been victimized in relationships. Edited June 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language. Corrected per member advisory. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity_84 Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 This thread is full of disgusting generalizations. Link to post Share on other sites
wellimhere Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 (edited) This thread is full of disgusting generalizations. HOW'S that ? it's what we've been through , it's our stories of why we're hurting no ones '' generalizing '' anything not saying all the women , just the ones we happened to meet and fall for that turned on us Edited June 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
broodneach Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 This thread is full of disgusting generalizations. I'm really sorry if what I said was hurtful. I know lots of women experience really deep heartbreak and don't move on immediately, and that a lot of men hurt women in relationships. I'm just trying to express my own history with dating, which is that women seem to be on to the next thing very quickly and I end up in a rut for months or years. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Let's get back to the topic of the thread and focus on it and without derogatory language. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
broodneach Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Hi all. Very sorry if I caused a problem in this thread. I'm new here and hurting from a breakup and don't want to start out on the wrong foot. I just want to clarify that the word I typed, which was rendered "****ty" by the site and then edited to "[promiscuous]", was not meant to denote promiscuity at all but was another word that starts with S and ends with TY, and denotes a resemblance to a certain bodily function. I understand if that's also not a great thing to call someone and if it's against the rules, but I want to make it clear that I didn't mean to criticize promiscuous people, but people for whom that other word would fit (e.g. selfish, cruel, etc.). Sorry again and thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Thanks for the clarification and the alternative was noted in your private communication because we don't discuss personal account issues on the forum. I'll edit your post and you and everyone else are reminded of our guidelines regarding language here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 I thought I was doing everything right. Strict NC. Developing myself. Trying to be a better person. All that. I have already been having a really s#itty week, without going into details. Just feeling lost, lonely and useless. It's carried over to this weekend. And then..on my way to a job interview there was her car, parked in front of a friend of her's place. I had no idea that after avoiding her for so long that I would get so triggered by such a sight. She was obviously parked there so she could ride on her bike, it's such a beautiful day here. But it's not with me. Things have been consistently s#itty since she left - idiot friends, bat**** crazy family, no money, no dates and a humiliating encounter with some other girl, and struggling with career and future. She gets off scott free and has everything she needs. Had no idea that I would be still feeling this way after so long. This isn't normal. FML, f*ck this world. I hope you will be ok. Its normal to see a trigger like her car and go through a hard time reliving some things since you are still healing. I think you are doing great. Losing a relationship takes a LONG time to process and feel better from. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hoosfoos Posted June 6, 2016 Author Share Posted June 6, 2016 (edited) My original post was that I continue to be in a chronic and perpetual state of grief, even after every grueling step I have taken to improve myself, and after all this time. I do not think it is normal. Edited June 6, 2016 by Hoosfoos Link to post Share on other sites
broodneach Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 My original post was that I continue to be in a chronic and perpetual state of grief, even after every grueling step I have taken to improve myself, and after all this time. I do not think it is normal. How long has it been? How long were you with your ex? The general rule is that it takes half the length of the relationship, but I think up to the entire length can be normal. Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Some hurt for a while. 5 months and I'm back to square one. Love hurts so much. It's torture when you loved someone and they break your heart. I wish we had a reset button to just wipe those memories away 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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