megan1012 Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 hi im new and have no idea if im even posting this in the right group if not please forgive me and let me know where i should put my post..so here goes my story.... I cheated on my husband with this other guy and ended up pregnant i will still living with my husband when i had the baby my dh is on the birth certificate as father and also has dh last name well i moved out of my husbands recently for a month and in that time went and lived with this other man. dh and i decide to try and make this marriage work so i went back home. well while i was with the other guy we did one of them home dna test and test came back to be that the baby is the other mans well now he is threating me that he is going to take me to court for visitation and custody..im wondering if this is possible they would grant him custody or even visitation??? i know it may be wrong of me but i don't want her to know that he is her father. my dh has raised her for all her life except 1 month and dh name is on everything with her. everyone is telling me since she was born in the marriage a judge is going to consider that she is my dh regardless but im finding it hard to believe...someone please give me some advice on what i should do or even how to handle this...btw i have stopped talking to the other man period.... Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 I don't mean to sound harsh...but don't you think that the "OM" who was good enough to sleep with and good enough for you to leave your "H" for a month to be with is good enough to see his daughter? Maybe being honest would be the best thing, if you're not honest now it will probably come out later on and be WORSE on everyone including your baby. Be honest!!! That is the best thing (IMHO). Link to post Share on other sites
Author megan1012 Posted March 5, 2005 Author Share Posted March 5, 2005 i have been honest with both sides my h does know about this and said that this is still his daughetr regardless...yes i do think he is good enough to see her but i just cant do it right now.... Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Okay now I see...You were very "unclear" in your original post if indeed your "H" knew about the paternity of your daughter.... Since he does then that changes everything. I understand that your husband wants to be the father regardless of the DNA BUT the birth father (if he wants) has a right to see his child...it shouldn't honestly matter what "YOU" want. It should be about what's best for your daughter! Link to post Share on other sites
Breathe Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Your H may be your child's Daddy, as blood doesn't always make someone a parent. However, OM IS INDEED the biological father to the child or "sperm donor". Therefore, he does have a legal right to visitation and joint legal custody. A Judge isn't going to deny a natural parent the right to care, love and be with his/her child unless he/she is extremely unfit. This will happen if he takes you to court, so it's best to start preparing yourself now. It's not your right to deny your child this either. IMO - it's wrong. Why would you want to lie to your child? "Mommy had an affair" - Big deal, sh*t happens! People make mistakes. It doesn't mean she/he is loved any less. You need to own up to your problems now and start taking responisblity for them 100% and not half ass it. What you don't deal with now will come back to bite you later. Link to post Share on other sites
morphius Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Blood doesn't make a daddy a father.... Link to post Share on other sites
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