My coping diary NC

[rayray1992]

Hello everyone

 

This is my first day of no contact and I just want to put this up so i can write up everyday how i'm feeling and how im coping , and id appreciate if anyone that wants to just comment as well and we can help each other.

 

Basically my girlfriend of 6 months (short but intense relationship) broke up with me a week and a half ago, we had to still keep in touch as we had to sort out a few holidays that we have booked and stuff, i then basically put my cards on the table with a voicemail and she didn't even say anything she just told me she needed space.

 

A couple of days after that she rang me and told me she feels less pressured when shes single and with everything going on in her life she doesn't want to be with me but still wants me as a friend

 

I told her no i can't be her friend , I wish i could but i can't be friends with someone i have feelings for , i've deleted her numbers, taken her off snapchat, facebook and instagram basically everything

 

 

HOW I'M FEELING TODAY- DAY 1

 

to be honest i'm a mixture of anger and upset, im angry because it feels like she walked away and gave up, i understood that she had alot of stressful things going on as i supported her through a lot of them but then it gets to hard and she drops me when i was nothing but supportive and yeah she just told everyone in my life how i was the one, and she would marry me and I was repairing her after her really bad relationship.....and then nothing

 

and obviously I'm upset as i've lost not only my girlfriend but my best friend and even after all this a part of me still wants her back and yeah natural feelings of loss and what not

 

however i did make a pros and cons list with my best friend as i know he would be very honest with me and it turned out to have

 

8 pros

26 cons

 

so that was a bit of an eye opener

[NTV]

sounds like writing it out is already doing wonders for opening your eyes. Sometimes in our heads we justify things as not as bad as they are until we see it on paper, then it's like the black and white of our own writing sinks in and... well you seem to have gotten it.

 

 

So... here's a tip from a long time journalist: write about at least one thing that made you happy a day, and at the end of the week look at them all. You learn all sorts of things about yourself and happiness that benefit you for years to come....

for example if I eat at my fav restaurant 1-2 times a week, it's freaking awesome. More than that, and it sucks the joy out of it. That's a pretty darn good thing to know, right? Not saying that this is the best example, but it's the one I'm willing to share... some things are personal.

 

 

Try it and see.

[rayray1992]

Only just got back so updates

 

DAY 2/DAY3

 

These were very weird days , my ex's best friend messaged me and told me that she is really ill and is in hospital, rather than message and go anxious and bombard with messages , I just asked her best friend to let me know if she improves , I do care a lot about her obviously but what can i do?

 

To be honest if she did pop up and needed to talk about her health and stuff then I don't think I would be able to ignore her as I know a lot more of what is going on so yeah , but we shall see

 

But i'm not going to message her as I need to back away myself

 

DAY 4

 

sort of a clarity for me today, as i realize I have more things to worry about i.e getting a part time job for my masters degree, passing my driving test

 

I don't have any power over the situation with my ex, i only have power iver my self and my life ,

 

I don't worry about the sun rising every day and i can't control that so why should i worry about what my ex is gonna do , sure if we got back together i'd at least talk about it ....but if we don't then well life goes on

[rayray1992]

Haven't been on here for a few days needed to take a break from the internet as it was getting to hard not to message the ex

 

It is really bad these last few days I just feel numb and flooded with memories , constantly checking my phone to see if she has messaged me etc

 

Although i know this is only temporary it still hurts really bad, but still NC i will keep this going.

[NTV]

Sorry for the late reply! It sounds like you could do with some good distraction. Is there a hobby you put on the backburner for this relationship? swimming, golfing, model planes, etc?