Ex Ruining my Friendships

[TooMuchThinking]

So...long story short.

 

Ex and I are in the same social circle. We had a terrible break-up. I was distraught and sad, did all the wrong things. Begged, cried, text him too much.

 

But a few weeks ago (start of Feb) I started to feel a lot better. I was going on dates, I realized what a terrible match we were. And generally I realized how much I didn't like him as a person. I also realized that I never got over my ex before him...and was using him as a rebound. The only reason I was so sad that he broke up with me was because I didnt want to face the pain of being alone.

 

But once I was over him...out of nowhere I started to receive harassing messages from random profiles on dating websites. I ignored for a few days, but it kept happening over and over again.

 

One day I logged on and had a message from a profile with my ex's name and photo - and the messages were mean and rude. I messaged my ex to let him know that someone was using his pictures on websites...I assumed it could not be him. To which my ex blew up and blocked me.

 

After that I got messaged 4 times a day every day for a week. Increasingly the messages had personal things about me in them that I didn't tell anyone but my boyfriend. So I figured it couldn't be anyone but him...or at least someone he knew.

 

I confronted him and told him I knew everything. And that I would file charges against him if he did not stop. I was so angry! I know I should have ignored...but I just couldn't. I sent a really mean email calling him out.

 

And now my ex is telling people that I am the one harassing him! When he was the one sending me messages! He is trying to turn all our friends against me, and talking bad about my character.

 

Just to note...I didn't tell anyone about him harassing me. I was too embarrassed, and I didn't want any drama! And now I look like I am causing drama.

 

I know I should have ignored his messages. But now I dont know what to do about our mutual friends. Should I just ignore it? And hope it blows over?

 

I dont want to launch a defense campaign against him. I'm just so sad that he is ruining my social life now. If I ignore do you think it will blow over eventually?

[Satu]

The truth is that you are both drama junkies.

 

This will calm down only when you completely cease putting energy into it.

 

Stop giving people something to talk about and they'll lose interest.

 

Also don't start new relationships before you tidy up the wreckage from the last one.

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means he might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of him on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying.