dealing with depression

[CasualDude10]

I have had a couple of things happen to me within the past week that are over whelming and no matter what I do, I can not seem to be happy. Here is what happened.

 

1. A girl that I had been seeing for a couple of months broke up with me. If you seen my posts last week, yes, I am still not over her. Apparently she had a broken relationship and since I had one slip up and got mad at her, she took it as a red flag and ran. I see her today because she is dropping off my clothes and its going to kill me. I have tried everything to get her back, and I am at a point where I can't. She was literally the most beautiful (not just physically) girl and I know I will not be able to find one like her. She would stay at my house, I would stay at hers. She would cook me food, tell me how awesome I am, call me her baby, and everything wonderful. I felt like she was the one, which was a huge mistake. I messed up, just like every other relationship I have had in the past. Convinced Ill never get a girl to stick around. All I want is to have her back... (21 years old and still never had a serious gf)

 

2. If my girl dumping me was not bad enough, I am a college baseball player at a small college. I am a junior and a two year returning starter. I am part of the reason for major success in our biggest games throughout our programs history. Anyways, our first game was last Friday and I come to find out that a transfer is now starting over me. We got a new coach that runs the show.

 

So the two biggest things in my life went for a turn for the worst. Absolute worst. This is probably the lowest point in my life I have ever reached. Nothing I do stops me from thinking about the girl, and once I get her off my mind I am thinking about baseball and that situation. Its even worse at night. I hardly get any sleep and when I do, I seem to dream about everything being like it was two weeks ago to wake up and come to the realization its not, and I am back to dwelling on the situation. I have never known myself to be so emotional about something, but when two things you loved are snatched from you, its hard to get over it.

 

Any piece of advice of how to stop thinking about everything? I have usually dealed with tough breakups in the past and got over them through baseball. It would help me forget and re-discover myself. But clearly I can't right now. I also know working out is a tool for this but I do regularly and it does not clear my mind. I did turn to alcohol for one night, but when the buzz was gone, the truth hit me 10x harder. I do not want to turn to drugs, but some people say that will help.

Edited February 14, 2016 by CasualDude10

[preraph]

As we become adults, one of the things that falls upon us is having to think about our futures. When more than one thing is going on -- and as adults -- especially when they marry and have kids -- it's always juggling a lot of stress. When we're depressed, we become less decisive and more worried and less functional and it's super easy to become overwhelmed thinking about everything at once or wondering what will happen next week.

 

I found it best to just worry about today. Just do your best to concentrate on today and give attention to whatever you have to today and make your best decision about today. Don't worry about what if I do that and then this happens. Nobody has more control over your life than you do. Don't ever forget that. So you just take the wheel and steer. Don't waste time worrying about anything that you do not have any control over, ever. There's just no point. But every day, think about the present situation and say to yourself, Can I put some more effort into this thing here and improve the situation or accomplish anything? If yes, take that first step to get around that obstacle. I have fought through a lot of obstacles to live my dream decades back. Nothing was bestowed. I had to go after it, focus on it, and take it.

 

If you find you're at a place where you are helpless to make any changes that would benefit you, then accept that and move on to something else. It's always best after a breakup to just make yourself go do things with friends, or find a new hobby, take up hiking, take a class, anything. Find a new avenue and keep moving.

 

As people we all have different standards and requirements and desires and preferences. That young lady saw something she was not willing to live with. That means she was not the right person for you or you were not the right person for her. It's rare that something like that can be repaired quickly because if you did something, your whole life led up to that point when you made that decision. She knows that. Most people know that. So saying you'll never do that again just doesn't hold water.

 

The only important thing is to learn from the breakup. Now you know you did something that was a dealbreaker to this girl. Now you can focus on why you did that and maybe with time, understand it and decide not to do that again to another girl. What you don't want to do is let this keep you at a standstill. Right now, it's just two months out of your life. Mourn it and then let it go and realize it just wasn't a match.

 

If you feel you're spinning out of control, by all means take advantage of the college counseling that is available. Give them a call and make an appointment.

[CasualDude10]

As we become adults, one of the things that falls upon us is having to think about our futures. When more than one thing is going on -- and as adults -- especially when they marry and have kids -- it's always juggling a lot of stress. When we're depressed, we become less decisive and more worried and less functional and it's super easy to become overwhelmed thinking about everything at once or wondering what will happen next week.

 

I found it best to just worry about today. Just do your best to concentrate on today and give attention to whatever you have to today and make your best decision about today. Don't worry about what if I do that and then this happens. Nobody has more control over your life than you do. Don't ever forget that. So you just take the wheel and steer. Don't waste time worrying about anything that you do not have any control over, ever. There's just no point. But every day, think about the present situation and say to yourself, Can I put some more effort into this thing here and improve the situation or accomplish anything? If yes, take that first step to get around that obstacle. I have fought through a lot of obstacles to live my dream decades back. Nothing was bestowed. I had to go after it, focus on it, and take it.

 

If you find you're at a place where you are helpless to make any changes that would benefit you, then accept that and move on to something else. It's always best after a breakup to just make yourself go do things with friends, or find a new hobby, take up hiking, take a class, anything. Find a new avenue and keep moving.

 

As people we all have different standards and requirements and desires and preferences. That young lady saw something she was not willing to live with. That means she was not the right person for you or you were not the right person for her. It's rare that something like that can be repaired quickly because if you did something, your whole life led up to that point when you made that decision. She knows that. Most people know that. So saying you'll never do that again just doesn't hold water.

 

The only important thing is to learn from the breakup. Now you know you did something that was a dealbreaker to this girl. Now you can focus on why you did that and maybe with time, understand it and decide not to do that again to another girl. What you don't want to do is let this keep you at a standstill. Right now, it's just two months out of your life. Mourn it and then let it go and realize it just wasn't a match.

 

If you feel you're spinning out of control, by all means take advantage of the college counseling that is available. Give them a call and make an appointment.

 

thanks, its such a horrible situation. all i can do is hope that time will cure it. in the mean time, its going to be a struggle to find something that interests me to keep my mind off of it.