SilentPrayer Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 I am going to break down. I cant seem to do it anymore. I BROKE up with my X. He really didnt appreciate my love. He didnt like me saying I loved him anymore. I started seeing this new guy, and I think about makeing love to my X when I am makeing love to him. I am dreaming of my X everyday. I think about him all the time. I want to go back and make everything right, and fix things with him. I cant seem to EVER get over him. This man is the love of my life, and the one thing that will KILL me. Should I go back to the X and talk things out? Should I continue to see the new man? OR just go to an ISLAND and be alone? lol..HELP me:) Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 its been a month that i broke up wit my x... and its basically almost the same situation as you hang in there!! dont give up lol. most likely if you guys get back together, the same problems will resurface and you might/probably break up again. its not worth it... have fun with this new guy... i met someone recently and the way this guy is- couldnt be compared to my X. well good luck anyways! let us know what happens Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted January 19, 2005 Author Share Posted January 19, 2005 Thanks, If I had a chance I would RAPE the hell out of my X this VERY SECOND. lol. I cant seem to stop thinking about his body and the way he loves me in bed. He is A GREAT lover, and I cant seem to find anyone that matches up to my NEW standuard of SEX....oh god....GRRRrrrr....he drives me wild~ He bring out the primate in me..lol. I think the new guy, knows I am still stuck on my x. BTW..the new guy, doesnt like to be ontop..I am always on top....WTF? I tried talking and he did try it out a fiew times...but he says its a turn on for me to be ontop. I really need it bad.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted January 19, 2005 Author Share Posted January 19, 2005 IF I could get some advice...more advice really... I cant focus..my work is going down the drain.. I cant work on my novel... I am loseing grip on things Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 hmmm...i hear ya girl... my x was amazing in the sack too but u could always teach someone exactly what u want in bed u know?!! when theres a will, theres a way! try doggy or side by side position so you both are putting in ur part. um... i think of my x occasionally every day but i just try to keep in mind that i can do better than him .. AND I WILL!!! he didnt appreciate how much i loved him or what i did for him and thats what made me end it. he wasnt worth all this effort so i got tired of it and got rid of him. i hear he likes this younger girl now but that doesnt bother me b/c i doubt anyone would put up with what i did. with this new guy i met, we didnt even kiss yet so atleast you got a rebound!!! haha u go girl! lol... but u guys broke up over a good reason right? i mean if u got back together with him do u think things would change or stay the same? me n my x have been on & off and when we got back together everything was great. then it just died out and after like 2 weeks things were the exact same way again. i got bored of it... if you think he is truely worth it then give it another shot. has he called you since you guys broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
Urban Rubble01 Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Well, it couldn't hurt to talk things out with the ex. I'd advise that you guys get together and have a LONG SERIOUS talk. Get him to tell you why he seemed so unloving. Explain to him how you feel, analyze how HE feels, and judge whether or not you two love each other and are MATURE enough to make it work. If you love him and he loves you, work it out. If not, I'd say to end it with the new guy until you really ARE over the ex. As far as sex, well, first off, it's reassuring for me to hear that good sex is weighing so heavily on your decision ! Haha, I say that because my ex and I are "on a break" at her initiation. I KNOW that I'm more than adequate in bed, so hopefully she's putting as much importance in it as you are. lol. Anyway, if the new guy isn't getting it done, either try to teach him or find someone else. From what I understand, generally people either "have it" in bed, or they don't. Sex is something that's hard to teach someone, so if he's naturally bad at it I'm sceptical as to how well "teaching" him would work. OR, you could head out to Seattle and I'll take care of you, free of charge ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by NiCoLe20 hmmm...i hear ya girl... my x was amazing in the sack too but u could always teach someone exactly what u want in bed u know?!! when theres a will, theres a way! try doggy or side by side position so you both are putting in ur part. um... i think of my x occasionally every day but i just try to keep in mind that i can do better than him .. AND I WILL!!! he didnt appreciate how much i loved him or what i did for him and thats what made me end it. he wasnt worth all this effort so i got tired of it and got rid of him. i hear he likes this younger girl now but that doesnt bother me b/c i doubt anyone would put up with what i did. with this new guy i met, we didnt even kiss yet so atleast you got a rebound!!! haha u go girl! lol... but u guys broke up over a good reason right? i mean if u got back together with him do u think things would change or stay the same? me n my x have been on & off and when we got back together everything was great. then it just died out and after like 2 weeks things were the exact same way again. i got bored of it... if you think he is truely worth it then give it another shot. has he called you since you guys broke up? OK! HERE WE GO~ He is trully amazing in the sack. He is wonderfull in person, he makes me smile. He is very conciderate but likes to always be thanked. Im not talking a parade, but to let him know he is doing a good thing. He likes his space, "as do I". Believe me, I like my space. We NEVER argue, NEVER swear at eachother, NEVER ever ever get physically abusive, BUT..........he makes SNIDE~ Remarks like "oh did you get a new boyfriend"...or "Were you out with your little boyfriend"...he is also really judgemental of my GUY friends....he calls them names and stuff. That is most of the reason why WE broke up. He says the (N) word, which rides me like you wouldnt believe. I really hate that word.. He is just sometimes PIG headed, but when It comes down to me and his friends/family he is really really nice. He just has a chip on his shoulder he only shows around me....towards people he dont like. ALSO GET THIS! HE doesnt....HARDLY....EVER...let me ontop...lol. Unlike the new guy who doesnt like to be ONTOP. Im not pick in the sack, but I would like someone to just make love to me....not **** me crazy, or make me do ALL the work~ The funny thing is...I drive the new guy wild...he likes me ontop. MY X says, ITS CAUSE HE LOVES TO LOOK AT ME, and he KNOWS I like it fast....and he can go faster then me. ANother PROB~ I used to give him head all the time..."I never got it back HARDLY as much". SEX...is a BIG....BIG...PART...in a relationship...and It aint all about that...lol. I love the X..far more...then these mynute words can comprehend. I do I do, I would have his BABY dammit~ The new guy,.....I sometimes feel like he is only good to get off:( I dont like that...I wouldnt want someone to do that to me Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Urban Rubble01 Well, it couldn't hurt to talk things out with the ex. I'd advise that you guys get together and have a LONG SERIOUS talk. Get him to tell you why he seemed so unloving. Explain to him how you feel, analyze how HE feels, and judge whether or not you two love each other and are MATURE enough to make it work. If you love him and he loves you, work it out. If not, I'd say to end it with the new guy until you really ARE over the ex. As far as sex, well, first off, it's reassuring for me to hear that good sex is weighing so heavily on your decision ! Haha, I say that because my ex and I are "on a break" at her initiation. I KNOW that I'm more than adequate in bed, so hopefully she's putting as much importance in it as you are. lol. Anyway, if the new guy isn't getting it done, either try to teach him or find someone else. From what I understand, generally people either "have it" in bed, or they don't. Sex is something that's hard to teach someone, so if he's naturally bad at it I'm sceptical as to how well "teaching" him would work. OR, you could head out to Seattle and I'll take care of you, free of charge ! Hey there, I have tried to talk things out with the X. He wont listen to me, he says that I always say something to PISS him off and that it happens everytime. I try to make him exsplain and he wont. He has never yelled at me and he recently told me that he doesnt like to have CONFLICT between us caus he is scared that he will YELL at me and upsett me. I am an understanding person, really...nothing can shock me anymore. I am totally not a femanist but I believe in POWER...I am not a Liberal...but I believe we are toally equal. I am perfect with this guy. He makes me want to succeed, and become someone GREAT~ IF he had stayed with me and we had worked this out~ I would have made him great:) He is equally supportive, and loveing...I wish I had a pic to show you all..He is handsome:) anyways,....im DIEING inside without this guy...I really really miss him. I am so scared to call him, im afraid of rejection. what to do? meantime...the NEW GUY....is trying his best to hang onto me. "he knows im still inlove"..and he told me " he will help me out of it". aww... OK...my FLIGHT~ on the AeroPlane leaves in 10 I will see you in a fiew hours:) jk Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 How's it going SilentPrayer? Any news? I'm kind of curious because I hear echoes of my situation here. My girlfriend dumped me 4 weeks back but has signalled that she really misses me... especially in the bedroom And an insight: I'm really pissed off at her for dumping me on New Year's Eve, so we had a blazing row when she tried to bring some stuff up - I really scared her. But you know, the reason I'm so angry is that I really would like to have her back - I'm just not keen to let her back too easily. I'd melt if she came back in a few weeks and just started being nice, friendly and fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Spira Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Sorry, I didn't read through *all* of the follow-up posts, but what I think is that you are hung up over your ex because of the sex. However, the sex won't get you very far - you have to have your other needs (emotional, spiritual, whatever) fulfilled as well, and it sounds like you did not get that with him. There is too much emphasis on sexuality, and not on the other aspects of a relationship, which are equally as important. I believe that you can find somebody that treats you like a queen in life and gives you everything you want in bed. But you probably won't give anyone else a chance unless you resolve issues with your ex & let him go. Sorry if I'm rambling. I had a couple of drinks... Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted January 28, 2005 Author Share Posted January 28, 2005 Allright here is how it goes. We lose contact, as in "no contacting" eachother. I break down one day and ass him to my msn list again. "I never see him online" I dont know if he accepted it or not. His space in my contact list is still "going by his e-mail address" and not a nic name like usual. So I never speak to him. Then I decided to send an e-mail. Innocent and nice, just told him to stop the NO CONTACT thing and just say hi to me as a friend once in a while. Then one heartwrenching day I called him to say hello and he DID NOT answer. I hung=up and I honestly dropped on my bed and I was about to cry and he called. Within 1 minute of me calling he called. The convo goes: (me)Hey, (him) hey, (me) I just called you, why didnt you answer? (him) I am driving I didnt make it to the phone ontime. I looked at the number and I didnt know who's it was so I called back. (me) Oh I see, well I just called to see how you are doing. (him)Im doing good, but right now I am driving and the roads are dangerious I shouldnt be talking on the cell and driving. (me) Yeah thats right, well then I should let you go. (him) yeah ok, why dont you call me later on tonight(me) ok I guess I will talk to you later then. END OF CONVO! please send me a reply as to WTF that was about..lol....really.."we dont ever talk like that" were more open and jovial..and stuff. By the way,..."you know how you can tell when your talking to someone that there smileing"....thats how he was:) :) Ive known him for years,...I should know") Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted January 28, 2005 Author Share Posted January 28, 2005 I did not call him back later. I went to bed early as usual about 9 or 10. So I didnt call him back because right after a late supper at 8ish I went straight to the shower, took care of myself then went to bed. The next morning I did e-mail him and tell him so. I got no reply. I dont know what to do. I have sent him 3 since then with no reply. One regaurding why I didnt call him, the second to help me out with a choice of computers, the third a very short one. It only stated that I would like him to call and that if he really wanted to that he would call instead of me havieng to call him. NO REPLY~ Am I on block? Probably,..."are my e-mails being put into junk mail"? probably.. am i makeing this all up in my head "probably" Is it better to walk away from this ? Probably thanks LOL..I just answered my owne questions. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 SilentPrayer, you are a BANANA You should definitely have phoned when you said you would. And not sent *3* emails. And not blamed him in email number 3. You're sending off "obsessive and unstable" signals. All is not lost though. Sit back, try to relax and don't contact him again for at least a couple of days after mail number 3 - the ball is in his court. If my ex did this, I'd probably laugh and ring her back. When/if he rings, be fun and friendly. Don't think of getting back straight away - you're just trying to establish again that you're nice... and fun to be with. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 He might be dating someone else and they might have been in the car with him. Just move on. I'm on day 18 of complete NC from my psycho restraining order ex. The last time I saw him he was drunk on my front step screaming at me. Even though he was an ass, I actually dreamt about calling him last night and woke up in a funk until my new guy called me before he went in to work. He was so sweet it reminded me of why I hated my ex so much. I'm just saying, whether they were great or not, if you broke up stay broken up. My Mom always told me this and I never listened - but she's right. there are reasons you broke up, and in 19 days those can't have changed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted January 28, 2005 Author Share Posted January 28, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo SilentPrayer, you are a BANANA You should definitely have phoned when you said you would. And not sent *3* emails. And not blamed him in email number 3. You're sending off "obsessive and unstable" signals. All is not lost though. Sit back, try to relax and don't contact him again for at least a couple of days after mail number 3 - the ball is in his court. If my ex did this, I'd probably laugh and ring her back. When/if he rings, be fun and friendly. Don't think of getting back straight away - you're just trying to establish again that you're nice... and fun to be with. I am not a BANANA! Look, the reason I didnt call was because I was tired. I would have called the next day but I decided not to because I was exstremely buisy getting material for an add I am doing. I figured since I was online doing research that I should send him an e-mail. Its been like 4 days since the last e-mail. And NO I dont make an ass out of myself in these e-mails. I am always conciderate. I want to call, I want it all back. I know I cant rush and that he probably wants to be together like I do. I am going to take your advice and take it slow...very slow..so slow..I cant been seen. ANd also,..."when should I demand that I be taken on the block list"? LOL. dumb questions...f*** im dumb f*** Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 as much as u want him u gotta leave him be... u dont want him to think ur annoying & obsessive.... figure it this way... if he really cared about you & really wanted to work things out agian, he'd be calling you. STOPPPPP the contact with him! lol... see if he comes around in a month or two and if not move on... cmon we're girls we can get guys pretty easily! another one will come around soon Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Hey, SilentPrayer, The banana comment was kindly meant - I think the story is sweet. I do agree with Nicole though.... give him space and see if he comes back. Or ring him again when there has been space. No email though - you dont get the instant reply and its less personal... Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Originally posted by NiCoLe20 Figure it this way... if he really cared about you & really wanted to work things out agian, he'd be calling you. STOPPPPP the contact with him! Lol... see if he comes around in a month or two and if not move on... cmon we're girls we can get guys pretty easily! Another one will come around soon. He will call back. When he's missing the sex. Lol. If he does don't take it as a sign that he wants to get back together if he rings. You'll be a fool if you do. Stop the contact. That's the only way to get over the guy. Move on and try make things work out with the new guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Urban Rubble01 Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Well, I just did 28 days of NC. But I called her on Friday (why, I don't know). It's weird, all I want in the world is for her to be affectionate to me. So when I call her and she says things like "I love you so much", and "Think of how much better it'll be after this is all over" why does that make me feel so ****ty ? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts