RoseHeart Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 I know what your thinking... why not just block him? Well it's not so easy. Easier said than done. I've tried that like a bazillion times now and it doesn't work. I keep unblocking him and just checking him up again on social media. It's no use in lying to myself. I keep trying and trying but it doesn't work. I get a rush in seeing what he is doing and even though it has led to hurting me (seeing him with other girls) it's just so difficult for me to just stop. I was wondering if maybe other people are struggling with this? I think what I need is someone who is also going through something similar and who I can report back to. It can even be a group of people and we can set weekly goals or something. I just know this is something that has really been holding up and with social media being so available these days I figured other people might need some help too. Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Well you definitely are lying to yourself by not leaving him blocked. Heck, I have my ex blocked, but I have used a different account to snoop when my urge got that bad. There's nothing that I or anyone else can tell you that will make you stop looking. I don't struggle with looking at my ex's Facebook, but I have struggled in the past, and I have the urge to do it right now . Whenever you get the urge to do it, instead of caving, try researching something that will benefit you in the future. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you are interested in going into a specific career, research it. If you don't have a job, then look for one. If you wanted to learn how to do something, watch a video on it. Go for a walk, or a run. The only one who can help you is you. You can do this! You're not alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseHeart Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 Well you definitely are lying to yourself by not leaving him blocked. Heck, I have my ex blocked, but I have used a different account to snoop when my urge got that bad. There's nothing that I or anyone else can tell you that will make you stop looking. I don't struggle with looking at my ex's Facebook, but I have struggled in the past, and I have the urge to do it right now . Whenever you get the urge to do it, instead of caving, try researching something that will benefit you in the future. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you are interested in going into a specific career, research it. If you don't have a job, then look for one. If you wanted to learn how to do something, watch a video on it. Go for a walk, or a run. The only one who can help you is you. You can do this! You're not alone. I'm 21 years old. You're right I know that I am lying to myself. I really do want to change this which is why I thought of having a accountability friend. That might motivate me. The most embarrassing thing is I don't even have Facebook... I literally use a old gaming account just to look him up I like your advice though. I should probably have a game plan and think of things to do in advance. Thanks for your advice Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 I had the same issue with my last boyfriend and I found something that worked. I have a very weak stomach. I cannot see things like blood and broken bones. So I decided that if I needed to look at his social media, then every time I did it I had to look online at a broken bone (an open fracture where I could see bone sticking out of the skin and everything). Because of that, I have not looked at his social media since. I don't know how many months it has been now. I stopped counting. If there is anything you have a huge aversion to, make a deal with yourself that every time you stalk him online you have to force yourself to do something dreadful. It definitely worked for me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseHeart Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 I had the same issue with my last boyfriend and I found something that worked. I have a very weak stomach. I cannot see things like blood and broken bones. So I decided that if I needed to look at his social media, then every time I did it I had to look online at a broken bone (an open fracture where I could see bone sticking out of the skin and everything). Because of that, I have not looked at his social media since. I don't know how many months it has been now. I stopped counting. If there is anything you have a huge aversion to, make a deal with yourself that every time you stalk him online you have to force yourself to do something dreadful. It definitely worked for me. I have never thought about that before! Wow what a great idea. I'll definitely use this technique now. Thank you so much for this valuable tip Link to post Share on other sites
JollyDays Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 I'll be your accountability friend. I had a LDR ex join Facebook in late April, and FB informed me of this, which was creepy as hell, and even more creepy since I was deactivated the day she joined, AND the site forced my profile to request her as a friend, which I didn't and couldn't do, since I was deactivated; so I had to remove the request, causing extreme embarrassment for me. The great thing is that we haven't spoken with each other. It's like I had 10 years of psychological growth collapse in a **** pile over the past few weeks. I get curious as hell about her and anxious as well whenever I log into my Facebook account. At times, I have wondered if she has kids, which makes me sort of depressed, since I think of the potential family that I never had with her. I just kind of decided that today is the day that I will let it all go, ONCE AND FOR ALL, and move forward. Yet, I need a helping hand as well. WE CAN DO THIS! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ashurii Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Welp, the pain will get you to stop spying. I looked on his FB today to find myself defriended. Sent me into a setback and I slipped up and broke NC, though it's only been a few days since he started it (yes, him, not me. I was still in the pleading stage). I've been extremely pathetic this week all around. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Shetland Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 This may be extreme but what I did was, Block, de-activated my accounts, and then blocked the websites so my computer can't even access the login screen. Its all a matter of judging how much self-control you have. I have some level of control, but seeing pictures sends me backto day one, so putting as much between me and social media is worth it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseHeart Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 I'll be your accountability friend. I had a LDR ex join Facebook in late April, and FB informed me of this, which was creepy as hell, and even more creepy since I was deactivated the day she joined, AND the site forced my profile to request her as a friend, which I didn't and couldn't do, since I was deactivated; so I had to remove the request, causing extreme embarrassment for me. The great thing is that we haven't spoken with each other. It's like I had 10 years of psychological growth collapse in a **** pile over the past few weeks. I get curious as hell about her and anxious as well whenever I log into my Facebook account. At times, I have wondered if she has kids, which makes me sort of depressed, since I think of the potential family that I never had with her. I just kind of decided that today is the day that I will let it all go, ONCE AND FOR ALL, and move forward. Yet, I need a helping hand as well. WE CAN DO THIS! I added you to my contacts but I see you don't have private messaging enabled. I'd love to contact you so we can do some goal setting and discuss how we're going to avoid stalking them online 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kayla73 Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 You will feel so much better if you just deactivate your Facebook all together. Before you deactivate it, delete all of your friends so you have an even greater reason not to get back on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 We can't stop you from being your own worst enemy and sabotaging yourself. We can talk until we're blue in the face, but if you are so desperate to where you're clutching onto straws and stalking social media, then I guess you are going to have to keep burning yourself until you get sick of it. I wish there was a magic word to get you out of your funk, but we can't do that unless you want to, And for whatever reason, you don't want to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JollyDays Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I added you to my contacts but I see you don't have private messaging enabled. I'd love to contact you so we can do some goal setting and discuss how we're going to avoid stalking them online Ha!! I'm trying to figure out where the private messaging settings are. Can you tell me, please? Link to post Share on other sites
AIJ Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I would check my ex's Twitter CONSTANTLY for a month or two after the break up. I forced myself to stop, I managed 3 days without looking. Caved in. 5 days without looking. Caved in. Ever since then, it has been a good two months or so without me checking, I have 0 urge to check it which is superb. I think I'm at that point of indifference now, I just don't really care what she's doing or who she's doing it with, I don't miss her, I don't want her back, I don't want anything to do with her and I'm happily going about my life with any thoughts of her coming across very, very rarely these days Alternatively what you could do, if you're checking it up on a computer, there's an add-on for Google Chrome that will stop you accessing certain webpages. If you throw your ex's Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. in to that, and then get a friend to set a password for the add-on so you can't unlock it and stop them diverting, you'll be all set. If you're checking it on your phone, just delete the app. I found it helped me for a while, it just felt like far too much effort to redownload the app just to check her twitter again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gwwm123 Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I am struggling with that right now. My friend here at work has never seen her and I told her to check her out so she could see who I feel in love with and she said she was very pretty, so I am devastated now. Like you I cant find myself blocking her. I dont go into her profile because I know I will brake down severely, but just knowing she reactivated facebook after she told me she didnt use it as much makes me believe she misses me. So I am holding my feelings by a thread hoping that one day she will contact me again. I cant block , she is my only true love and I want to know she is still there because I wont find anyone like her. Dont feel alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ManyDissapoint Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I am struggling with that right now. My friend here at work has never seen her and I told her to check her out so she could see who I feel in love with and she said she was very pretty, so I am devastated now. Like you I cant find myself blocking her. I dont go into her profile because I know I will brake down severely, but just knowing she reactivated facebook after she told me she didnt use it as much makes me believe she misses me. So I am holding my feelings by a thread hoping that one day she will contact me again. I cant block , she is my only true love and I want to know she is still there because I wont find anyone like her. Dont feel alone. She's not that special. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwwm123 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 She's not that special. She is to me, one of a kind girl, specially where I live in. Independent, family-oriented and absolutely gorgeous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoseHeart Posted May 14, 2015 Author Share Posted May 14, 2015 Ha!! I'm trying to figure out where the private messaging settings are. Can you tell me, please? Control panel ---> Under "settings and options" go to "edit options". Hope to hear from you soon! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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