Does it ever get better?

[Loveless86]

Just woke up after 3 hours sleep thinking about her, i thought id be on my way to feeling a little better by now but all i did was dream of her now feel like **** again, when do these feelings go? does it get and better?

[minimariah]

it most definitely DOES get better! i can tell you that much.

when does it get better...? unfortunately, i can't tell you that. time heals -- that's all i know. it takes time. so be patient, healing will come.

 

i know that, right now, pain is unbearable but you'll get to the point where you won't even remember what it was like being with that person in the same room... let alone loving her & missing her.

 

so there is hope. just keep it going.

[Loveless86]

it most definitely DOES get better! i can tell you that much.

when does it get better...? unfortunately, i can't tell you that. time heals -- that's all i know. it takes time. so be patient, healing will come.

 

i know that, right now, pain is unbearable but you'll get to the point where you won't even remember what it was like being with that person in the same room... let alone loving her & missing her.

 

so there is hope. just keep it going.

 

 

 

I wonder if shes feeling anywhere near the same amount of pain as me, it would be nice to know she cares. I doubt it since shes with someone else already.

[Familia]

I am not sure they do as they are in the honeymoon period with the new flame, after 7 years we broke up 2 months ago and never heard anything from her, why because she is with someone else.

 

They are masking any pain with the new flame.

 

Hang in there, I know it really hurts, it hurts badly, but we need to move on and knowing they are with someone actually helps as you know they will not reach out.

 

I wonder if shes feeling anywhere near the same amount of pain as me, it would be nice to know she cares. I doubt it since shes with someone else already.

[minimariah]

I wonder if shes feeling anywhere near the same amount of pain as me, it would be nice to know she cares. I doubt it since shes with someone else already.

 

you know, when i was in that situation - it helped me to think that the other side doesn't care AT ALL. it's like focusing on the worst case scenario so everything else is just a lovely, pleasant surprise.

 

kill hope, just assume she is as lucky as ever and moved on. don't torture yourself with hoping and wondering how she feels, does she miss you... it doesn't matter. it's over with, you focus on your life and move on. what she thinks or feels isn't relevant anymore, as simple as that.

[Loveless86]

I am not sure they do as they are in the honeymoon period with the new flame, after 7 years we broke up 2 months ago and never heard anything from her, why because she is with someone else.

 

They are masking any pain with the new flame.

 

Hang in there, I know it really hurts, it hurts badly, but we need to move on and knowing they are with someone actually helps as you know they will not reach out.

 

18 months we were together, she phoned me last week to tell me shes seeing someone else we broke up a month ago. Not heard anything since last week, might hear from her when her rebound goes wrong.

[Familia]

18 months we were together, she phoned me last week to tell me shes seeing someone else we broke up a month ago. Not heard anything since last week, might hear from her when her rebound goes wrong.

 

I never thought after 7 years mine would move on so quickly and progress the relationship so aggressively, as we all know it is bound to fail on some part in the near future.

 

When they are with someone else you know it is no use waiting around to reconcile as they are in there own new little world

[Loveless86]

you know, when i was in that situation - it helped me to think that the other side doesn't care AT ALL. it's like focusing on the worst case scenario so everything else is just a lovely, pleasant surprise.

 

kill hope, just assume she is as lucky as ever and moved on. don't torture yourself with hoping and wondering how she feels, does she miss you... it doesn't matter. it's over with, you focus on your life and move on. what she thinks or feels isn't relevant anymore, as simple as that.

 

Im finding it hard to let go even tho she obviously didnt despite all the things she used to tell me, youre right tho i need to act as tho shes dead to me now

[Loveless86]

I never thought after 7 years mine would move on so quickly and progress the relationship so aggressively, as we all know it is bound to fail on some part in the near future.

 

When they are with someone else you know it is no use waiting around to reconcile as they are in there own new little world

 

I hope her new fling goes to **** and she comes crawling back, hopefully ill be in a better place by then and can tell her to get lost

[Familia]

I hope her new fling goes to **** and she comes crawling back, hopefully ill be in a better place by then and can tell her to get lost

 

So so very true, I am sure she will still be comparing the new flame with everything you were and everything you did, she would be

[fireflywy]

It WILL definitely get better my friend. It will take time of course, but you can bet your sweet ass it gets better.

 

Until then, it's okay to dream about them as these wont stop right away, it's okay to cry, its okay to write letters (which you should NEVER send) expressing your anger/thoughts, and just letting it all out when you need too.

 

Here are the four songs which you'll go through.

 

1. Let it Hurt (its okay to feel what you feel and you may be here for a few weeks. I was here for a month and half but it will pass!)

 

 

"Sometimes the only way around it is to let love do it's work.."

 

and then, in time...

 

2. I feel Bad (this is an AWESOME stage which I'm thankfully now entering and you will soon too)

 

"All I want to do is turn the page....Maybe its just I've cried so much, I'm tired and numb and baby I hate it, I feel bad, that I don't feel bad.."

 

3. And then you'll look in back at the aftermath you're currently going through and say "None of that was stronger then me. I'm still standing."

 

"Stand"

 

and then, on some day not so long from now, you'll wake up, the sun will be shining, you'll be stronger, some sweet girl will catch your eye with a demure smile and you'll feel and think this...

 

4. Feels Like Today

 

 

All of this is coming for you.

Edited May 5, 2015 by fireflywy

[Loveless86]

It WILL definitely get better my friend. It will take time of course, but you can bet your sweet ass it gets better.

 

Until then, it's okay to dream about them as these wont stop right away, it's okay to cry, its okay to write letters (which you should NEVER send) expressing your anger/thoughts, and just letting it all out when you need too.

 

Here are the four songs which you'll go through.

 

1. Let it Hurt (its okay to feel what you feel and you may be here for a few weeks. I was here for a month and half but it will pass!)

 

 

"Sometimes the only way around it is to let love do it's work.."

 

and then, in time...

 

2. I feel Bad (this is an AWESOME stage which I'm thankfully now entering and you will soon too)

 

"All I want to do is turn the page....Maybe its just I've cried so much, I'm tired and numb and baby I hate it, I feel bad, that I don't feel bad.."

 

3. And then you'll look in back at the aftermath you're currently going through and say "None of that was stronger then me. I'm still standing."

 

"Stand"

 

and then, on some day not so long from now, you'll wake up, the sun will be shining, you'll be stronger, some sweet girl will catch your eye with a demure smile and you'll feel and think this...

 

4. Feels Like Today

 

 

All of this is coming for you.

 

 

Thanks for your words i greatly appreciate it ive started writing down all the things that annoyed me about her ( there were a few things ), that seems to be working

[fireflywy]

Thanks for your words i greatly appreciate it ive started writing down all the things that annoyed me about her ( there were a few things ), that seems to be working

 

I did the same thing and even carried it in my pocket to remind myself of everything I had worked so hard to get beyond when it came to her quirks and how I was treated at times. It helped me too.

 

I don't hate her I'd course, but I finally got angry/annoyed at the things she did to not want her back so much. Now I take satisfaction that I'm working on myself while, her little list is probably staying the same.

[diamondgirl]

it gets better im 8 months out of my 7 year relationship and while i still have down days, it DOES get better. i am doing really well now despite a few sad moments! NC is the only way. onwards and upwards!

[Loveless86]

it gets better im 8 months out of my 7 year relationship and while i still have down days, it DOES get better. i am doing really well now despite a few sad moments! NC is the only way. onwards and upwards!

 

Im 5 weeks out of an 18 months relationship

 

ive done NC for 2 weeks

 

She phoned me 2 weeks ago to tell me shes seeing someone else

 

Its still raw and i cant believe its happened i thought we were gonna be together forever. She constantly told me she loved me and she didnt want anyone else.

 

Im getting better slowly.

[Jonp219]

Im 5 weeks out of an 18 months relationship

 

ive done NC for 2 weeks

 

She phoned me 2 weeks ago to tell me shes seeing someone else

 

Its still raw and i cant believe its happened i thought we were gonna be together forever. She constantly told me she loved me and she didnt want anyone else.

 

Im getting better slowly.

 

I know you're still in that initial shock stage and you still have her on a pedestal, but the fact that she called you just to tell you that shows that she's an immature little twat. I think you deserve better than her man, she's not a woman she's a little ass girl. In a few weeks you'll start seeing things from a more logical perspective and you'll se what I mean. I wish you the best of luck.

[Loveless86]

I know you're still in that initial shock stage and you still have her on a pedestal, but the fact that she called you just to tell you that shows that she's an immature little twat. I think you deserve better than her man, she's not a woman she's a little ass girl. In a few weeks you'll start seeing things from a more logical perspective and you'll se what I mean. I wish you the best of luck.

 

Ha some good words there, hands down one of the best responses ive had.

 

I asked her why she was calling to tell me that, when i specificity told her that i was taking her off fb because i didnt want to see if she was with someone else.

 

She said she thought it was best coming from her than from someone else.

 

 

 

Or maybe try NOT announcing ever part of your life on facebook to deliberately upset people!!!!

 

Anger is replacing sorrow its about time

[Jonp219]

Ha some good words there, hands down one of the best responses ive had.

 

I asked her why she was calling to tell me that, when i specificity told her that i was taking her off fb because i didnt want to see if she was with someone else.

 

She said she thought it was best coming from her than from someone else.

 

 

 

Or maybe try NOT announcing ever part of your life on facebook to deliberately upset people!!!!

 

Anger is replacing sorrow its about time

 

She just did that to alleviate her guilt man. If you told her you were taking her off FB prior to her telling you that, then that's all it was, it was just her trying to make herself feel better about replacing you. Now when people see her they'll ask her, "Hey, what happened to Loveless I though you guys were still together?...". She can just turn around and say, "Oh no we broke up! But we're on good terms, he knows I'm with this guy. Its cool! ." And of course, she thinks it's best coming from her, she doesn't want to look like the bad guy! See what I mean?

 

I know it's going to take a while to get over this ordeal, but you will feel better as time passes. I'm 3 months post break-up and although I still have my moments, the pain doesn't come remotely close to what it was in the beginning. Make sure you hang out with your friends/family as much as possible, I think that's the quickest way to recover from a break-up because you realize you're not alone in this world. There are people out there who still love you and wouldn't think twice of losing you, like she did.

 

You deserve a wonderful lady who loves you with all her heart, not one who half-asses her way through a relationship.

[dyna85]

I'm not trying to be a downer, but the God's honest truth for me is that I'm still extremely depressed 4+ months nc after the fact. The weekends are especially bad for me. It's really, really hard. I'm wondering if it will ever get better too, as these feelings are just so persistent and it hurts so much.

[Loveless86]

She just did that to alleviate her guilt man. If you told her you were taking her off FB prior to her telling you that, then that's all it was, it was just her trying to make herself feel better about replacing you. Now when people see her they'll ask her, "Hey, what happened to Loveless I though you guys were still together?...". She can just turn around and say, "Oh no we broke up! But we're on good terms, he knows I'm with this guy. Its cool! ." And of course, she thinks it's best coming from her, she doesn't want to look like the bad guy! See what I mean?

 

I know it's going to take a while to get over this ordeal, but you will feel better as time passes. I'm 3 months post break-up and although I still have my moments, the pain doesn't come remotely close to what it was in the beginning. Make sure you hang out with your friends/family as much as possible, I think that's the quickest way to recover from a break-up because you realize you're not alone in this world. There are people out there who still love you and wouldn't think twice of losing you, like she did.

 

You deserve a wonderful lady who loves you with all her heart, not one who half-asses her way through a relationship.

 

 

I know what youre saying i still wish she hadent told me then i could be saved from this grief.

 

When she phoned i thought she was going to ask for me back, then she tells me that.

 

It felt like she pulled my heart out and kicked me in the bollocks.

 

I know someone will come along whose more mature and wont hurt me and ill get over this its just going to take time

[Loveless86]

I'm not trying to be a downer, but the God's honest truth for me is that I'm still extremely depressed 4+ months nc after the fact. The weekends are especially bad for me. It's really, really hard. I'm wondering if it will ever get better too, as these feelings are just so persistent and it hurts so much.

 

How long were you together dyna?

 

I know how youre feeling im 5 weeks out of my relationship it really hurts that shes now with someone else im still down about it.

 

Its best to talk about it to friends and family and on here, theres also some good clips on youtube.

 

Best way forward seems to be no contact, delete their number and facebook and get rid of all that reminds you of them.

 

Go out with friends and concentrate on yourself, a better person will come along when you least expect it.

[Gwwm123]

It took me about a year and a few months to get over her, then I feel into denial stage and just accepted I was going to be alone forever and did feel better most of the time, then two years past she contacts me again, we tried and it did not work, felt as bad as the first time and now I am back to denial and feeling somewhat better. Focus on yourself, go to the gym, play sports, hang out with friends, entertain that brain of yours, that will only speed up the healing process.

 

In conclusion, IT DOES GET BETTER!

[dyna85]

It took me about a year and a few months to get over her, then I feel into denial stage and just accepted I was going to be alone forever and did feel better most of the time, then two years past she contacts me again, we tried and it did not work, felt as bad as the first time and now I am back to denial and feeling somewhat better. Focus on yourself, go to the gym, play sports, hang out with friends, entertain that brain of yours, that will only speed up the healing process.

 

In conclusion, IT DOES GET BETTER!

 

Fudge. That's scary. So you grieved a freakin' year+ and she returns 2 freaking years later? Omg. Well, sounds like at least maybe you got further closure the 2nd time?

 

I agree that you gotta focus on yourself, but sadly the pain follows you everywhere. And by everywhere, I truly do mean everywhere.

 

@loveless, it was an embarrassingly brief period. Makes me feel even worse when I think of how short of a time period it was that I knew him in the physical sense. Yes, I agree that it's important to chat with friends about it, and I certainly have been going that route. However, as with most things, people don't really understand it unless they've been in your shoes, so it's hard to fully accept the advice being given and move on, without a care, as people so often recommend. You can't really control your feelings, you know? They just are kind of there.. and must be dealt with. You can't brush them aside as hard as you might want to. And believe me, I have wanted to and I have tried to 'get rid' of these feelings, so to speak. Yet, I must learn to cope with them. Guess, we're in a similar boat in this regard.

 

Agree with you that maintaining nc is the way to go. However, it doesn't ease the hurt. I carry that hurt with me. It's there when I'm working, when I'm out with friends, and when I'm alone. Oh well... must press forward, as that is the only way.

[Loveless86]

Fudge. That's scary. So you grieved a freakin' year+ and she returns 2 freaking years later? Omg. Well, sounds like at least maybe you got further closure the 2nd time?

 

I agree that you gotta focus on yourself, but sadly the pain follows you everywhere. And by everywhere, I truly do mean everywhere.

 

@loveless, it was an embarrassingly brief period. Makes me feel even worse when I think of how short of a time period it was that I knew him in the physical sense. Yes, I agree that it's important to chat with friends about it, and I certainly have been going that route. However, as with most things, people don't really understand it unless they've been in your shoes, so it's hard to fully accept the advice being given and move on, without a care, as people so often recommend. You can't really control your feelings, you know? They just are kind of there.. and must be dealt with. You can't brush them aside as hard as you might want to. And believe me, I have wanted to and I have tried to 'get rid' of these feelings, so to speak. Yet, I must learn to cope with them. Guess, we're in a similar boat in this regard.

 

Agree with you that maintaining nc is the way to go. However, it doesn't ease the hurt. I carry that hurt with me. It's there when I'm working, when I'm out with friends, and when I'm alone. Oh well... must press forward, as that is the only way.

 

 

18 months we were together, we broke up 5 weeks ago

 

The hard part to get over was her getting with her new guy the night we broke up.

 

I didnt think she would be the type to go with the first person to show her attention.

 

Its going to take me a while to fully get over.

 

You're right i tell people about it but unless they've been through it they dont know what its like.

 

Id switch these feelings off if i could, i know what youre going through dyna.

[Gwwm123]

Fudge. That's scary. So you grieved a freakin' year+ and she returns 2 freaking years later? Omg. Well, sounds like at least maybe you got further closure the 2nd time?

 

I agree that you gotta focus on yourself, but sadly the pain follows you everywhere. And by everywhere, I truly do mean everywhere.

 

@loveless, it was an embarrassingly brief period. Makes me feel even worse when I think of how short of a time period it was that I knew him in the physical sense. Yes, I agree that it's important to chat with friends about it, and I certainly have been going that route. However, as with most things, people don't really understand it unless they've been in your shoes, so it's hard to fully accept the advice being given and move on, without a care, as people so often recommend. You can't really control your feelings, you know? They just are kind of there.. and must be dealt with. You can't brush them aside as hard as you might want to. And believe me, I have wanted to and I have tried to 'get rid' of these feelings, so to speak. Yet, I must learn to cope with them. Guess, we're in a similar boat in this regard.

 

Agree with you that maintaining nc is the way to go. However, it doesn't ease the hurt. I carry that hurt with me. It's there when I'm working, when I'm out with friends, and when I'm alone. Oh well... must press forward, as that is the only way.

 

This second time I am coping with it much much better than the last time, this was close to two months ago, I remember very clearly how I felt two months after our initial break-up, hell would have been a better place to be in.

 

Now I need to toughen up, sometimes I think it is better to accept you lost your only true love and move on, like the GEICO commercial says "I am a loner Jessie, and a loner has got to be alone, hyah!" jajajaja.

 

Her memory still follows me everywhere, but most of the time I am too busy or entertained to even remember her, so that is progress of a kind. Eventually, she will just be that girl I feel in love with.