Withdrawal and Loneliness

[MagicRat09]

So I basically decided to give up on someone and I'm going No Contact in the sense that I am not reaching out in any way.

 

And I'm going through pretty horrid withdrawal. Anger, desperate for a distraction, the dread that maybe I wasn't as important to them as I thought I was. That sort of thing. That whole staring at the phone my happiness depends on whether I hear from them BS. I'm feeling quite a bit of self-loathing.

 

I'm trying to distract myself with friends and other activities but I'm kinda sleepwalking through them. Meditation helps. But the mood swings are so violent. Worse at work because the atmosphere here is pretty poor so that's just adding to the blah.

 

I feel like a damn high school kid.

[Mr Scorpio]

Sleep-walking through everything isn't abnormal after a break-up IMO. I don't doubt meditation is helpful, but I know how helpful exercise can be.

 

The worst part for me was always the lack of sleep. I would toss and turn and eventually fall asleep (say around 3-4am), only to wake up two or three hours later. I would think to myself "No! NO! It can't be time to go through another day of this! Not already!" Day after day. No appetite. No sleep. No joy.

 

And then came exercise. Granted, I wasn't running marathons, or anywhere near close. But every step was an enjoyable challenge. And even though I didn't naturally take to exercise at first, I knew what the alternative was: sitting around thinking about the break-up.

 

And then came a decent night sleep. It doesn't make up for the heartbreak, but it makes it a lot easier to tolerate. Exercise. Get strong. Stay strong.

[Satu]

*That whole staring at the phone my happiness depends on whether I hear from them BS.

 

*You have to block them, if you want peace of mind.

 

*No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means he/she might use to contact you.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media. No monitoring of her/him on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he/she is doing or saying.

[Miss Sisyphus]

When I quit smoking, I realized the cravings only lasted about 3 - 4 minutes at a time. Yes, they came often, but they didn't last all day. I could resist the urge to smoke for those 3 to 4 minutes. And, after a few weeks of resisting, the cravings were pretty much gone. No more addiction. Sometimes now, nine years later, I'll think about smoking a cigarette--especially when I'm under stress--but then I remember that they didn't really taste all that great. Plus, I wouldn't want to have to go through the stress of quitting all over again.

 

I think this approach works for getting over relationships too--you just have to endure those cravings until they're gone.

Edited May 2, 2015 by Miss Sisyphus