OhNoNotAgain Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 So here's my one year update, actually a little over a year now. I guess I just feel the need to write since I'm an idiot and decided to look at her facebook page. And lucky me got to see pics of her with her new boyfriend. Totally crushed me. Such a stupid decision. Anyway, It's been over a year, and I still think about her every single day. I can't find someone new for the life of me, and the cycle of thinking about her, and not finding someone is brutal. I've been doing the online dating since we broke up (met her there), and I feel like I must have gone out with almost 40 girls by now, and none of them go anywhere. I've gotten laid a couple times, and the one girl I really like had her ex husband come back into the picture, and she disappeared. But I haven't met anyone and had a real connection with them. I can't understand how every girl I've been with finds a new guy almost immediately, and I have to practically win the lottery to find a new girlfriend. I just don't know what to do anymore, but I'm miserable. Not to mention humiliated at work because I'm the only single one. But what else can I do? I'm somewhat successful at getting dates from online, but what the hell is wrong with me? I don't think I'm ugly or anything, I have a good job, nice car, people usually think I'm funny. Why can't I just find a new girl????!!!! I am so beyond frustrated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Familia Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 If anything I can offer you my story, same situation I just heard from ex (7 year relationship) and we have been NC for about 3 months - only heard from her about selling her car and she already has someone - this contact whilst brief has totally broken me I like you have dated several girls over the past months and no-one seems to come close to my ex or what we had, so I have not pursued anything, and of these ones I have not pursued they end up in relationships within weeks with someone else. I actually think these women we are seeing / dating are beautiful girls although we are so hung up on our ex's we are too busy comparing these new girls with the ex which we are not over yet mentally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OhNoNotAgain Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 If anything I can offer you my story, same situation I just heard from ex (7 year relationship) and we have been NC for about 3 months - only heard from her about selling her car and she already has someone - this contact whilst brief has totally broken me I like you have dated several girls over the past months and no-one seems to come close to my ex or what we had, so I have not pursued anything, and of these ones I have not pursued they end up in relationships within weeks with someone else. I actually think these women we are seeing / dating are beautiful girls although we are so hung up on our ex's we are too busy comparing these new girls with the ex which we are not over yet mentally. I can barely get past 1 date with most of them. Either I'm not into them, or they are not into me. It gets so disheartening to go on date after date to just never talk to these people again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Familia Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Mate I know exactly how you feel, I too feel so empty like I am never going to find someone to love just like I loved my EX. It hurts, its lonely and its dark, but we need to keep moving forward with the hope we will just stumble across the one Check this out Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Maybe you two are trying too hard? I think you're treading the line of finding someone you want to be with and just finding anyone to be with. Relax and enjoy the single life, it's okay to be single. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OhNoNotAgain Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 Maybe you two are trying too hard? I think you're treading the line of finding someone you want to be with and just finding anyone to be with. Relax and enjoy the single life, it's okay to be single. I wouldn't say I'm trying too hard, since I could have moved forward with a few girls that I wasn't interested in. I just can't find someone I click with. Tired of being single. I'm always single. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I wouldn't say I'm trying too hard, since I could have moved forward with a few girls that I wasn't interested in. I just can't find someone I click with. Tired of being single. I'm always single. That's typically why people jump into relationships where they know it's not a good match. If you're not trying too hard, it's just a matter of patience. Really not much else to say except get out there and meet more people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) I wouldn't say I'm trying too hard, since I could have moved forward with a few girls that I wasn't interested in. I just can't find someone I click with. Tired of being single. I'm always single. I understand, I've been single for almost 3 months now and it sucks. Being single is a little scary for me since I recently got out of a 4 year relationship, and i'm still in that state where I feel i'll never find anyone just as good or better than that experience, partly due to my social ineptness. If anything I can offer you my story, same situation I just heard from ex (7 year relationship) and we have been NC for about 3 months - only heard from her about selling her car and she already has someone - this contact whilst brief has totally broken me I like you have dated several girls over the past months and no-one seems to come close to my ex or what we had, so I have not pursued anything, and of these ones I have not pursued they end up in relationships within weeks with someone else. I actually think these women we are seeing / dating are beautiful girls although we are so hung up on our ex's we are too busy comparing these new girls with the ex which we are not over yet mentally. If I got a message like that from my ex I don't know what I would do, I think that's absolutely cruel. Although I do anticipate the say I speak to her again, I do fear that I might hear something that I don't want to hear. As far as I know, she didn't leave me for anyone else, and the break-up was difficult. Hope and longing go hand and hand, if you still long for her then you still have hope, and that sucks the most. Edited May 1, 2015 by Jonp219 Link to post Share on other sites
dangerbang Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 You are doing good original poster. Well done in moving on from her. Dating sucks I know I've been on a couple recently, one I kind of liked but contact fizzled out, and one was lovely but I wasn't physically attracted. I've met girls I've fell for every few years since I was about 19 so it might happen again but maybe not. I'm not even 4 weeks single now. Before my last gf I didn't have sex for 1.5 years. Holy sh*t that's probably what I'm looking at now! Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I met my soon to be wife the second I got into the state of mind where I didn't need someone. You're not old and you'll get where you're going either way. Live the mentality of abundance. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwwm123 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 OP I think you are trying to find a girl that is exactly as the one you were with a year ago. Now, you have meet 40 woman since? There has to be at least one that gets somewhat close to that ex you had. Its hard to believe you have not. I think you are trying to get a perfect 10 and that is rough to find, not physically, but emotionally, usually 10s are flat-lined in the head, fun at the beginning but that fades in a matter of months. If I meet 40 woman there has to be at least one that really tickles me a little bit to try and give it a go with her. Again, I think you are setting a high bar for yourself. You meet woman at a rate most men would envy you, including myself, eventually you will find that girl that will make you forget all that crap you went through. I am lucky to meet a girl once a month, let alone 40 in a year. Goodness me, your chances of success are higher than most men. Take heart and keep doing what you are doing. I may sound like a broken record to those who have read my other posts but I will not stop repeating it. Go to the gym, practice a sport, that helps!! Look at some of us who don't have that luck or the skills to meet girls, take advantage of that and you will find her. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 So here's my one year update, actually a little over a year now. I guess I just feel the need to write since I'm an idiot and decided to look at her facebook page. And lucky me got to see pics of her with her new boyfriend. Totally crushed me. Such a stupid decision. Anyway, It's been over a year, and I still think about her every single day. I can't find someone new for the life of me, and the cycle of thinking about her, and not finding someone is brutal. I've been doing the online dating since we broke up (met her there), and I feel like I must have gone out with almost 40 girls by now, and none of them go anywhere. I've gotten laid a couple times, and the one girl I really like had her ex husband come back into the picture, and she disappeared. But I haven't met anyone and had a real connection with them. I can't understand how every girl I've been with finds a new guy almost immediately, and I have to practically win the lottery to find a new girlfriend. I just don't know what to do anymore, but I'm miserable. Not to mention humiliated at work because I'm the only single one. But what else can I do? I'm somewhat successful at getting dates from online, but what the hell is wrong with me? I don't think I'm ugly or anything, I have a good job, nice car, people usually think I'm funny. Why can't I just find a new girl????!!!! I am so beyond frustrated. This is what i'm afraid of once I start dating again. Every relationship is a unique experience and despite the fact that we meet new people or even BETTER people, we still want that experience that left us. Link to post Share on other sites
ApexTitanium Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 40 women? Wow ive only met one and wasnt physically attracted to her. Atleast you have a higher chance. Link to post Share on other sites
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