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I can't stop thinking about him.


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To make a seriously long and drawn out story short (though this is still long) I just got out of a 7 year relationship almost three months ago. In that time I met a guy and had a brief thing with him. I was MASSIVELY attracted to him. He said so many wonderful things to me, made me feel so good about myself, complimented me to the moon and back. I thought he was too good to be true.

 

We ended up having sex pretty quickly. It was pretty amazing. He was very good at it. I felt so wanted and so connected to him on this level. I was just...smitten with him, honestly. I had been lacking this connection with another person for so long (my ex and I had a severely lacking sex life to say the least)

 

Basically things between Mr. Perfect and I didn't work out because he claims he's not over his ex. Even though two weeks after we stopped talking I find him back on Okcupid, where I met him. We talked and I expressed that I wanted to get to know him the right way, he seemed like he was interested but "doesn't want to rush into a relationship."

 

I've pretty much backed off. However I have so many conflicting emotions over him. I can't stop thinking about him. Part of me wants to vilify him because I feel used. I feel like he wants me only for sex, nothing else. And part of me wants to just STOP talking to him or trying to talk to him. But a huge part of me loved what he did for me and wants to try to have that again. But my brain and heart are telling me no, he's just going to hurt me. Use me.

 

He ALMOST came over not too long ago because there was a chance of sex...then I decided against it and he's seemingly lost interest. Texted me once to ask how I was, hasn't tried since. My dumbass texted him tonight in a moment of weakness and now I feel foolish.

 

It really sucks. I have NEVER felt this way for someone ever in my life. Never felt a connection like this...or what I thought was a connection.

What really hurts? He had told me that I would be perfect if it weren't for his feelings for his ex...and I had believed he would have wanted to be with me if that wasn't a factor. Now? Not so much. =(

 

 

I don't know how to move on...short of deleting his number and I feel like I can't do that...help?

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I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

You're right though. Delete his number and all that stuff. He sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. It sucks, but would you really want to be with someone who doesn't know what they want?

 

Don't let him use you or hurt you anymore. Take that power away from him. Do what you have to do to move on. Hobbies, work/school, hang out with family and friends. Write your feelings out online or on paper or wherever. Make a list of all his negative qualities.

 

It will start to hurt less. You deserve someone who knows what they want.

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I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

You're right though. Delete his number and all that stuff. He sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. It sucks, but would you really want to be with someone who doesn't know what they want?

 

Don't let him use you or hurt you anymore. Take that power away from him. Do what you have to do to move on. Hobbies, work/school, hang out with family and friends. Write your feelings out online or on paper or wherever. Make a list of all his negative qualities.

 

It will start to hurt less. You deserve someone who knows what they want.

 

As much as I know I should delete his number, I still have a tiny shred of hope. I have no idea why. If he actually wanted to be with me, he would be making the effort. There's no effort being made on his part. I'm pretty sure he's already found another girl. I just sincerely hope I can find that connection with someone else, someday. Someone that makes me their choice, not their option.

 

I have been staying busy for the most part. It's just in the evenings when I'm having down time, my mind starts to wander.

 

I've been trying to focus on his negative qualities and some of the things he said/did that I didn't like and that sort of helps.

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My dear, you found this man after you broke off with your 7 years relationship. Ditto, there are so many men out there who knows how to make a woman weak in the knee. So go out there, Mix with people, other friends, socialize, and don't take life too serious because it is short, enjoy life while it lasts and along the way you will see someone who will appreciate your worth. If you don't go out, how will you meet Mr. Right? but like I said, whenever you meet anty man, just enjoy life, if they are serious, they will appreciate you. A note of caution though, don't make yourself too cheap, it may backfire.

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